[ OKHC ] The Lights of Stars - Oneshot
Title: The Lights of Stars
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6280
Pairings: Hikaru x Kaoru, mentionings of Hikaru x Haruhi and Kyouya x Kaoru
Warnings: Explicit sex, incest, language, kind of stupidly fluffy at parts, maybe-angst and italics abuse.This fic has not been beta’d, so watch out for awkward writing.
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru resolve their differences and conclusions are maybe-reached.
Author’s Notes: This is a continuation-thing of Reaching for Moonlight. I suppose one could read it without reading the other, but it’d probably make more sense if that was read first.
-----
The Lights of Stars
“No one sees what is before his feet: we all gaze at the stars.”
- Cicero
-----
When Hikaru woke up the next morning, Kaoru was not beside him. He felt a little awkward as he remembered what had happened just that night and assumed Kaoru simply was embarrassed. But when his twin came back from the shower, he didn’t look at Hikaru and simply picked out a clean uniform and put it on. The older boy opened his mouth to say something belatedly but was faced with the gently closing door before he could. Hikaru supposed that it made things less awkward for the first two or three hours of the day, before tension began mounting. But Kaoru went about his day as if nothing was wrong and that they hadn’t finally broken their brotherly love taboo just the night before.
And later that night when Kaoru crawled into bed with him, Hikaru put a hand on his twin’s clothed hip and edged a little closer. Kaoru turned around to face away from him in what was perhaps a sleepy daze. But Hikaru was determined and let the hand move upward to the skin of his brother’s bare waist, but Kaoru did not even flinch and he finally removed his hand.
Hikaru loved his brother. But sometimes, Kaoru really irritated him. His dearest twin didn’t know that pretending didn’t make things better, and that no matter how hard he acted that nothing had happened, it would never change the fact that something did.
-----
Five weeks later, Kaoru was still poignantly feigning obliviousness. Hikaru never brought it up because he didn’t want it to sound forced, and he didn’t want to face the onslaught of awkwardness that undoubtedly would ensue. So time slipped through his long, white fingers, and Kaoru smiled and carried on.
It wasn’t that Kaoru was acting distant. Quite the contrary, he went about his day as usual and treated-or, tried to treat-Hikaru like he always did. But it was detached somehow and for some reason or another, Kaoru didn’t keep eye contact when he should have. He didn’t touch his shoulder anymore. He didn’t laugh and grin as much. And it was as if Hikaru had never laid a hand on Kaoru’s body that night, and it was as if Kyouya never tarnished his pretty skin with that blasphemously methodical tongue, and it was as if their confrontation regarding Haruhi had never transpired.
Of course, they both were terrific actors, so it was probable that the Host Club members couldn’t detect the changes between them when they acted for their designations: the way that Hikaru’s cheeks sometimes tinted a bit too when Kaoru was so close to his face and the small shudder that ran through Kaoru’s body when Hikaru’s breath caressed his lips.
But of course, five weeks was a long time, and Fujioka Haruhi was a woman. So of course she had to notice something.
“Hikaru.”
The twin in question wasn’t paying attention and was, rather, watching Kaoru talk to Kyouya rather casually about something or another. He wasn’t paying attention because Kyouya would be castrated rather brutally if his filthy hand made it onto Kaoru’s perfect skin once more.
“Hikaru.”
Hikaru grudgingly glanced over at a slightly insistent Haruhi and let out a noncommittal noise that could have been interpreted as a conceder of attention (or as a disinterested suggestion to leave, or as a purely out-of-the-blue grunt, and Hikaru never specified which it was). The dark-haired girl let out a small sigh of exasperation, before looking at him seriously.
“I just wanted to talk to you about Kaoru for a moment.”
That seemed to be enough to capture Hikaru’s attention, because his head snapped toward the girl and he looked at her with as much attention as he was willing to give to her.
“What about Kaoru?”
“Well,” Haruhi took a deep breath, not seeming entirely surprised that the mention of Kaoru’s name could distill such a reaction. “You two seem a little different lately.”
“That means nothing to me.”
Drawling indifference was threatening to blossom onto the redhead’s face. Haruhi should have known that subtlety wouldn’t get her anywhere, because Hikaru’s eyebrow arched impatiently.
