Steps in faith
I'm afraid of death and dying. I'm afraid because I have so many ideas, so many things that I want to do. I have so many stories I want to tell and so much I want to contribute. I feel like I'm a vessel filled with good things waiting to be translated and actualized, and I'm terrified that I will die before I do something great. Because I can do something great. I know I have that ability. I don't say this with the delusion that the world needs or wants what I have to give, or that it will be less vibrant or beautiful if I never give it, but because it would be a tragedy to me--to the self-serving inner me who wants to be remembered--to leave the world without ever reaching my dreams, especially when they're laid out in front of me in gold, as they are now.
I feel like God has paved the road and pulled up the limo, he's rolled out the red carpet and the paparazzi are waiting. But I'm a skeptic and--as is the nature of a skeptic--I keep looking for the catch, the trick, the booby-trap or the fine-print. I keep looking for the bus that's gonna hit me as I walk down the road he's made.
But I'm a christian, so I'll take these steps in faith. In faith that this is what God wants for me, and that he wouldn't dangle dreams before my eyes if I couldn't reach them. He wouldn't have given me these dreams at all if he'd meant to take them away.
Mine is a real life, not a novel. My life will not be ironic, and my life is not one--I believe--that is meant to be tragic. By taking these steps in faith, I hope to prevent that possibility.
I feel like God has paved the road and pulled up the limo, he's rolled out the red carpet and the paparazzi are waiting. But I'm a skeptic and--as is the nature of a skeptic--I keep looking for the catch, the trick, the booby-trap or the fine-print. I keep looking for the bus that's gonna hit me as I walk down the road he's made.
But I'm a christian, so I'll take these steps in faith. In faith that this is what God wants for me, and that he wouldn't dangle dreams before my eyes if I couldn't reach them. He wouldn't have given me these dreams at all if he'd meant to take them away.
Mine is a real life, not a novel. My life will not be ironic, and my life is not one--I believe--that is meant to be tragic. By taking these steps in faith, I hope to prevent that possibility.