Omnipotence is a bitch...
I sit here on duty listening to bad punk, punk that's so punk, even punkers haven't heard of most of it. I sit reading, I sit thinking. I sit typing this right now. I think I'm done being uber-cryptic here.
I've been through a whole helluva lotta shit in the last few months. I've found and lost love. I've repaired a relationship that I didn't even know existed and I've almost destroyed one that I built. The uppermost level of self-discovery and the mother of all rude awakenings heaped on top of health issues, financial bullshit, cults, threats, angry ex's, shit talkers, skeptics, psychics, psychopaths, and teary-eyed emo kids is enough to make me borderline retarded. I see that my dad is one of the coolest motherfuckers in the world and I hate myself for the years of bullshit that I supported and believed. I see that my mother, while I know her, is a completely different person in a completely different light now. I see that no matter how pure things are, no matter how much everything clicks, there's always a mysterious undertone that I can't quite put my finger on. It makes things more exciting. While we have people that we would gladly do anything for in our lives, we are still all truly alone. No one knows you like you. But what if you don't even really know yourself? Back to the self discovery and emo kids. So it's understandable if people get a little goofy while doing that. It's one big, vicious circle of -insert your name here-'s life. Everyone is constantly learning, constantly gaining, and constantly re-evaluating their entire lives. There aren't any sane people in the world, just those who are less crazy than others.
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I am in the process of crossrating. I'm trying to be all I can be...shit...I'm one of the few and the proud...goddammit...I'm aiming high...FUCK...Oh yeah, I'M ACCELERATING MY LIFE! ::wipes face:: Whew! All these slogans get me confused. But yeah, I need a real job so why not one that involves sitting at a desk ON LAND all the time? No more breakouts, no more "Ulrich, we need you to go to the hangar bay and help out with the RAS", no more of the 'if you're not black, you're wack' policy.
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Leigh Anne is the shit and she is the breath of fresh air that Jenn and I needed in our life. Woopty woop.
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Our living situation is interesting, but come March it'll be all good.
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I've never been more in love or more hurt. I've never been so at peace or had a life so chaotic. I've never been more retardedly intelligent. I've never been so independent and helpless. I've never been more content or more confused. The problem with my life up to this point is that I've never just BEEN.
I'm going to go call my lovely woman-person and express my love for her over a satellite transmission air wave thingy (cell phone).
I've been through a whole helluva lotta shit in the last few months. I've found and lost love. I've repaired a relationship that I didn't even know existed and I've almost destroyed one that I built. The uppermost level of self-discovery and the mother of all rude awakenings heaped on top of health issues, financial bullshit, cults, threats, angry ex's, shit talkers, skeptics, psychics, psychopaths, and teary-eyed emo kids is enough to make me borderline retarded. I see that my dad is one of the coolest motherfuckers in the world and I hate myself for the years of bullshit that I supported and believed. I see that my mother, while I know her, is a completely different person in a completely different light now. I see that no matter how pure things are, no matter how much everything clicks, there's always a mysterious undertone that I can't quite put my finger on. It makes things more exciting. While we have people that we would gladly do anything for in our lives, we are still all truly alone. No one knows you like you. But what if you don't even really know yourself? Back to the self discovery and emo kids. So it's understandable if people get a little goofy while doing that. It's one big, vicious circle of -insert your name here-'s life. Everyone is constantly learning, constantly gaining, and constantly re-evaluating their entire lives. There aren't any sane people in the world, just those who are less crazy than others.
----
I am in the process of crossrating. I'm trying to be all I can be...shit...I'm one of the few and the proud...goddammit...I'm aiming high...FUCK...Oh yeah, I'M ACCELERATING MY LIFE! ::wipes face:: Whew! All these slogans get me confused. But yeah, I need a real job so why not one that involves sitting at a desk ON LAND all the time? No more breakouts, no more "Ulrich, we need you to go to the hangar bay and help out with the RAS", no more of the 'if you're not black, you're wack' policy.
-
Leigh Anne is the shit and she is the breath of fresh air that Jenn and I needed in our life. Woopty woop.
-
Our living situation is interesting, but come March it'll be all good.
-
I've never been more in love or more hurt. I've never been so at peace or had a life so chaotic. I've never been more retardedly intelligent. I've never been so independent and helpless. I've never been more content or more confused. The problem with my life up to this point is that I've never just BEEN.
I'm going to go call my lovely woman-person and express my love for her over a satellite transmission air wave thingy (cell phone).