“What I mean is,” Haruhi pressed, frowning as she took a seat next to him at the coffee table he was currently perched at, “you two are acting as if you’ve had a falling-out of sorts.”
“A falling-out?” Hikaru asked with incredulous annoyance. “Nothing like that has happened, Haruhi. It’s not your business.”
Haruhi simply frowned, and Hikaru did too.
“Something doesn’t sit right between you two. You don’t seem to be at ease when you speak with one another. You didn’t sit with Kaoru during assembly last week.”
“So what?” Hikaru growled and what little patience he had was waning. “We don’t have to sit together all the time, Haruhi.”
“You don’t have to, but you do,” she insisted, brows knitting. “You do anyway. You’re inseparable. Hikaru, you don’t have to tell me what happened between you two, but you should try to patch things up with him. He’s always looking at you when he thinks you’re not watching-”
“No he’s not,” Hikaru interjected without thinking. For some reason, those last words sounded oddly familiar, and he let his amber eyes drift toward his twin.
Kaoru was leaned up casually against a wall, his arms crossed about his chest and a look of marginal attention dancing above his face. He didn’t seem to be sending any covert sexual messages to Kyouya, who seemed just as disengaged as Tamaki interjected in their incurious exchange with some comment that caused Kaoru to raise an eyebrow and Kyouya’s glasses to glint ominously. Hikaru turned away roughly and missed the quick glance that Kaoru shot in his direction.
“What do you mean, he’s not?” Haruhi gave him a look. “He just did.”
The older twin found his mood decaying further and he could only scowl and turn away from the girl as to prevent any annoyed outbursts that he would later regret.
“Shut up,” he growled, “it’s none of your business. So stay out of it. Why do you care?”
Haruhi probably knew better than to be offended, it seemed, because she did not look the least bit hurt. Hikaru had turned his face away and gave a small start when he felt Haruhi’s soft hand on his shoulder. He turned to her, that annoyance still painted upon his face.
“Well,” Haruhi started, her face soft with a smile, “we’re friends, right? All three of us? Friends don’t like to see friends sad.”
The redhead found words unable to slip past his usually quick, vivacious mouth, and for some reason he couldn’t quite place his finger upon-he assumed it had to do with the stuffy weather-he found his cheeks turning pink. For lack of a better reaction, Hikaru quickly turned back away from her in a gruff fashion and mumbled something under his breath that neither he nor Haruhi heard.
Haruhi removed her hand and said nothing else when Hikaru did nothing else, and the older twin heard her footsteps sound farther and farther away. Hikaru remained in silence, his amber eyes as glass, and his gaze occasionally drifting to his left where he knew his twin was standing, his thin arms crossed, and his small white mouth turned down in nonchalance. He instantly remembered Kaoru’s pretty smile, and the thought made some irresponsibly needy, possessive feeling churn in his gut and he looked back at his brother before he could stop himself.
He never actually remembered what it was that he saw, but he remembered something white that made him think of a graceful hand extending in his brother’s direction. He maybe-saw fingertips upturned, heading perhaps for Kaoru’s shoulder, or his neck, or his face-and he knew that it was Kyouya, and he didn’t bother to wait for anything to be said or done, and that unchained fury spewed forth, and that possessive, carnal feeling rose up from beneath his white, prickly skin-
Hikaru wasn’t really aware of anything after that-other than what may have sounded like Kaoru shouting his name-and when he came back to his senses, he was standing, his posture offensive, and his knuckles were hurting a little and his nails digging into the flesh of his palm. Kyouya was on the floor, his back pushed against a wall. The clipboard had let out a deafening clatter as it hit the floor and perhaps there had been a tinkle of something delicate breaking, and Hikaru looked down and Kyouya’s glasses lay cleanly broken beside that offending hand. He felt his body go numb.
The Host Club was silent, and the girls only stared, and there were too many eyes on his cold skin. There was a trickle of blood spilling from Kyouya’s nose, and it was Tamaki that took the initiative and helped Kyouya up, picking up his clipboard and broken glasses, offering him a tissue and asking him if he needed to see the nurse. He did not look at Hikaru, and that very fact made the boy clench his teeth and look at where that clipboard had hit the ground.
