Speak my language!
My friend shared this article that her friend wrote a few years ago that was featured in The New University, a news paper at the University of California, Irvine. This guy cracks my shit up. Reminds me of that one episode of "BULLSHIT" where they talked about profanity and freedom of speech. Personally, I love to cuss my head off. It just feels so good sometimes. Some people might be offended, and if I care about them and they express that to me, I accommodate. But for random people I could give a flying fuck about, well...you know. ;) But check this out of you're looking for a great fucking laugh!
Exposing the Hypocrisy Behind ‘Fucking’by: AbelG.Pena
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What goddamn era am I living in? Just the other day, I was having
a conversation with a guy, I’ll call him Joe Blow, and while discussing
the merits of the fuck scene in “Monster’s Ball,” he had the audacity to
tell me, “Can you please not use those words,” referring to my use of
four-letter words.
With that, this motherfucker sealed his doom.
I asked him what terms specifically he was referring to. It was
entertaining to hear him explain what words he meant when he himself
couldn’t say them. Idiot.
Another example. I was told by a lady-friend of mine, I’ll call her Jane
Blow, that cussing, and especially the use of the F-word, is not
lady-like, to which I reminded her that neither is getting on one’s knees
and stuffing an erect penis into one’s mouth, but I didn’t see her having
much of a problem with that.
However, easily worse than adjectively-impotent Joe and my friend who
doesn’t mind letting dick come out of her mouth but doesn’t have so much
trouble letting it in are the people that have adopted what I’ll call
conditional cussing, i.e., they want to let loose a riptide of curses, but
because cussing is bad, these silly fuckers instead use pathetic
substitutes like freak, shoot, or dang. And if somebody says “darn,” you
just have to put that poor bastard out of his or her misery.
Or how about these folks that substitute English expletives for those in a
foreign tongue. Shebal, jendeh, and pendejo rough equivalents of
shit, bitch and asshole in Korean, Farsi and Spanish seem to be okay
so long as they can perform some type of immediate disassociation between
the word and its true meaning, or use some other psychological trick to
justify their hypocrisy.
So, what is it exactly that people find offensive-the sound of the word?
Saying “shit” in an exotic tongue suddenly makes it holy shit? How petty.
I once asked a couple of girls, vooleh voo se manasha tua? (phonetic
spelling). They both agreed that my French was beautiful. However, they
were significantly put off when I explained to them I’d just asked if
they’d both like to jump in bed with me.
Who the hell are you trying to fool, Joe Blow, yourself? You think that
just because you change the sounds that come out of your mouth that your
intent is any different? You say freakin-a when what you mean and lust to
say is fuck!
But instead you keep it in like when the urge to fart hits you during
class. But there’s no holding it indefinitely, and you hear it squeeze out
your clenched buttcheeks sounding like a kazoo. You embarrass yourself
when you speak your pale versions of fuck, shit and damn. You censor
yourself because you’re too pussy to say what you really want to, and
that’s why I don’t respect you, and why I’m talking to you like I’m
talking to you now. Bitch.
You don’t have to cuss to be a man, Joey says. Alright, Joey, I’ll grant
that. But would you agree that a person should be versed in practicality,
in how to get by in the real world? Of course you do, unless you plan on
living in a dream.
Now, do you remember that one time you were punked like the dumb ass you
are because your wit wasn’t quick and the only “Dickhead!” you could get
out of your mouth was the figurative one you found yourself sucking on? It
left a bad taste, didn’t it.
And then you had two options: (1) you could learn how to keep it from
happening again by learning how to play derogatory joust, or (2) you could
run away and hope you wouldn’t come across it again. But Joey, you can’t
run forever, my expletive virgin! Your exposure to this article now proves
it.
You chose to run. And that’s why the nuts hanging on your chin right now
are mine. But maybe you like the cock, in which case, cheers!
Yet, even if you don’t mind getting verbally raped, that still does not
diminish the good cussing does in relieving tension. Nothing feels as good
as a good “fuck” except maybe the real thing. A good “shit!” leaves you
feeling as relieved as when you actually take one.
Shit, fuck and dick are just sounds. They’ve been designed with the
express purpose of relieving that pent up frustration and tension that is
an unavoidable part of our culture. And ignorant people like Joe Blow
would want to take away the right to use them to that end.
The way the word fuck started out was as a legitimate Saxon term for
sexual intercourse. But it’s the shame or badness that we’ve attached to
the idea of sex that has turned this great word into something taboo. And
yet, that is precisely why it feels so good to say, isn’t it?
Look at the legacy of the word retard. The word has always only been a
noun used to refer to a person of degenerate mental capacity. But as time
passed, the word began to carry a disparaging connotation, so we created
the phrase mentally challenged (try not to snicker). It’s taken us a
while, but now this, too, has picked up a negative connotation.
Is anyone really surprised? It’s we who’ve added the negative connotation
to retard and mentally challenged as their definitions gradually
infiltrate the public consciousness and we realize what the words actually
mean. What we find offensive is not the word, or even the sound, but we
are ashamed of these undeniable aspects of who we are, of humanity.
We try to pretend that there aren’t people inherently stupid, to keep
fucking and dicksucking to our bedrooms and crapping behind closed doors
so that no one can see us looking at how big our turds are when we’re
through.
