Today I paid my Victoria's Secret bill, finally finishing off my store credit cards. Now I can really get to work on lowering my Citibank card balance. I didn't expect to still be in so much debt at the close of this summer, but unforeseen circumstances and compulsive shopping made it impossible. I will still pat myself on the back for not owing Gap, VS, New York & Co., or American Eagle any more of my cash.
Tomorrow is my last day at Cafe Botanica, and it's a double. I'm going to be the nicest waitress ever and see if I can set a tip record. Too bad the whole staff splits to total, which makes the battle into a war.
Tonight Pablo made us Fritto Misto during dinner service and even though I absolutely skeeve fried things, I gave into the goodness of fried shrimp and spicy calamari. I also had french toast at IHOP for lunch. Dare I say, it was worth the binge. I think I deserve it anyway though since I've lost another four pounds in the last two weeks.
I think the eating today was emotionally motivated. I miss Andrew and I'm really worried. Already. Again.
My camera, which was still recovering from an unfortunate accident with the ocean, has disappeared inside my house. Maybe it's in hibernation until it dries out completely? Maybe I put it someplace I wouldn't have to see it so I wouldn't get depressed about the mishap. Either way, I want to find it, bad.
I am headed out to Coldstone to see all the kids and wish Louie a happy retirement. Then I am going to pack and wash clothes late into the night. It's possible I'll get an iced coffee to help. I have been feeling quite sallow and disheartened since the end of July, but I've valiantly fought off showing it to anyone. A weird thing about me is how hard it is to share what I'm feeling instead of giving it to acting the way I think I should be acting. It's like I just want the way I feel to be mine and for no one else to get it.
My writer's block is over. I sang it out on the service road on my way to work during this afternoon's drizzling. I feel the poetry flowing back into my blood. I needed a break, to do some revisions -- on my life. Now I will be better. That might sound nuts, but I know it.
Come to think of it. My instincts are still better than anyone's I know. Maybe I can listen to them this semester.