I'mma do the things that I wanna do
adflahdf;aldhf; This chapter made me go OMGWTFBBQ, considering that I just, and I mean just started writing this--yes, believe it--Shikamura/Kurenai brainworm that leapt into my head upon rereading that one scene from like fifty chapters ago.
Part of me is like, YES, VALIDATED! but actually I'm kind of peeved because here I thought I was making this brilliant, read-between-the-lines leap from canon and now it just looks far too obvious.
wth, Kishimoto. Get out of my heeead. >:O
In other news, if I didn't already know I was premenstrual, I would start to suspect it after the display of waterworks this weekend. I'm feeling very leaky--good and bad emotions, everything makes me want to cry. First I cried because I was sitting in my apartment by myself on a Saturday evening feeling friendless and singularly unfriendable; then I cried because people said incredibly nice things to me. I cried and cried and couldn't stop. I felt so grateful and wished so hard to someday be able to do credit to my friends' belief in me by believing it myself.
Shit, I'm crying now. See? LEAKY. Drip, drip, drip.
Also: foreverdirt made a post of win, part of which was a link to this video: Weezer, "Pork and Beans". Not only am I completely addicted to this song now, I'm finding it strangely inspirational--to the point that, yeah, it made me cry a little bit, too. I'm clinging to the lyrics like an anthem--though my defiance is directed less at the outside world and more at the part of myself that produces negative thoughts and pressure ("I ain't got a thing to prove to you", shouted at the top of my lungs).
I'm not dandy with the me inside, of course--that's maybe the one big thing I've realized about myself in the last couple of years--but this song reminds me that that's where I want to be. And the sheer cheerful dorkiness of the video--a bunch of people making good music and just doing their respective things--makes me think that maybe I can get there.
In sum: THANK YOU, INTERNET. You make things so much less crappy than they would be otherwise.