He could sense Kaoru’s hesitant presence, but he could not see his face. He did not think anymore and he automatically turned on his heels and ran. He was only dimly aware of Kaoru’s voice calling; he knew that his brother was following him, and that was when he was ashamed.
-----
There was no running from Kaoru, but his legs would not stop. There was nowhere to go, but out of the corner of his golden eye he could see the lights turned off in a classroom and he knew that it was empty. He came to a halt in front of the doorknob, turned, and slipped inside, his back pressing up against the door. It was only a matter of time before he felt the vibrations of someone jiggling the handle and trying to open the door. He didn’t need to hear a voice to know who it was.
“Hikaru!”
Kaoru’s voice was earnest and perhaps more honest than it had been in the last couple of weeks. Hikaru felt his lips part and he forced discouraging words to come forth from between them, though in the end all he could utter was his brother’s name.
“Kaoru.”
“Open the door, Hikaru.”
“No.”
“Hikaru!”
Kaoru’s voice sounded not only frustrated, but somehow sympathetic. Hikaru frowned and his hand found its way to the doorknob seemingly of its own accord, before pulling it down and opening it a little. Kaoru slipped in easily, before closing the door himself, and turning to Hikaru. The slightly older boy pursed his lips and put on his most dispassionate face-this was the confrontation that was bound to happen since that day five weeks ago, and he knew that Kaoru knew it too.
“What did you do?”
Kaoru’s voice was exasperated and his brows were knitted. He looked genuinely upset, and he was trying his best to control any annoyance he may have felt. Hikaru glanced over at his brother in seeming nonchalance.
“What did it seem like? I punched Kyouya.”
“Well,” Kaoru started, his voice calm and collected and beautiful. “That’s obvious enough. The two of us were just having an innocent conversation when all of a sudden you lunged forward and dealt him one in the face.”
“Yeah, so?”
“I hope you have a good reason for doing so.” Irritation was definitely there.
“Well, why do you care so much about how I dealt Kyouya one, Kaoru?”
“Let’s not start on this again.”
“It’s a valid question, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t, Hikaru. Stop acting like a child.”
Kaoru sighed as he spoke and Hikaru watched his eyelids lower and it was a pretty and delicate motion as was only fitting of his sweet younger twin. He was well on his way to being fully distracted and the urge to kiss those fragile eyes arose, but his brother’s soft voice broke in once more.
“You know there’s nothing between myself and Kyouya. I already told you that.”
“You didn’t. You avoided the question perfectly the last time I asked by constantly bringing up Haruhi.”
Hikaru watched Kaoru’s eyes dart to the side and away from him, and he recognized that withdrawn defensiveness that settled into his other half once more. The lights were off and shadows danced on his brother’s pale face.
“Haruhi...she…” Kaoru trailed off, and Hikaru did not let him finish.
“She what?” His voice was louder than he previously remembered. “What do you think of me, Kaoru? Do you still think I’m ditching you for some girl?”
“No!” Kaoru’s eyes were barely visible from beneath his lowered eyelashes. “I just-”
“Just what? Thought you’d go fuck everything up for us ahead of time?”
Hikaru knew he was being irrational by not letting Kaoru speak, but he was angry, and more so, he was hurt. He hated being apart from his twin, and it pained him every time Kaoru looked away from him or didn’t smile at him when he should have. The distance between them had grown too much, and Hikaru couldn’t stand it; Kaoru’s detached expression and superficial words had crawled under his skin and gone straight to his heart.
“No, Hikaru! You know that’s not it.” Kaoru’s face was wary and unsmiling. “We’ve gone through this before-”
“But we didn’t go through why you decided to go let Kyouya fuck you.”
Kaoru’s face heated and Hikaru watched his reaction carefully. “I didn’t let him fuck me, Hikaru.”
“You would have.”
His own voice was frigid and his eyes felt deathly. Kaoru hadn’t looked at him even once, and his anger was only growing.
“I wouldn’t have.” Kaoru’s voice was something impenetrable. “I stopped.”
Hikaru felt his fists clench for the second time that day. He found himself shouting again and he didn’t bother to lower his voice.
