(no subject)
My Tita Maryann passed away about two hours ago. It was not unexpected - she had colon cancer - and she went pretty peacefully, all things considered.
My Tita Maryann was, like most Filipinos, raised Catholic. At some point in College she told me she'd gotten into witchcraft and divination, like a lot of people in college tend to do. Apparently, she was pretty into it until she met my mom. My mom was a fairly devout Christian earlier on in her marriage to my father, and it was through meeting my mom and getting close to her that my tita converted to Protestantism, and afterwards converted her husband, my Tito Gabby, as well. Later on, when my mom and dad's marriage started to fail, most of her fellow congregation members and church counselors brushed her feelings of unhappiness in her marriage aside, saying that it was all a "test". In the end, my mom lost a lot of her faith in God and her religion; My Tita MaryAnn on the other hand, just became more and more devout and entrenched in her religion, and quite happily so.
Before my Tita and her family moved to California, our branches of the family were very close, and even after they moved, the bond remained strong between the cousins. When we first moved to Seattle my sister and I lived with my Aunt Maryann's family in California for a couple months. Though that "visit" wasn't necessarily the happiest one, what with the adjustment of moving and the adjustment of living in their uber-Christian household. But it was during that time that my Aunt Maryann and I had our few and yet memorable "adult" conversations, where we discussed religion and our differences of opinion on it...
There were two things that really struck me about my Aunt. The first was the absolute faith and conviction she held in God and her religion, a trait which is entirely foreign to me. The second that despite her conviction, despite the fact that our beliefs did not coincide and despite making it very clear that she believed my lack of faith and reverence for organized religion, and my then-dabblings with the occult was putting my soul in jeopardy, she never made me feel as though she loved me any less, nor did I ever feel judged by her.
Even throughout her illness, she had absolute faith that this was all part of God's plan, up through the moment of her death. Last night they knew they had hit a turning point as she was deteriorating rapidly, but she was lucid enough to hug and kiss her children and husband goodbye, so although my cousins are grieving they are at peace with her death. And I believe that she is at peace as well.
I knew when I saw her this past Christmas it would be the last time, and apart from feeling sorrow I'm ok. The wake is this Saturday, the funeral on Monday. I'm flying out to be with them Friday at noon, coming back Sunday evening, coz we have our second AER coming up on Wednesday and I need to be here to get work crap squared away.
Suffice to say this has been a really hectic, jarring week.
My Tita Maryann was, like most Filipinos, raised Catholic. At some point in College she told me she'd gotten into witchcraft and divination, like a lot of people in college tend to do. Apparently, she was pretty into it until she met my mom. My mom was a fairly devout Christian earlier on in her marriage to my father, and it was through meeting my mom and getting close to her that my tita converted to Protestantism, and afterwards converted her husband, my Tito Gabby, as well. Later on, when my mom and dad's marriage started to fail, most of her fellow congregation members and church counselors brushed her feelings of unhappiness in her marriage aside, saying that it was all a "test". In the end, my mom lost a lot of her faith in God and her religion; My Tita MaryAnn on the other hand, just became more and more devout and entrenched in her religion, and quite happily so.
Before my Tita and her family moved to California, our branches of the family were very close, and even after they moved, the bond remained strong between the cousins. When we first moved to Seattle my sister and I lived with my Aunt Maryann's family in California for a couple months. Though that "visit" wasn't necessarily the happiest one, what with the adjustment of moving and the adjustment of living in their uber-Christian household. But it was during that time that my Aunt Maryann and I had our few and yet memorable "adult" conversations, where we discussed religion and our differences of opinion on it...
There were two things that really struck me about my Aunt. The first was the absolute faith and conviction she held in God and her religion, a trait which is entirely foreign to me. The second that despite her conviction, despite the fact that our beliefs did not coincide and despite making it very clear that she believed my lack of faith and reverence for organized religion, and my then-dabblings with the occult was putting my soul in jeopardy, she never made me feel as though she loved me any less, nor did I ever feel judged by her.
Even throughout her illness, she had absolute faith that this was all part of God's plan, up through the moment of her death. Last night they knew they had hit a turning point as she was deteriorating rapidly, but she was lucid enough to hug and kiss her children and husband goodbye, so although my cousins are grieving they are at peace with her death. And I believe that she is at peace as well.
I knew when I saw her this past Christmas it would be the last time, and apart from feeling sorrow I'm ok. The wake is this Saturday, the funeral on Monday. I'm flying out to be with them Friday at noon, coming back Sunday evening, coz we have our second AER coming up on Wednesday and I need to be here to get work crap squared away.
Suffice to say this has been a really hectic, jarring week.