Adjusting
It's 7 AM, and I've already made breakfast, fed the dog, cleaned the kitchen, and am just enjoying a bit of coffee before heading off to the shower. I never, ever thought I would be a morning person... I don't think I am in reality now, but with a dog that wakes me at 6 AM sharp every morning and a boy that is awake when I return, there's very little to do about it. Even when I was in school and had to be up at 6:30 every morning, there was always that option of staying in bed and skipping the class (not the wisest option, but still an option). Now, there is no option. My sleeping patterns are dictated by my little knight. If he is awake, I must be as well, no choice. I accept this some mornings more graciously than others.
I'm struggling with the distance now between my lover and me. I miss him. When we were discussing the distance, he said that distance didn't matter; I think he was mistaken. When I hear from him everyday, it stings less, but now that circumstances prevent him from communicating with me for days at a time, my heart is breaking. There's an inescapable feeling of emptiness about the house and in my chest. He ought to be here. But neither of us can just pack up and move to the other person--I have a baby and he has his family that needs him. It feel as though we've come to a stalemate, and I hate that feeling. I fear if we don't do something soon, this arrangement will become permanent. And distance does matter.
I'm struggling with the distance now between my lover and me. I miss him. When we were discussing the distance, he said that distance didn't matter; I think he was mistaken. When I hear from him everyday, it stings less, but now that circumstances prevent him from communicating with me for days at a time, my heart is breaking. There's an inescapable feeling of emptiness about the house and in my chest. He ought to be here. But neither of us can just pack up and move to the other person--I have a baby and he has his family that needs him. It feel as though we've come to a stalemate, and I hate that feeling. I fear if we don't do something soon, this arrangement will become permanent. And distance does matter.