On the losing end
I don't know what to do, I'm seriously at a loss. Since the blog I posted about what had happened with Sean wanting to take me to court thing... it's died down. He's now talking about putting money away for a car and then for us to get a place together. I think he's come to realize that there's nothing he can do to get me to move back. I went over there last weekend, and there were a few things that happened with his family that proved that our son can't live there. Not to mention his sister tried to TELL ME that I was in fact moving back. I of course went into bitch mode and set her straight.... I do however think she still has it in her mind that I'm moving back. Fat Chance.
Back to where I feel like I'm losing. My mom was not at all happy that I went over there last weekend. All hell broke lose when I got home. My mom is still pissed off at Sean for the argument they had, and now she's even more pissed off that Sean didn't give me any money when he got his first pay check. Now I would have been pissed off too, however, His first check was not very big and he needed to get a bus pass. He can't quite put $100 in my hand like he said he would if he has no way of getting to and from work. My dad was the only one who seemed to understand. She then demanded that he's not allowed in the house until he apologizes and puts money in my hand. Mind you, this was last sunday she said this, Sean only gets paid every other week... he doesn't get his next check until tomorrow.... that's right, I haven't seen him since last Sunday. I haven't however told him what my mom said.. I'm too scared to. I know he'll yell and scream, and I'll feel like the bad guy. Then he'll start in on how I need to move back.
Then the shit hits the fan again this past sunday. We were over at my grandparents house and my grandma asks if Sean is coming for Christmas eve. I said I think so and then it happens. Mom flips out again. Apparently she had no intentions of being anywhere near Sean for a long time, which includes holidays... Sean is now not allowed to come over for christmas eve or christmas... again, I haven't told him yet... It's going to break his heart, and make him angry. I don't know what to do. Mom claims that she wants me to be happy... but how can I be happy if she's more or less preventing me from seeing Sean on Christmas? It's CHRISTMAS for fucks sake. Sure I can go over to Sean's on christmas eve after my grandparents and stay the night, and then come back home christmas afternoon to go to Gram's.... sure, no big deal... mom won't like it, but she doesn't care if I go over there that night.... they however will not drop me off nor will they pick me up. So I have no way of getting over there. I could possibly get someone to drop me off over there, but how the hell am I going to convince someone to pick me up on Christmas day to bring me back to my parents house?
This is suppose to be my favorite holiday and it's falling apart. My life is falling apart. It's getting closer and closer and I still need to tell him, but I'm scared to. And then when I mentioned to him yesterday that I might not have a way out to his house for Christmas, he instantly got angry with me "Fine, then don't come." He keeps making it look like it's all my fault. It's not like I can force someone to take me over there. I know that I should have a car and my license, I fucked that up a while ago... but that doesn't mean that he needs to take it out on me.
I don't know what to do.... I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Back to where I feel like I'm losing. My mom was not at all happy that I went over there last weekend. All hell broke lose when I got home. My mom is still pissed off at Sean for the argument they had, and now she's even more pissed off that Sean didn't give me any money when he got his first pay check. Now I would have been pissed off too, however, His first check was not very big and he needed to get a bus pass. He can't quite put $100 in my hand like he said he would if he has no way of getting to and from work. My dad was the only one who seemed to understand. She then demanded that he's not allowed in the house until he apologizes and puts money in my hand. Mind you, this was last sunday she said this, Sean only gets paid every other week... he doesn't get his next check until tomorrow.... that's right, I haven't seen him since last Sunday. I haven't however told him what my mom said.. I'm too scared to. I know he'll yell and scream, and I'll feel like the bad guy. Then he'll start in on how I need to move back.
Then the shit hits the fan again this past sunday. We were over at my grandparents house and my grandma asks if Sean is coming for Christmas eve. I said I think so and then it happens. Mom flips out again. Apparently she had no intentions of being anywhere near Sean for a long time, which includes holidays... Sean is now not allowed to come over for christmas eve or christmas... again, I haven't told him yet... It's going to break his heart, and make him angry. I don't know what to do. Mom claims that she wants me to be happy... but how can I be happy if she's more or less preventing me from seeing Sean on Christmas? It's CHRISTMAS for fucks sake. Sure I can go over to Sean's on christmas eve after my grandparents and stay the night, and then come back home christmas afternoon to go to Gram's.... sure, no big deal... mom won't like it, but she doesn't care if I go over there that night.... they however will not drop me off nor will they pick me up. So I have no way of getting over there. I could possibly get someone to drop me off over there, but how the hell am I going to convince someone to pick me up on Christmas day to bring me back to my parents house?
This is suppose to be my favorite holiday and it's falling apart. My life is falling apart. It's getting closer and closer and I still need to tell him, but I'm scared to. And then when I mentioned to him yesterday that I might not have a way out to his house for Christmas, he instantly got angry with me "Fine, then don't come." He keeps making it look like it's all my fault. It's not like I can force someone to take me over there. I know that I should have a car and my license, I fucked that up a while ago... but that doesn't mean that he needs to take it out on me.
I don't know what to do.... I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.