i'd die without you
So it's been a weird past couple days... or rather... it was normal and pretty good up until yesterday afternoon... then it got sort of weird and now I'm in sort of a weird/nostalgic mood (strange combination, I know).
The dinner thing went fine... Graham only wound up staying til 7:30 and he had to leave, so that erased any awkwardness there might have been there.
Yesterday my mom and my sisters and I went shopping... mostly so Alys and Hanna could get school clothes (ha, they have like... a week and some days before school starts and I have 3 weeks and some days... *loves college*) and at some point both me and my mom got really tired... and btw I think the fact that there's a Starbucks in the mall automatically makes me tired... or at least think I'm tired.. so I'll go in and get coffee. Rarely can I go into the mall anymore without going to Starbucks.. *sigh* but it's okay bc she paid for it.. so I go in and- okay back up a bit.. there were a TON of military people there yesterday... idk if they all came together or if it was military-goes-to-the-mall day or what, but they were everywhere. So I went in Starbucks while my mom and sisters went to Belk and, not surprisingly, there were a couple military guys in there... which didn't bug me or anything, they were just in front of me in the line. Whatever, no big deal. After a couple minutes the guy behind the counter got to me, and as he did, the guy in front of me thought of something else he wanted- I guess he didn't realize the guy working there was talking to me.. but anyway, he told the guy what else he wanted and then realized he'd sort of cut me... so he looked at me and apologized.. whatever, I didn't really care bc I hadn't been waiting very long anyway... so after I pay for what I got, he looked at me again and said thank you- I guess bc I didn't yell at him for cutting me or something?- and I just sort of smiled I guess and said you're welcome... anyway, we're both waiting for them to finish our stuff and he looks at me again and asks who I'm there with yadayada... so we start talking a little (very little).. and it turns out he's a military guy originally from Pennsylvania.. whatever, I'm just being nice and not snubbing the guy for talking to me.. they get my drink out and I leave. (And for those of you who know I'm not very good at noticing guys hitting on me.. probably bc it happens so rarely.. I know he was hitting on me.. no need to inform me.) So I left and- at the time I wasn't exactly sure where my mom and sisters had gone- all I knew was they were looking for shoes, so I went to Rackroom or whatever shoe store it is near Starbucks... they weren't in there so I turned around, called my mom to ask where they were and headed towards Belk. Well.. as I'm walking in, military Starbucks guy is walking out- which means he must have left Starbucks RIGHT after me bc I spent a grand total of 30 seconds in the shoe store before realizing no one I knew was in there- and he smiles at me and kind of points at me like "I was looking for you"... well I'm still on the phone, but he asks me where I'm going.. and I just kind of told my mom to hold on a second and told the guy I was going to meet back up with my mom.. and started to walk past him.. and he's like "No wait-" but I kept going bc... idk I just did... probably some part of me figured that sooner or later my mom would come out of Belk, see me talking to some guy she doesn't know, and flip... so to avoid a REALLY awkward situation, I kept going. I told my mom about him when I got into Belk, and sure enough, she thought it sounded a little sketch- by this point I guess I sort of did, too... bc meeting someone at the mall isn't exactly the safest situation on earth.. anyway, we came out of Belk and he was sitting at a table outside Starbucks with the guys he was with originally.. I didn't make eye contact with him bc by this point... I guess I was kind of weirded out... I figured if he had walked into Belk just to find me, then told me to wait when he actually found me... odds are he was planning on asking me for my number or something... which I wouldn't have given him bc A) (childish as this sounds..) he's a stranger and B) I'm not really looking for a relationship with anyone, let alone some guy I met at the mall and don't really know at all who could be an axe murderer for all I know.. plus he's in the military, which means I'd never see him, and if I'm gonna be in a relationship with a guy I'll never see... (Jessie will appreciate this)... I'd kind of rather him be studying to be a surgeon. It's a tad safer... among other things... and I'm not saying that if I ever happen to fall in love with a guy in the military I'd ditch him bc of his profession- I wouldn't... but the circumstances being what they were yesterday.... n-no. That was just too weird... I did feel kind of bad though bc after all that I didn't really know what to do- and I kept seeing him... and pretty much avoided him like it was my job. I mean at the chance that he really was a nice guy... that probably looked a little mean, but... it looks REALLY suspicious just meeting someone in the MALL of all places, ya know? So I think I did the right thing, but I still feel like a jerk for sort of running away. Oh well... if God wants me to see the guy again, I will. But... probably not... he did have a really nice smile though. lol
So that's the part where I feel weird... that whole situation is still in my head- honestly, I have not been hit on or shown interest by a guy like that in a LONG time... we're talking years. Yes, I was very flattered... so.. whatever. I'll get over it. The nostalgic part... for some reason yesterday I really started to miss Florida a lot... particularly Leah. And I keep thinking about the day I left when her MOM started crying.. she told my mom to keep in really close touch with Dr. Fenton and Dr. Thomas and look into me transferring in a year... which probably won't happen bc I've gotten attached to Converse... but Leah's mom just cried.. she told my mom how much she had looked forward to me being part of their family and coming to their house on the weekends.. and she said that Leah needed me there.. it's really hard for me to get over that. I mean really- Leah's basically my sister... and probably as much as she needs me, I need her.. if for nothing else, then to keep each other sane.. and everything else that sisters/best friends need each other for. But anyway. I miss her a lot... I'm not so choked up about not being at FSU... just the fact that Leah's there and I'm here. *sobs*
Anyway. I'm supposed to be going to see John Tucker Must Die this afternoon with some girls, so hopefully that'll get me in a better mood... we'll see. So... I'm gonna go.. and do pilates or take a shower or something.. or both.
