dream of death
i was a warrior for a force. at first i did my job blindly, drunk with power. i didn't think i would actually be killing people and watching them die before me. we were raiding an apartment building. i did so many horrible things. at one point i remember pretending to be a refugee with them, escaping through a window by jumping onto the rooftop below it. i beckoned to them to follow me to salvation, maybe we could run around the corner and avoid the enemy. as soon as the people started pouring out i called the forces toward me and with laser blasts they were all destroyed and ripped apart. i saw a little girl get ripped in two and something in me snapped. i protected a little girl once. and for what? then seeing the slaughter...i thought, how could this be? this is awful. but i did many more things because i could not escape. at one time i was riding with a legion, atop a huge black stallion. they were simple peasant folk, but because they would not submit to our rule, they must be slaughtered, all of them- to set an example. i rode ahead, making them think i wanted to be the first to spill blood. but i was riding and saying as loud as i dared, "run! leave! they're coming to kill you! there's more of me! leave while you can, run for god's sake!" they stared at me dumbfounded, or continued with their daily chores, disbelieving. and no matter how much i rode or yelled the legion came, and decimated everyone in its path.
we occupied that same apartment building and began a school there. they called me into the class to show the glories of war. a video showing me as a hero with all the things i've done was put on. killing, killing. even the time with the little girl. and i had to smile and pretend i was proud. these kids were already jaded. and now they were being fed offal as well. i had to wonder how many of these children were our spoils of war. a young lad snirked, saying he could probably do better, even though the rest had eyes wet with awe from seeing all the destruction. i told him, "little man, i'd best keep my mouth shut. i've seen more horror than you can imagine, and i'd be damned if you could pick up a sword and kill someone right in front of you." i had to keep up the charade of the swaggering war idiot, but good god i just wanted to go away from here and never kill anyone again. but i wouldn't know where to run if i could leave without being killed as well.
we occupied that same apartment building and began a school there. they called me into the class to show the glories of war. a video showing me as a hero with all the things i've done was put on. killing, killing. even the time with the little girl. and i had to smile and pretend i was proud. these kids were already jaded. and now they were being fed offal as well. i had to wonder how many of these children were our spoils of war. a young lad snirked, saying he could probably do better, even though the rest had eyes wet with awe from seeing all the destruction. i told him, "little man, i'd best keep my mouth shut. i've seen more horror than you can imagine, and i'd be damned if you could pick up a sword and kill someone right in front of you." i had to keep up the charade of the swaggering war idiot, but good god i just wanted to go away from here and never kill anyone again. but i wouldn't know where to run if i could leave without being killed as well.