Hallelujah
Sometimes a person can say something and it completely knocks you off track. You know they don’t mean anything bad by what they’ve said, but you can’t stop the pain that comes. It hurts and it’s nothing at the same time.
Back when I was first learning what friendships were about. Back when friends gave as much as they took... when they saw the bad in me and still insisted I was beautiful to them... I miss those days. The world had meaning then. It was going to go on forever. We could get lost. Close our eyes and be swept away to a place where we had no deeper want than the next smile we could pull forth.
I want what was then and I want what is now.
But I can’t have it all.
I used to dream. My writing reflected that. I used to know what I was about. I didn’t care if I was good enough to belong. All I cared about was being true to me. My insecurities made me fragile. They also made me pure.
I believed in myself. I believed in my stories. I believed I would fail. And it didn’t matter. I lived in my own room with my own faith. I knew deep down in my soul I had people who believed in me simply because they couldn't live one day without believing in me. That's what friendship used to be.
Now it all seems so jaded. So hopeless.
But this isn't about friendship... or life. It's about being beat down. It’s about losing yourself, selling out. It’s about opening a book you wrote years ago and realizing you had it then. But right now? You don't.
Ignorance.
It used to move me.
Passion.
Once it had me swallowed whole.
I feel like I'm starting all over again. Looking to be strange. Wanting to be that insecure little girl who listens to music nonstop and writes oddly dark poems all over scraps of paper.
I'll find myself again. Because that crazy, uncertain girl was the best possible version of me there ever was.
There’s a lot of people out there who will never believe in me. They stole my thunder years ago. You know what? I'm not giving into them anymore. I’m stealing back my thunder. Right here. Right now.
Hallelujah
Back when I was first learning what friendships were about. Back when friends gave as much as they took... when they saw the bad in me and still insisted I was beautiful to them... I miss those days. The world had meaning then. It was going to go on forever. We could get lost. Close our eyes and be swept away to a place where we had no deeper want than the next smile we could pull forth.
I want what was then and I want what is now.
But I can’t have it all.
I used to dream. My writing reflected that. I used to know what I was about. I didn’t care if I was good enough to belong. All I cared about was being true to me. My insecurities made me fragile. They also made me pure.
I believed in myself. I believed in my stories. I believed I would fail. And it didn’t matter. I lived in my own room with my own faith. I knew deep down in my soul I had people who believed in me simply because they couldn't live one day without believing in me. That's what friendship used to be.
Now it all seems so jaded. So hopeless.
But this isn't about friendship... or life. It's about being beat down. It’s about losing yourself, selling out. It’s about opening a book you wrote years ago and realizing you had it then. But right now? You don't.
Ignorance.
It used to move me.
Passion.
Once it had me swallowed whole.
I feel like I'm starting all over again. Looking to be strange. Wanting to be that insecure little girl who listens to music nonstop and writes oddly dark poems all over scraps of paper.
I'll find myself again. Because that crazy, uncertain girl was the best possible version of me there ever was.
There’s a lot of people out there who will never believe in me. They stole my thunder years ago. You know what? I'm not giving into them anymore. I’m stealing back my thunder. Right here. Right now.
Hallelujah