♥
The dinner thing went fine... Graham only wound up staying til 7:30 and he had to leave, so that erased any awkwardness there might have been there.
Yesterday my mom and my sisters and I went shopping... mostly so Alys and Hanna could get school clothes (ha, they have like... a week and some days before school starts and I have 3 weeks and some days... *loves college*) and at some point both me and my mom got really tired... and btw I think the fact that there's a Starbucks in the mall automatically makes me tired... or at least think I'm tired.. so I'll go in and get coffee. Rarely can I go into the mall anymore without going to Starbucks.. *sigh* but it's okay bc she paid for it.. so I go in and- okay back up a bit.. there were a TON of military people there yesterday... idk if they all came together or if it was military-goes-to-the-mall day or what, but they were everywhere. So I went in Starbucks while my mom and sisters went to Belk and, not surprisingly, there were a couple military guys in there... which didn't bug me or anything, they were just in front of me in the line. Whatever, no big deal. After a couple minutes the guy behind the counter got to me, and as he did, the guy in front of me thought of something else he wanted- I guess he didn't realize the guy working there was talking to me.. but anyway, he told the guy what else he wanted and then realized he'd sort of cut me... so he looked at me and apologized.. whatever, I didn't really care bc I hadn't been waiting very long anyway... so after I pay for what I got, he looked at me again and said thank you- I guess bc I didn't yell at him for cutting me or something?- and I just sort of smiled I guess and said you're welcome... anyway, we're both waiting for them to finish our stuff and he looks at me again and asks who I'm there with yadayada... so we start talking a little (very little).. and it turns out he's a military guy originally from Pennsylvania.. whatever, I'm just being nice and not snubbing the guy for talking to me.. they get my drink out and I leave. (And for those of you who know I'm not very good at noticing guys hitting on me.. probably bc it happens so rarely.. I know he was hitting on me.. no need to inform me.) So I left and- at the time I wasn't exactly sure where my mom and sisters had gone- all I knew was they were looking for shoes, so I went to Rackroom or whatever shoe store it is near Starbucks... they weren't in there so I turned around, called my mom to ask where they were and headed towards Belk. Well.. as I'm walking in, military Starbucks guy is walking out- which means he must have left Starbucks RIGHT after me bc I spent a grand total of 30 seconds in the shoe store before realizing no one I knew was in there- and he smiles at me and kind of points at me like "I was looking for you"... well I'm still on the phone, but he asks me where I'm going.. and I just kind of told my mom to hold on a second and told the guy I was going to meet back up with my mom.. and started to walk past him.. and he's like "No wait-" but I kept going bc... idk I just did... probably some part of me figured that sooner or later my mom would come out of Belk, see me talking to some guy she doesn't know, and flip... so to avoid a REALLY awkward situation, I kept going. I told my mom about him when I got into Belk, and sure enough, she thought it sounded a little sketch- by this point I guess I sort of did, too... bc meeting someone at the mall isn't exactly the safest situation on earth.. anyway, we came out of Belk and he was sitting at a table outside Starbucks with the guys he was with originally.. I didn't make eye contact with him bc by this point... I guess I was kind of weirded out... I figured if he had walked into Belk just to find me, then told me to wait when he actually found me... odds are he was planning on asking me for my number or something... which I wouldn't have given him bc A) (childish as this sounds..) he's a stranger and B) I'm not really looking for a relationship with anyone, let alone some guy I met at the mall and don't really know at all who could be an axe murderer for all I know.. plus he's in the military, which means I'd never see him, and if I'm gonna be in a relationship with a guy I'll never see... (Jessie will appreciate this)... I'd kind of rather him be studying to be a surgeon. It's a tad safer... among other things... and I'm not saying that if I ever happen to fall in love with a guy in the military I'd ditch him bc of his profession- I wouldn't... but the circumstances being what they were yesterday.... n-no. That was just too weird... I did feel kind of bad though bc after all that I didn't really know what to do- and I kept seeing him... and pretty much avoided him like it was my job. I mean at the chance that he really was a nice guy... that probably looked a little mean, but... it looks REALLY suspicious just meeting someone in the MALL of all places, ya know? So I think I did the right thing, but I still feel like a jerk for sort of running away. Oh well... if God wants me to see the guy again, I will. But... probably not... he did have a really nice smile though. lol
So that's the part where I feel weird... that whole situation is still in my head- honestly, I have not been hit on or shown interest by a guy like that in a LONG time... we're talking years. Yes, I was very flattered... so.. whatever. I'll get over it. The nostalgic part... for some reason yesterday I really started to miss Florida a lot... particularly Leah. And I keep thinking about the day I left when her MOM started crying.. she told my mom to keep in really close touch with Dr. Fenton and Dr. Thomas and look into me transferring in a year... which probably won't happen bc I've gotten attached to Converse... but Leah's mom just cried.. she told my mom how much she had looked forward to me being part of their family and coming to their house on the weekends.. and she said that Leah needed me there.. it's really hard for me to get over that. I mean really- Leah's basically my sister... and probably as much as she needs me, I need her.. if for nothing else, then to keep each other sane.. and everything else that sisters/best friends need each other for. But anyway. I miss her a lot... I'm not so choked up about not being at FSU... just the fact that Leah's there and I'm here. *sobs*
Anyway. I'm supposed to be going to see John Tucker Must Die this afternoon with some girls, so hopefully that'll get me in a better mood... we'll see. So... I'm gonna go.. and do pilates or take a shower or something.. or both.
♥