The Application I Would Never Actually Submit
So I've been working on this one on and off for the past month or two. Not because I actually want to submit this application, but because it's fun to write. This character was a big part of my childhood and just the thought of him in Luceti is hilarious. After some procrastination, I finished it today.
So without further ado:
Mun
Name: Meowzy
Livejournal Username: meowzy-chan
E-mail: silver_shiva@hotmail.com
AIM/MSN: ThaMeowzy / Silver_shiva@hotmail.com
Current Characters at Luceti: renegade_wings, fonon_professor and pinkbedwetter, forsurvival.
Character
Name: Al Bundy.
Fandom: Married With Children.
Gender: Male.
Age: 46
Time Period: After episode 196: “I Want My Psycho Dad (part II)” (season 9)
Wing Color: Brown. Like shoe polish.
History: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Bundy
Once upon a time, there was a boy who, 18 years old and at the prime of his high school football career, scored four touchdowns in one game. Polk High had never been more proud. Yes, the boy was deadset on following a professional career in American football, until he accidentally impregnated his girlfriend, broke his leg in an unfortunate accident and could never play again. This unfortunate teen… was Al Bundy.
Hit by what was known as the “Bundy Curse”, Al never lived an easy life. His father’s implied to have died early in his life and his mother was an alcoholic. After getting drunk one night, he made the biggest mistake of his life, as he likes to refer to it; He married Margaret “Peggy” Wanker, the girlfriend he’d impregnated. Naturally, two children were sure to follow. Kelly and Bud, both not exactly the brightest bulbs in the box, are both the frustrations and joys of his life. Doomed to the life of “family man”, Al took up a job at Gary’s Shoes (and Accessories for Today’s Woman) in the New Market Mall, where he works for a very minimum wage.
For many years, Al’s harbored a large hatred for his next-door neighbor, Marcy Rhoades. Marcy was later renamed to Marcy D’arcy when she left her husband Steve and married Jefferson D’arcy. Al and Marcy exchange taunts whenever possible, reveling in each other’s misery whenever the other suffers from some stroke of misfortune. Still, there are rare occasions when they’d reach a mutual understanding, though those moments occur mostly after Jefferson appeared in the series. Their teamwork is born from the fact that they are both bread-winners with dead-beat partners. Despite how much Al hates Marcy, he can get along just fine with Jefferson. And Steve as well, when the guy was still in the picture.
Frustrated by the world around him, especially women, he started a group called “N.O. M.A.A.M.” (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) in season 8, which his buddies promptly joined. While Al claims the group’s goal is to fight the increasing power of women all over society, the organization tends to just be a social club for neighborhood men. They drink beer, indulge in pornography, go bowling, watch sports, etc. Still, there are a few times when N.O. M.A.A.M. actually took action. For example, they traveled to Washington D.C. to appeal to Congress when Psycho Dad was cancelled and caused a riot when a beer tax was proposed. They also kidnapped Jerry Springer at one point.
Al’s suffered from many hygiene issues over the years. From his chronic case of foot perspiration to a bad case of dandruff, to teeth decay so foul his trip to the dentist didn’t end too well. It’s mentioned often that he hardly ever showers or tries anything else to keep his hygiene to a bearable level. Furthermore, he often manages to clog and flood the toilet after using it. It’s become a running gag in the series.
The series never had an epilogue, so it isn’t clear what happened to that poor fellow named Al Bundy in the end. However, in the episode It’s A Bundyful Life (part II), his guardian angel claimed that Al would die from stomach ulcers at the age of 60, which were caused by his stressful life. In accordance with his wishes, Al would be buried with his prized football possessions, next to his favorite TV actor, Fuzzy McGee. However, because they couldn’t afford a second grave, Peggy would later be buried in that same grave with him, her coffin stacked onto his. Obviously, this is much to Al’s dismay.
Personality:
First and foremost, Al hates fat women. He absolutely cannot stand them and whenever they enter the shoe store, he’s sure to mock them relentlessly. The sign outside the store may claim “courteous service”, but as Al states, that ad was put up by the previous owner, who died tragically when a size 9 shoe exploded in his face. From comparing the women to a manatee, to sarcastic remarks about the shoes having a two ton weight limit, insults are bound to happen. It seems Al’s hatred for fat women runs very deep, as he’s already seen insulting a fat librarian at a very young age. It’s unknown what sparked these strong emotions, but either way, it’s a constant source of comedy in the series.
Other things Al hates almost as much as fat women is having sex with his wife. While he does enjoy her breasts, actually doing the deed is something that’s nearly always met with reluctance. Then there’s the neighbor, Marcy, who seems to be his eternal rival. Al lives to make her life miserable and vice versa. He also hates the French.
