Miro
I couldn't stop thinking about Miro today. It's been a year and a half since he died, and I know he's only a dog, so I can't really understand the loss of death, but I still miss him so much. I feel myself forgetting all the things I loved about him, swamped as I am by my love for my NEW dog, Loki. I feel all of his memories being replaced by those of someone fresh and physically present and I know I'm just a fickle traitor. Sometimes I just...forget that he ever existed, and that's the worst of all. Like he didn't even make an affect on me, when i KNOW that's not true. I'm completely different because he was my dog, aren't I? I know this must sound so stupid, but if you knew the way my family is with my dogs, they're just like people, they're an equal member of the family. We sit around all the time, thinking of what they would say if they could talk, making up a voice for each dog, fitting his personality. Miro always had this low lazy, smart-alecky voice that we associated with a pot head, since that's exactly how he acted, flopping around everwhere in an extremely goofy manner not really doing anything. He had this chair that was HIS and he would sit on top of the back cussion so that he could feel like the tallest thing in the room. And sometimes, if you sat in front of him on the chair with a bowl of cereal, he would rest his head on your shoulder, pretending to be really affectionate. But you'd know that all he wanted was your cereal. Not that it mattered, cause the point wasn't why he rested his head on your shoulder, it was just the point that he did it. And writing this right now, I realise how much I miss him and how much i loved him, and how much i just want him back. It's not fair at all that God gives you something so wonderful just long enough to make you need it and then he takes it away. He makes you do without right when you can't. Only you can, and you do. But you don't want to at all. We through away the chair when he died, it was too hard to walk into the family room and see it, and not see him on top of it. Now I miss the chair aswell.
There's so many good memories about him and yet, the first thing I ever think of about him is the worst possible thing I could. I remember him the day he died. He was only seven, so we didn't have any reason to think he was sick. He'd never shown any signs except that day. He was just lying on the floor when I got home from school, wheezing like he couldn't get up. And the worst part is that I just left him there. I didn't do anything, i just left him there. I'm that much of a cold hearted bitch. I was so disgusted by sickness that I couldn't see that he was gonna die, and I was never gonna see him again. I wasn't there to tell him how much I loved him, I was in the other room watching tv. I then when my mom came home she took him to the vet. When she came back i was playing playstation, and i asked her where miro was, and she started crying and told me he was dead. The fact that I can't stop thinking about this is even meaner than me just leaving him alone. It's as if his being dead is more important to me than him having been alive.
There's so many good memories about him and yet, the first thing I ever think of about him is the worst possible thing I could. I remember him the day he died. He was only seven, so we didn't have any reason to think he was sick. He'd never shown any signs except that day. He was just lying on the floor when I got home from school, wheezing like he couldn't get up. And the worst part is that I just left him there. I didn't do anything, i just left him there. I'm that much of a cold hearted bitch. I was so disgusted by sickness that I couldn't see that he was gonna die, and I was never gonna see him again. I wasn't there to tell him how much I loved him, I was in the other room watching tv. I then when my mom came home she took him to the vet. When she came back i was playing playstation, and i asked her where miro was, and she started crying and told me he was dead. The fact that I can't stop thinking about this is even meaner than me just leaving him alone. It's as if his being dead is more important to me than him having been alive.