“You only fucking stopped because you heard me moving, liar!”
“I am not lying!” Kaoru sounded distressed now, though Hikaru couldn’t find it in himself to bother controlling his corrosive demeanor. “I stopped, so what else is there? I didn’t let him fuck me, and rather, I came home and let you do it! What more proof do you want?”
“Oh, so you acknowledge it now? Good, Kaoru, I’m glad I wasn’t just a one-night sort of thing that you couldn’t find it in yourself to remember happened.”
“Hikaru!” Kaoru looked at him, startled, and for some reason, Hikaru felt his heart beating very clearly. “What are you saying?”
“Well, what the fuck was I supposed to think?” Hikaru felt his fist relax and he felt tension release from his shoulders. His voice lowered. “You didn’t even look at me that morning. It was as if you wished it didn’t happen!”
“No...that’s not it at all-” Kaoru’s voice was quiet and Hikaru had to strain his ears to hear it. Their eyes were locked now and Hikaru savored the feeling of Kaoru’s soft gaze.
“Then what is it? Did you think you could somehow erase it?”
“No! I didn’t! It’s just that…” Kaoru’s eyes diverted for a moment, but this time, Hikaru wouldn’t stand for it. He grabbed Kaoru’s face with both hands and jerked it toward him, and he almost enjoyed the look of surprise on his twin’s face.
“Just what? Look at me, Kaoru. I can’t stand you not looking at me,” he breathed, his voice lower now, and quieter. Kaoru’s face softened, and he looked.
“We’re brothers, Hikaru.” Kaoru’s voice was pained, and it startled Hikaru to hear his normally composed twin sound so. “Someday…it’ll have to stop. It can’t go on forever.”
“What-what do you mean, Kaoru…?”
Hikaru leaned forward and his slick forehead pressed against Kaoru’s gently warm one. Their breaths mingled together and Hikaru knew exactly what his twin meant, but he did not want to acknowledge it.
“So I thought that if I stopped it now, it would save us a lot of heartbreak later. So…that’s what I did-tried to do, anyway.”
There was something endearingly coy about Kaoru’s roundabout words, and Hikaru felt his chest ache with a throbbing, dull pain, because Kaoru had always been the more reasonable one between them, and as always, he was right. Hikaru closed his eyes and felt something stinging them from behind. His twin’s gentle voice continued to speak, and Hikaru wanted to open his eyes but couldn’t.
“And so when I thought you liked Haruhi, I thought it would be a good time for us to start to wean ourselves from each other. After all, Hikaru, you can’t truly love someone without first giving your heart to them, and only them, right? So I-”
Kaoru stopped talking abruptly, and Hikaru noticed that his voice had cracked a little right when he did. The older twin felt a growl form in the back of his throat, his eyelids squeezed together tightly. His chest was burning and his tongue and his face were aflame, his heart was pounding savagely against his ribs.
“Kaoru. Idiot-I’ve already given-”
“Don’t!”
Hikaru’s eyes snapped open when he felt soft, gentle fingers touching his mouth to silence him. He didn’t realize how close to his twin’s face he was and he noticed that Kaoru’s eyes were glittering in the dark.
“Kaoru-” Hikaru breathed quietly against his brother’s fingers, but he was cut off once more, those fingers insistently pressing against his lips.
“Don’t say it,” Kaoru whispered, “don’t say it. You always say things like this.”
“But I-”
“No.”
Hikaru only complied with his brother’s wishes when he noted the earnestness etched into Kaoru’s face. His hand came to hold Kaoru’s palm and he lowered his eyes.
“Fine.” Hikaru paused for a moment and gave in to the urge to kiss those sweet fingertips. He was surprised when Kaoru did not pull away. “I won’t say anything. You already know what I would have said.”
Kaoru smiled and it was heartbreaking.
“That’s why I stopped you.”
Hikaru looked up again and Kaoru’s affectionate face was wistful and withdrawn. He felt angry again, and he wanted to cry.
“Idiot,” Hikaru breathed, roughly pulling his twin’s fingers from his mouth, forcing his face dangerously close to Kaoru’s. That stinging sensation returned to plague the back of his eyes. “Idiot-” The heat from Kaoru’s face was dulcet and nostalgic and like something he knew he belonged to, and Hikaru did not think when he pressed his mouth insistently against his brother’s.