On the flipside, Al is a simple man who enjoys the small things in life. He’s at his prime when he comes home from work, sits down on the couch and watches some well-earned television. While doing this, he tucks his right hand into his pants, though he switches to his left hand on Sundays. All he asks for from his wife is a clean house and a good meal, neither of which he ever gets. He likes Weenie tots, bowling and John Wayne films, specifically Hondo. His favorite TV show is Psycho Dad and his favorite magazine is Big'uns.
Despite being so horribly unsuccessful at life, Al has many hidden talents. He’s great at repairing cars, beating the shit out of people with his bare hands, barbecuing, assorted sports… He also has a vast knowledge of sports trivia. It’s a shame none of these talents are particularly useful. Another trait of his is his ability to withstand insane injuries. One can’t count the amount of times he’s fallen off a roof, lived through an explosion, gotten electrocuted or squashed underneath a fat lady.
Al shows great leadership skills, being the founder of N.O. M.A.A.M. and lead organizer of many of its activities. Whenever an argument breaks out amongst the members, he’ll put a stop to it with his sense of authority and he’s usually the one to come up with the ‘bright ideas’.
Another thing about Al is that he’s stubborn. He stands by his good old-fashioned principles. For example, he swears by his "faithful" 1974 Dodge Dart that invariably has failed brakes, constant breakdowns and numerous other problems associated with its age. By the eighth season, the Dart had passed one million miles. That old baby will never be disposed of, no matter how ramshackle it’ll become.
Strengths:
Physical: Al’s great at sports. He once scored four touchdowns in one game. That was when he was still in his prime, of course. Still, he regularly wins fistfights and outruns mobs, so clearly he must still be in good shape.
Mental: … Uhhh. OH. He’s great at coming up with fat jokes. Also, something aching to leadership skills is shown during N.O. M.A.A.M. meetings.
Emotional: Deep down, he does love his family. This is proven on very rare occasions, like when the Dodge went missing and Al desperately wanted it back- Not because it was his trusty Dodge, but because there was a family picture in the trunk. He’s very protective of his children, particularly Kelly, as he will gladly beat up her boyfriends.
Weaknesses:
Physical: To put it very simply, he’s a slob.
Mental: Al isn’t exactly the brightest bulb in the box. Or in the crate, for that matter. He also has extremely bad luck.
Emotional: Al has a very strong dislike for most of the world around him, causing him to take it out on innocent (usually fat) people. If it were up to him, he’d be on a deserted island- Well, maybe not entirely deserted. It’d be him and the covergirl of Big’uns.
Samples
First Person:
Q&A.
Third Person:
Al sat on the lush couch in his newly-found house, staring intently ahead. There was no TV. Not yet. He’d get his hands on one, if it was the last thing he did. For now, he’d have to settle for an empty cardboard box with one side cut out. At this point, he really didn’t mind. If he had to choose between this or watching a real TV with Peg gabbing in his ear, he knew which one he’d pick. Until the novelty wore off, anyway. He couldn’t go too long without the missus.
Did women in this village cook? Eh, who cared? Apparently, everything was free, including the food. He could eat pizza every day without worrying about things like tipping the delivery guy or going bankrupt. Being kidnapped by otherworldly scientists was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him; he’d never starve again. He didn’t have to pay taxes, either. Or spend his days trying to convince overweight manatees that ‘no, they were not a size seven’. And ‘yes, that half-eaten donut stuck in their chin rolls did make them look fat’. At last, no more exhausting work for minimum wage. He was gonna miss Marcy’s deadbeat goon, though. Jefferson, Griff, Bob Rooney and all the other guys from N.O. M.A.A.M. … Well, it wasn’t like he’d never see them again.
Silence. A content sigh escaped him and he slipped his left hand into his pants. More silence. No fat women, no shoe stores, no Marcy, no more of Kelly’s boyfriends. Just silence. Yup, this was the life. Faintly, he wondered if people here knew what football was and whether they’d be impressed by four touchdowns in one game. Maybe they’d consider him their god, like in that one movie he saw. And there’d be good-looking girls with Big’uns in bikinis, serving to his every whim. That’d be something.
There was no doubt about it. Evil scientist or no, this was going to be the best forced holiday in Al’s life.
So without further ado:
Mun
Name: Meowzy
Livejournal Username: meowzy-chan
E-mail: silver_shiva@hotmail.com
AIM/MSN: ThaMeowzy / Silver_shiva@hotmail.com
Current Characters at Luceti: renegade_wings, fonon_professor and pinkbedwetter, forsurvival.
Character
Name: Al Bundy.
Fandom: Married With Children.
Gender: Male.
Age: 46
Time Period: After episode 196: “I Want My Psycho Dad (part II)” (season 9)
Wing Color: Brown. Like shoe polish.
