And now it's time for deep thoughts
When you have been on the receiving end of a great injustice, what do you do? I have been processing this question for a long time now and going through questions of my own identity and personal adequacy. I've been looking for meaning and patterns and examining my role in society.
Often I am asking about my identity. I don't know what it is, obviously. Not sure who does know their own. I can sort of identify other people and how I interpret what kind of person they are, but do you ever try to see yourself from that point of view? It's pretty damn difficult, and something of a slippery slope.
I always try to see me from other people's views, but it gets horribly skewed hence the slippery slope. It's like I can almost hear the voices in people's heads when they look at me for a split second and assume in that same time frame that they are thinking negatively about me. The next person I pass thinks something else. Then the next. More and more. My response is to blend in, so maybe everyone is less likely to think anything of me. Less likely to even notice. Then I complain that I never get noticed, and try to get noticed. I fail. I'm embarrassed. I try to blend in again, must avoid failing and humiliating myself.
The cycle continues ad infinitum.
Often I am asking about my identity. I don't know what it is, obviously. Not sure who does know their own. I can sort of identify other people and how I interpret what kind of person they are, but do you ever try to see yourself from that point of view? It's pretty damn difficult, and something of a slippery slope.
I always try to see me from other people's views, but it gets horribly skewed hence the slippery slope. It's like I can almost hear the voices in people's heads when they look at me for a split second and assume in that same time frame that they are thinking negatively about me. The next person I pass thinks something else. Then the next. More and more. My response is to blend in, so maybe everyone is less likely to think anything of me. Less likely to even notice. Then I complain that I never get noticed, and try to get noticed. I fail. I'm embarrassed. I try to blend in again, must avoid failing and humiliating myself.
The cycle continues ad infinitum.