Kaoru did not protest or pull away and instead, his identical hands slipped into his unruly hair and pulled him closer. Hikaru felt his heart pounding and he almost smiled when he felt an identical heart beating just as hard against his chest. Tongues entwined unceremoniously and Hikaru’s grip on his twin’s jacket tightened, and he had half a mind to turn the lights back on just to be able to clearly see Kaoru’s flushed face when he pulled away, but the switch was too far away and Kaoru’s body was too warm and inviting.
A small moan escaped his lips and Kaoru followed suit, as usual-it felt like something that they had always done, and Hikaru, as always, was impatient and pushed off his brother’s jacket and went immediately for the buttons on his shirt.
Kaoru murmured some things against his lips that sounded vaguely like “leave it on,” and “host club,” but Hikaru didn’t quite care enough to listen properly and Kaoru tried to gently nudge the other off but halfheartedly and to no avail. The older twin smiled against the younger’s lips and Kaoru did too, and the fact that they were in an empty, unlocked classroom was quite irrelevant until the more grounded of the two mentioned it rather casually with distended pink lips.
“Maybe we should head back,” Kaoru said carelessly, his eyes half-mast, mouth small and round and delectable.
“Maybe,” Hikaru muttered against Kaoru’s jaw, hand traveling down his brother’s small back, and he made no motion to move. Kaoru’s resulting giggle only encouraged him further as he pushed him up against the door.
“No, I’m serious…” There was a smile in his words that Hikaru knew and the skin of Kaoru’s neck was all there was.
“I know you are,” Hikaru mumbled and brushed aside the collar of his brother’s shirt just a bit to kiss the newly exposed region. “Really, Kaoru, you’re normally up for a little risk.”
Kaoru let out a reprimanding sigh and Hikaru halted his movements just for a moment. “Not when you need to apologize to Kyouya and the rest of the Host Club.”
Hikaru groaned.
“Oh, don’t groan, Hikaru.”
Kaoru looked down at him with some sternness before Hikaru had the time to come up with some excuse or another as to why he shouldn’t have to apologize. The older twin relieved his brother’s neck of his mouth and looked at him with hesitant eyes. Kaoru smiled reassuringly, and Hikaru frowned a bit and glanced aside gruffly. He pursed his lips.
“Will you do it for me?”
“I can’t. Haruhi can tell.”
“Damn.” Hikaru grimaced and turned away. “Can’t I do it tomorrow?”
“No,” Kaoru’s voice was docile yet chiding. “Just tell them that you’re sorry and that you were being an incorrigible blockhead as usual.”
“Kaoru!”
Hikaru scowled and Kaoru laughed, and everything was the way it should have been.
-----
Kaoru had insisted that he had a lot of homework that night so Hikaru let him finish it and study for his math test tomorrow. He even sat down with his twin for about two hours to explain to him how to use polar coordinates. And then Kaoru reminded him kindly of an in-class essay on a classic they’d been reading, and when Hikaru sheepishly admitted-as always-that he hadn’t read a word of it, Kaoru sighed, a smile dangling on his lips as he explained the story and it’s significant deeper meanings-Kaoru was “good with deep shit like that,” as Hikaru gracefully put it-and it was nine thirty one when all the homework and polar coordinate studying had been done and every nook and crevice of every word of the current readings had been explored.
Hikaru couldn’t wait till Kaoru finished placing his books into his bag for their day of school the following day. Without hesitation, he grabbed his brother by the wrist and pulled him toward him, and the thud of Kaoru’s pre-calculus book as it hit the floor was heard as he impatiently pressed his lips against his brother’s.
Kaoru apparently needed nothing else to encourage him, because he deepened their kiss and slipped perhaps-thin arms around his neck and fisted a hand into his brother’s auburn hair. Hikaru’s voice was low and bristling with anticipation and he found himself smirking a bit against Kaoru’s identical mouth.
“A little eager?”
Kaoru returned the smirk and for a moment Hikaru wondered why, before he felt the soft warmth of his brother’s thigh brush lightly against his growing arousal and a moan escaped his lips.
