So close i can taste it...but ill never reach my American Dream

[mercychicita511]

Lately i've been feeling so discouraged and i don't really want to put any effort into anything i do. It's sad because i have my work cut out for me next year and im getting scared that i made a mistake in having Mr. Osecker and Mrs. Rinaldini sign me into the science courses that i wanted to take...but now im not so sure. I have this fear that my life can/is/will crumble before me and i will never reach my goal in life and never be who i want to be....i hope this never happens and i hope i become who i want...but im afraid...i want a break for once, i want to be like the people that don't do shit and just sit back and get good grades...but that isn't me, and i kno that if i want to succeed that i can't just sit back and hope that i will get the grades that i want, it may not matter to those people, but it does to me...im just so burned out from all of the work and ive become a slacker...i don't want to because the second half of Junior Year is what colleges focus the most on...there's the fear...of the crumble..........what if i don't get into college.....wait i don't even know where i want to go and what i want to go for...i want to become a pediatric surgeon...but how do i go about getting there? i kno that i have to first go through pre-med but practically EVERY college overs a pre-med program...so where do i want to go???? i just can't handle this anymore..i want to cry and ive been extra crabby lately and im srry if ive angered anyone or have gotten annoying, im just stressed and tired...im sorry.

School sucks...people suck...LIFE sucks....

Love all...Ash

<3 you babie! <3