How pathetic.
No Joey, we shouldn’t cuss to feel like men, but be man enough to cuss
when we feel like it. And unlike Jane, we should either act fully like
ladies, or redefine the qualification for being one. And if they don’t
like those options, they can blow me.
Exposing the Hypocrisy Behind ‘Fucking’by: AbelG.Pena
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What goddamn era am I living in? Just the other day, I was having
a conversation with a guy, I’ll call him Joe Blow, and while discussing
the merits of the fuck scene in “Monster’s Ball,” he had the audacity to
tell me, “Can you please not use those words,” referring to my use of
four-letter words.
With that, this motherfucker sealed his doom.
I asked him what terms specifically he was referring to. It was
entertaining to hear him explain what words he meant when he himself
couldn’t say them. Idiot.
Another example. I was told by a lady-friend of mine, I’ll call her Jane
Blow, that cussing, and especially the use of the F-word, is not
lady-like, to which I reminded her that neither is getting on one’s knees
and stuffing an erect penis into one’s mouth, but I didn’t see her having
much of a problem with that.
However, easily worse than adjectively-impotent Joe and my friend who
doesn’t mind letting dick come out of her mouth but doesn’t have so much
trouble letting it in are the people that have adopted what I’ll call
conditional cussing, i.e., they want to let loose a riptide of curses, but
because cussing is bad, these silly fuckers instead use pathetic
substitutes like freak, shoot, or dang. And if somebody says “darn,” you
just have to put that poor bastard out of his or her misery.
Or how about these folks that substitute English expletives for those in a
foreign tongue. Shebal, jendeh, and pendejo rough equivalents of
shit, bitch and asshole in Korean, Farsi and Spanish seem to be okay
so long as they can perform some type of immediate disassociation between
the word and its true meaning, or use some other psychological trick to
justify their hypocrisy.
So, what is it exactly that people find offensive-the sound of the word?
Saying “shit” in an exotic tongue suddenly makes it holy shit? How petty.
I once asked a couple of girls, vooleh voo se manasha tua? (phonetic
spelling). They both agreed that my French was beautiful. However, they
were significantly put off when I explained to them I’d just asked if
they’d both like to jump in bed with me.
Who the hell are you trying to fool, Joe Blow, yourself? You think that
just because you change the sounds that come out of your mouth that your
intent is any different? You say freakin-a when what you mean and lust to
say is fuck!
But instead you keep it in like when the urge to fart hits you during
class. But there’s no holding it indefinitely, and you hear it squeeze out
your clenched buttcheeks sounding like a kazoo. You embarrass yourself
when you speak your pale versions of fuck, shit and damn. You censor
yourself because you’re too pussy to say what you really want to, and
that’s why I don’t respect you, and why I’m talking to you like I’m
talking to you now. Bitch.
You don’t have to cuss to be a man, Joey says. Alright, Joey, I’ll grant
that. But would you agree that a person should be versed in practicality,
in how to get by in the real world? Of course you do, unless you plan on
living in a dream.
Now, do you remember that one time you were punked like the dumb ass you
are because your wit wasn’t quick and the only “Dickhead!” you could get
out of your mouth was the figurative one you found yourself sucking on? It
left a bad taste, didn’t it.
And then you had two options: (1) you could learn how to keep it from
happening again by learning how to play derogatory joust, or (2) you could
run away and hope you wouldn’t come across it again. But Joey, you can’t
run forever, my expletive virgin! Your exposure to this article now proves
it.
You chose to run. And that’s why the nuts hanging on your chin right now
are mine. But maybe you like the cock, in which case, cheers!
Yet, even if you don’t mind getting verbally raped, that still does not
diminish the good cussing does in relieving tension. Nothing feels as good
as a good “fuck” except maybe the real thing. A good “shit!” leaves you
feeling as relieved as when you actually take one.
Shit, fuck and dick are just sounds. They’ve been designed with the
express purpose of relieving that pent up frustration and tension that is
an unavoidable part of our culture. And ignorant people like Joe Blow
would want to take away the right to use them to that end.
The way the word fuck started out was as a legitimate Saxon term for
sexual intercourse. But it’s the shame or badness that we’ve attached to
the idea of sex that has turned this great word into something taboo. And
yet, that is precisely why it feels so good to say, isn’t it?
Look at the legacy of the word retard. The word has always only been a
noun used to refer to a person of degenerate mental capacity. But as time
passed, the word began to carry a disparaging connotation, so we created
the phrase mentally challenged (try not to snicker). It’s taken us a
while, but now this, too, has picked up a negative connotation.
Is anyone really surprised? It’s we who’ve added the negative connotation
to retard and mentally challenged as their definitions gradually
infiltrate the public consciousness and we realize what the words actually
mean. What we find offensive is not the word, or even the sound, but we
are ashamed of these undeniable aspects of who we are, of humanity.
We try to pretend that there aren’t people inherently stupid, to keep
fucking and dicksucking to our bedrooms and crapping behind closed doors
so that no one can see us looking at how big our turds are when we’re
through.
How pathetic.
No Joey, we shouldn’t cuss to feel like men, but be man enough to cuss
when we feel like it. And unlike Jane, we should either act fully like
ladies, or redefine the qualification for being one. And if they don’t
like those options, they can blow me.