“Someone is,” Kaoru let out a small giggle and Hikaru let out a low growl, pressing his lips against Kaoru’s a little more urgently, and his mouth felt hot and his tongue melded with his brother’s and their bodies were flushed one against the other, Hikaru’s hips grinding. For a moment Hikaru thought of the maids, and then the maids immediately left his mind when a sound escaped Kaoru’s parted lips-briefly and quietly and it was enough to make him forget about patience and his grip on Kaoru’s shirt tightened.
“God-Kaoru-”
Hikaru had planned on taking his time and exploring the parts of Kaoru that nobody else should ever discover-the skin right under the back of his collarbones, and that particularly ticklish spot on his shoulder blade-but it seemed Kaoru had a way of taking that patience and self-control and tossing it out the back window to be picked at by stray cats and the occasional commoner.
He was consumed with some irresponsible passion, and he wasn’t even paying attention to how he removed Kaoru’s clothes as long as they were off, and Kaoru was laughing a little.
“What?” Hikaru growled softly against the skin on Kaoru’s shoulder, his mouth traveling lower to assault his twin’s chest with kisses and gentle bites as he pushed off those pesky slacks.
“You look so serious and concentrated,” Kaoru smiled, a chortle threatening to escape his lips and Hikaru was embarrassed as he looked up at him, his cheeks reddening.
“Yes, well…” Hikaru paused a moment to put his mouth on a perfectly hard nipple and observe his brother’s resulting moan. “Undressing you is a serious matter.” His mouth went lower and he could feel Kaoru’s body underneath his mouth, trembling deliciously. “Removing those clothes as quickly as possible without tearing them takes considerable manual skill.”
Kaoru laughed again and it was a sweet laugh, but Hikaru wanted to hear other sounds from that mouth instead. It wasn’t a moment later when he impatiently put his mouth on Kaoru’s erection, and Kaoru let out a strangled gasp-Hikaru didn’t think and he immediately shoved in as much of the girth as he could into his mouth, and found that he couldn’t breathe properly with that pushing against the back of his throat and he wanted to gag. But didn’t give it too much of a thought; Kaoru’s voice was perfect and it was all he needed to hear. His twin’s hand came to the back of his head and he could hear Kaoru’s soft, gasping voice.
“Go slower, Hikaru,” Kaoru’s voice crooned softly and it was erotic. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
It was his first time trying such a thing and he took his brother’s advice and let the arousal go, focusing his attention merely on the head, and his tongue was swirling and his finger running up the underside, and Kaoru moaned and mewled and when Hikaru finally let go a few minutes later he noticed that his brother’s bottom lip was particularly rosy and there were two vague teeth-marks adorning them carelessly.
Kaoru let out a slightly disgruntled whine when Hikaru’s mouth left his need and traveled up to those swollen lips, and Hikaru mumbled something about “can’t wait” before almost violently pressing his mouth against his brother’s and demanding entrance, and pushing his tongue against Kaoru’s gracelessly. Kaoru only obliged and let out one of those sounds and it went straight to Hikaru’s throbbing arousal.
A few moments later-Hikaru had a skewed sense of time-Kaoru was pushed against the bed; half of his back and his right shoulder and his head if he could curl his neck to the right were resting on the bed and his other shoulder was pressed against the headboard, and neither of them bothered to fix it. To Hikaru, it was going too slowly and he fumbled through the drawers to find that same lotion that had served them the last time and when he found it he squeezed a generous amount into his hand and coated his fingers. At the same time, he found himself distracted by the way Kaoru’s chest rose and fell and Hikaru crawled atop him once more and his mouth attacked the junction between his twin’s neck and shoulder. Kaoru moaned and it was loud.
Hikaru grinned. He wanted it to be loud.
He clumsily pressed his fingers between Kaoru’s legs and he wasn’t looking because his twin’s chest was still there and it was begging to be tasted and licked and the way it shuddered when Kaoru breathed was violently exciting. He nudged his brother’s legs apart further and Kaoru only complied, and the moan that resulted when Hikaru pushed in two fingers was stifled by the back of a hand.
“Kaoru,” Hikaru heard himself panting as he leaned back against his heels, “don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Kaoru murmured.
