I love my life
"Dear Red Mage,
Who would win in a fight: Ronald McDonald or the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney?"
Disney has a contingency plan set up so he and Hitler will both thaw out together and activate their moon laser to create their own Happiest Place on Earth. Furthuremore, this new Ronald is nothing compared to his predecessor, he dies in the first wave of DisNazi stormtroopers. Only John McClain and the ghost of Napoleon have any hope of stopping them.
Twink out,
RM
"It is, then, my mission to educate you on the dangers of the cereal "mascots", and the organization they create.
-Vincente Leprechaun A.K.A. "Lucky"
One of the higher ranking lieutenants in the mafia, he supplies all the drugs to the various dealers. He buys them in Mexico with his "pots O' gold" and then smuggles them over the border in his balloons. Viciously ruthless, he slaughters all who stands in his way with gleeful irish charm. Also rumored to have connections to the I.R.A.
-Vittorio "Smacks" Frog
The main heroin dealer, he recieves his supplies from Lucky and the distributes them to his clientele. As with all the drug dealers in the mafia, his brand name cereal is a "gateway" cereal.
-Tony "The Tiger" Loretti
The enforcer for the mafia, and personal bodyguard for Wendell. Has been known to run extortion rackets for the mafia as well. Prone to violent mood swings, most likely due to massive intakes of steroids. ("They're Grrrreat!")
-Wendell "The Baker" Forcezi
The head of the mafia, he rose to power after assassinating his two brothers who previously ruled jointly with him. When asked about their whereabouts, he only replied, "They're toasty. Real toasty. And cinnamon flavored too." Incredibly brutal, he runs the mafia with an iron fist.
-Sonny "Cuckoo" Cartola
Deals crack cocaine. High strung, and extremely unpredictable. Considered by many to be a loose cannon, he is kept on a tight rein by Lucky.
-"Snap, Crackle, and Pop" Torelli
The three legendary hitmen of the cereal mafia. Also known as "The Butchers of Bakersville", it is estimated that they have killed over 200 people in their bloody career. Their real first names are not known, as they were given their nicknames early in their career when they opened fire on a high level meeting of tv spinoff cereal mascots with their trademark thompson submachine guns. They have even been known to pose in commercials with them.
-Luigi "The Captain" Crunch
Not so much a member of the mafia as an ally, he is a dictator who has taken over Crunchland. He systematically murders the crunchlings who he rules, and harvests their bodies for use in his cereal. He has since evaded human rights inspectors by claiming the "crunch berries" come from "crunch berry trees". He also has run a disinformation campaign against the CLO (crunchling liberation army), portraying them as green monsters.
I hope I have raised awareness of this criminal organization, and the threat it poses to society.
Thank You
Who would win in a fight: Ronald McDonald or the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney?"
Disney has a contingency plan set up so he and Hitler will both thaw out together and activate their moon laser to create their own Happiest Place on Earth. Furthuremore, this new Ronald is nothing compared to his predecessor, he dies in the first wave of DisNazi stormtroopers. Only John McClain and the ghost of Napoleon have any hope of stopping them.
Twink out,
RM
"It is, then, my mission to educate you on the dangers of the cereal "mascots", and the organization they create.
-Vincente Leprechaun A.K.A. "Lucky"
One of the higher ranking lieutenants in the mafia, he supplies all the drugs to the various dealers. He buys them in Mexico with his "pots O' gold" and then smuggles them over the border in his balloons. Viciously ruthless, he slaughters all who stands in his way with gleeful irish charm. Also rumored to have connections to the I.R.A.
-Vittorio "Smacks" Frog
The main heroin dealer, he recieves his supplies from Lucky and the distributes them to his clientele. As with all the drug dealers in the mafia, his brand name cereal is a "gateway" cereal.
-Tony "The Tiger" Loretti
The enforcer for the mafia, and personal bodyguard for Wendell. Has been known to run extortion rackets for the mafia as well. Prone to violent mood swings, most likely due to massive intakes of steroids. ("They're Grrrreat!")
-Wendell "The Baker" Forcezi
The head of the mafia, he rose to power after assassinating his two brothers who previously ruled jointly with him. When asked about their whereabouts, he only replied, "They're toasty. Real toasty. And cinnamon flavored too." Incredibly brutal, he runs the mafia with an iron fist.
-Sonny "Cuckoo" Cartola
Deals crack cocaine. High strung, and extremely unpredictable. Considered by many to be a loose cannon, he is kept on a tight rein by Lucky.
-"Snap, Crackle, and Pop" Torelli
The three legendary hitmen of the cereal mafia. Also known as "The Butchers of Bakersville", it is estimated that they have killed over 200 people in their bloody career. Their real first names are not known, as they were given their nicknames early in their career when they opened fire on a high level meeting of tv spinoff cereal mascots with their trademark thompson submachine guns. They have even been known to pose in commercials with them.
-Luigi "The Captain" Crunch
Not so much a member of the mafia as an ally, he is a dictator who has taken over Crunchland. He systematically murders the crunchlings who he rules, and harvests their bodies for use in his cereal. He has since evaded human rights inspectors by claiming the "crunch berries" come from "crunch berry trees". He also has run a disinformation campaign against the CLO (crunchling liberation army), portraying them as green monsters.
I hope I have raised awareness of this criminal organization, and the threat it poses to society.
Thank You