Fic: Looking for Salvation with Dad in Another State

May 04, 2006 00:22

Title: Looking for Salvation With Dad in Another State
Author: merepersiflage
Pairings: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Category: angst
Word Count: 600
Spoilers: Through “Salvation”, as in that’s where the dialogue comes from
Summary: This is that missing scene from the last two minutes of “Salvation.” I guess it’s in the same arc as “Romance Goes Out the Window With Dad in the Next Room” and “And Angst Flies in the Window of the Impala With Dad a Half Mile Up the Road”
Warnings: broken boys, incest, m/m sex, serious abuse of pov
Disclaimer: The boys and all the good dialogue belong to others. You can tell because I would never have the nerve to break them like this.
Notes: Help. All my fun snark and lovely porn got buried under the angst of “Salvation.” If I disappoint because it’s not what you’re used to from me, I am very sorry. At least it’s really short. It’s all their fault. (See the disclaimer.)



Suddenly the rage that had been burning in Sam for days just exploded. Until Dean spoke, he didn’t even realize he had him pinned against the wall. His brother’s voice was so unexpectedly soft, it hit him in the face like ice water.

“The three of us, that’s all we have. And it’s all I have.”

Sam could feel his rage ebb away at the break in Dean’s voice.

Dean. Dean never talked like this. Never just said what he was feeling.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together, man.” His eyes were hollows of pain.

Sam almost leaned in to kiss him before he remembered how Dean had been pushing him away for a week. What did he want?

He hesitated, and then Dean was on him, kissing him as if that kiss would save them both.

At first, Sam was too stunned to respond, then he thrust back into Dean’s mouth, tasted blood-had he made Dean bite his tongue? And the kiss went deeper, rougher, harder, until he knew what Dean’s desperation tasted like, bitter but sweet enough to make him crave more.

I can’t save anybody, he wanted to tell him. Not you, not me, not Dad, not anybody. But Dean kept looking for some kind of salvation in his mouth, sucking his tongue like he could pull something pure out of him, something Sam knew was as dark as sin. His soul. Why else would everyone have to die for him? Why else would it target him?

But Dean’s kiss had no answers. Just a belief that this would save them. This bond. Them. Closer than lovers. Closer than blood.

Sam released his grip on Dean’s shirt and their bodies crashed together. Slammed, meshed, and slid again and again, as they worked to make two male bodies come together in a way that would fit that need to be inside each other. It was almost violent, frantic, hands pushing and shoving in frustration until each brother’s heat and hardness found the other.

This wasn’t going to be about feeling good and having fun, this was about reaffirming that bond. It was what they had to do, now, this minute, find refuge together or come apart, and maybe lose something they’d never find again.

Clothes just barely out of the way, hot but dry skin tugging, almost as much pain as pleasure, and it would still be enough. The kiss slowed and stopped, turning to shared panted breaths.

Sam looked back into his brother’s eyes. Not empty now, just a naked look, stripped of his humor, his cockiness, everything but the core of love he never expressed. Later Sam couldn’t remember who demanded and who pleaded as the thick words passed between them.

“There.”

“Now.”

“Wait.”

“Now.”

The skin of his brother’s cock was dragging against his, their hips so tight together the friction turned to fire. Their thrusts fell into a synchronous rhythm that sent a buzzing ball of energy rolling down Sam’s spine.

“Dean, I-“

“God, Sammy.”

Sam felt that energy turn his hips inside out. And their release spat heat between them, wet sparks set free from deep inside them both. A moment of death and rebirth. Falling apart and coming together. And maybe redemption was possible after all.

Dean kissed him again, slower now, soft as their spent erections still pressed into each other. When even that gentle pressure got to be too much, Sam stepped back.

Dean looked at him as if Sam was the only one who could keep him whole. And Sam was still too fucking fractured to even save himself.

supernatural, fic

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