The hand was still there across his mouth and Hikaru’s fingers curled. Another would-be loud moan escaped and it was shameless. Kaoru’s voice was husky and Hikaru thrilled in the way it told him I need you.
“Your hand.”
Hikaru found himself incapable of putting together full sentences and pushed in a third finger, brushing aside that hand before he did and Kaoru’s throat rumbled as he vocalized what his body was feeling. Hikaru couldn’t control his quick, quick breaths and every fiber in his body was overthrown with that carnal need. He pulled the fingers out quickly his eyes graced over Kaoru’s body.
There was a slick sheen coating Kaoru’s soft skin and the lights of stars made his face glow. He was beyond beautiful, exquisite, sublime. His face was flushed and Hikaru reveled in the primeval need etched into his twin’s glittering eyes, and if he were Kaoru, he would have considered how right all those feelings were, but this wasn’t the time and he wasn’t Kaoru, he was Hikaru.
Kaoru must have sensed his eyes wandering on his body, because his cheeks shone just a little brighter. Hikaru paid no mind and he impatiently squeezed some more lotion into his hand and hastily coated his arousal, his eyes fixed on his brother’s bright cheeks, and he mumbled something under his breath that he couldn’t hear.
“What?” Kaoru’s voice was unscrupulous and the movement of those pretty lips was mesmerizing.
“Nothing,” Hikaru muttered, and he couldn’t recognize that husky tone. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he amended without thinking, and Kaoru chortled. “What?” Hikaru blushed a little at his twin’s reaction and paused his actions for a moment.
“So are you, Hikaru.”
Hikaru felt his cheeks redden further and Kaoru had a crooked smile playing upon his lips. “Yes, well…” He understood the irony only a second later and it only embarrassed him more. Biting his lip a little, he put it out of mind for the time being and positioned himself and stopped.
“What?” The rascally smile was still there.
“Hey, get on your stomach,” Hikaru told him capriciously.
“Why?”
“Just…change of pace.”
Hikaru watched him with lustful eyes and that mischief that Kaoru’s grin held was only egging him on. But Kaoru was obedient for the time being and turned over and readjusted himself from that awkward position he had been in earlier.
Was it possible for someone’s back to be erotic? Hikaru pondered the notion for about three seconds as he pushed apart his twin’s legs to settle between them and watched the way a bead of sweat from Kaoru’s neck trickled down his spine. He wanted to run a finger down that back and watch his brother shiver, but there would be time for that later and right now he wanted to feel his twin in deeper, more penetrating ways.
“Can I do it?” Hikaru was embarrassed at asking and his eyes briefly floated outside the window; it was a moonless night.
“Yeah,” Kaoru’s voice trembled and Hikaru didn’t know why, and for a moment he wished he could see his brother’s face.
His hands came to steady Kaoru’s hips and he paused only a moment before slowly pushing into that salacious heat. A moan escaped his lips and Kaoru’s too, and there wasn’t any more holding back as Hikaru pushed in all the way and brushed a slick hand up against Kaoru’s spine. He leaned down and licked the shell of his twin’s ear and he could hear himself panting in wanton lust.
He didn’t ask for permission to move because it flustered him and waited until he could feel Kaoru relaxing around him before pulling out a little and thrusting back in. His heart was beating rapidly and he was all too aware of the feeling of Kaoru’s back against his chest. He was moaning and growling and saying lewd things and Kaoru cried out every now and then and he was almost-screaming.
Kaoru’s mouth was open and Hikaru could see his plump bottom lip shuddering with each sound that escaped his mouth. His own mouth ferociously licked and nipped right under his twin’s ear and his one hand slid up and around to touch those unstable lips and his immoral fingers slipped between and found Kaoru’s tongue. Two fingers were fluxed by saliva and dirty screams, and Hikaru’s growls only intensified against the skin right under his brother’s jaw.
There may have been someone knocking-Hikaru didn’t quite pay attention because all he heard was oh and ah and Hikaru and he didn’t care to hear anything else. The door was locked, however, and there were only maids in the house, as their parents had left on business trips as usual. They’d have to control their voices when their mother and father were home, but that would come later, and for now all that mattered was the heat gathering in his stomach.
They were identical twins and perhaps their stamina was identical too. Hikaru noted carefully that he did reach his release a moment or two before Kaoru did-who he thought did so beautifully, saying his name in such an erotic way that he could have gotten hard again with just that alone.
Hikaru didn’t pull out and Kaoru didn’t ask him to. They were quiet and the only thing that was there was the movement of Kaoru’s chest as his breath ebbed and surged from his body. They were hot and sweaty and Hikaru gathered his wits slowly and pulled out of the compliant body beneath him and rolled to the side. Kaoru turned to face him and his smile was divine and his eyes sparkled. Hikaru couldn’t help but smile too, though he was sure it wasn’t as graceful and perfect as his twin’s, and his hand came up to stroke that fair cheek.
Such romancing wasn’t quite Hikaru’s style, but he felt that Kaoru deserved it for being perfect and graceful, and he leaned forward and his cheeks tinted, his eyelashes fluttered, and Kaoru laughed a little. Hikaru blinked, his face heating.
“What?”
“Sorry,” Kaoru’s words were doused with his soft chortles. “You’re too cute.”
The younger redhead grinned and Hikaru couldn’t brace himself before Kaoru’s hand came up to pinch his cheek playfully; Hikaru was acutely aware of how red his face must have been.
“K-Kaoru!” He hissed abashedly, and Kaoru only laughed some more.
It was strangely comforting, that gentle sound that he had heard so many times before, and the smile in Kaoru’s eyes was there as it had always been, shining amongst the stars in the cloudless sky.
-----
Things were as normal as it was going to get between the two mischievous twins in the immediate future for the most part; the next day when they came to school, Haruhi watched them carefully and she smiled knowingly at Hikaru when she caught his eye.
-----
It was late at night and two weeks had passed since that day. Hikaru lay on his back after he and Kaoru had woken up the maids yet again with their not-quite-fraternal late-night activities. His head rested upon his crossed arms and he could hear Kaoru rustling a bit, smelling of sweat and sex and sweetness.
“What is it, Hikaru?” Kaoru’s voice was balmy and pleasant, and he had propped himself up on one elbow. Hikaru could feel his twin’s soothing gaze on his face.
Hikaru was silent for a while, his mind searching for what it was that he wanted to say. He was bad with words and worse at piecing his thoughts together.
“Hikaru?” Kaoru was concerned.
“Nothing,” Hikaru said, his voice unusually mellow. “I was just thinking.”
“Is that so?” Kaoru smiled warmly, and Hikaru frowned deeply, and Kaoru touched his brother’s chest with his temperate fingertips. “What were you thinking about?”
“I was just…” Hikaru trailed off and glanced aside a little and he was acting like Kaoru and the thought made his skin prickle just a bit. “I was just thinking about what you said in that classroom.”
“I said a lot of things in that classroom.” Kaoru’s presence was viscous and thick and sleepy against his neck.
“Yeah. But…you said that if something happened between us, it wouldn’t last forever.”
Hikaru felt his brother tense just a little against him and neither of them said anything for a few moments.
“But,” Hikaru continued, turning his face toward his twin to find a somber expression on Kaoru’s gentle face. “I was thinking about it and-Kaoru, I know that you may be right, but more than anything, I don’t want to go through our lives not knowing. I want to know what there is between us. So-even if what you said is correct, I don’t care, because more than anything…I want you to be there, and-”
“Shh.”
It was only then that Hikaru noticed that eyes were stinging and his cheeks were wet, and he was pressed up against Kaoru’s neck, his twin’s arms snugly around his shoulders. He pulled away from Kaoru’s warm body for a moment to look at his face carefully, where he only saw a tender smile.
“Just go to sleep, Hikaru.” Kaoru’s voice was soft and soothing and maybe-sad. “It’s late. Just go to sleep.”
Hikaru lowered his eyes hesitantly, and he didn’t say anything for a while. “Yeah,” he conceded halfheartedly, burying his face in the crook of Kaoru’s neck, and he lost himself in his brother’s trembling hand running through his hair, holding him close.
-----
Yeah. I hate the ending too. Goddamn.
Cross-posted to hikaruxkaoru and ouranhost_slash.