History: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Bundy
Once upon a time, there was a boy who, 18 years old and at the prime of his high school football career, scored four touchdowns in one game. Polk High had never been more proud. Yes, the boy was deadset on following a professional career in American football, until he accidentally impregnated his girlfriend, broke his leg in an unfortunate accident and could never play again. This unfortunate teen… was Al Bundy.
Hit by what was known as the “Bundy Curse”, Al never lived an easy life. His father’s implied to have died early in his life and his mother was an alcoholic. After getting drunk one night, he made the biggest mistake of his life, as he likes to refer to it; He married Margaret “Peggy” Wanker, the girlfriend he’d impregnated. Naturally, two children were sure to follow. Kelly and Bud, both not exactly the brightest bulbs in the box, are both the frustrations and joys of his life. Doomed to the life of “family man”, Al took up a job at Gary’s Shoes (and Accessories for Today’s Woman) in the New Market Mall, where he works for a very minimum wage.
For many years, Al’s harbored a large hatred for his next-door neighbor, Marcy Rhoades. Marcy was later renamed to Marcy D’arcy when she left her husband Steve and married Jefferson D’arcy. Al and Marcy exchange taunts whenever possible, reveling in each other’s misery whenever the other suffers from some stroke of misfortune. Still, there are rare occasions when they’d reach a mutual understanding, though those moments occur mostly after Jefferson appeared in the series. Their teamwork is born from the fact that they are both bread-winners with dead-beat partners. Despite how much Al hates Marcy, he can get along just fine with Jefferson. And Steve as well, when the guy was still in the picture.
Frustrated by the world around him, especially women, he started a group called “N.O. M.A.A.M.” (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) in season 8, which his buddies promptly joined. While Al claims the group’s goal is to fight the increasing power of women all over society, the organization tends to just be a social club for neighborhood men. They drink beer, indulge in pornography, go bowling, watch sports, etc. Still, there are a few times when N.O. M.A.A.M. actually took action. For example, they traveled to Washington D.C. to appeal to Congress when Psycho Dad was cancelled and caused a riot when a beer tax was proposed. They also kidnapped Jerry Springer at one point.
Al’s suffered from many hygiene issues over the years. From his chronic case of foot perspiration to a bad case of dandruff, to teeth decay so foul his trip to the dentist didn’t end too well. It’s mentioned often that he hardly ever showers or tries anything else to keep his hygiene to a bearable level. Furthermore, he often manages to clog and flood the toilet after using it. It’s become a running gag in the series.
The series never had an epilogue, so it isn’t clear what happened to that poor fellow named Al Bundy in the end. However, in the episode It’s A Bundyful Life (part II), his guardian angel claimed that Al would die from stomach ulcers at the age of 60, which were caused by his stressful life. In accordance with his wishes, Al would be buried with his prized football possessions, next to his favorite TV actor, Fuzzy McGee. However, because they couldn’t afford a second grave, Peggy would later be buried in that same grave with him, her coffin stacked onto his. Obviously, this is much to Al’s dismay.
Personality:
First and foremost, Al hates fat women. He absolutely cannot stand them and whenever they enter the shoe store, he’s sure to mock them relentlessly. The sign outside the store may claim “courteous service”, but as Al states, that ad was put up by the previous owner, who died tragically when a size 9 shoe exploded in his face. From comparing the women to a manatee, to sarcastic remarks about the shoes having a two ton weight limit, insults are bound to happen. It seems Al’s hatred for fat women runs very deep, as he’s already seen insulting a fat librarian at a very young age. It’s unknown what sparked these strong emotions, but either way, it’s a constant source of comedy in the series.
Other things Al hates almost as much as fat women is having sex with his wife. While he does enjoy her breasts, actually doing the deed is something that’s nearly always met with reluctance. Then there’s the neighbor, Marcy, who seems to be his eternal rival. Al lives to make her life miserable and vice versa. He also hates the French.
On the flipside, Al is a simple man who enjoys the small things in life. He’s at his prime when he comes home from work, sits down on the couch and watches some well-earned television. While doing this, he tucks his right hand into his pants, though he switches to his left hand on Sundays. All he asks for from his wife is a clean house and a good meal, neither of which he ever gets. He likes Weenie tots, bowling and John Wayne films, specifically Hondo. His favorite TV show is Psycho Dad and his favorite magazine is Big'uns.
Despite being so horribly unsuccessful at life, Al has many hidden talents. He’s great at repairing cars, beating the shit out of people with his bare hands, barbecuing, assorted sports… He also has a vast knowledge of sports trivia. It’s a shame none of these talents are particularly useful. Another trait of his is his ability to withstand insane injuries. One can’t count the amount of times he’s fallen off a roof, lived through an explosion, gotten electrocuted or squashed underneath a fat lady.
Al shows great leadership skills, being the founder of N.O. M.A.A.M. and lead organizer of many of its activities. Whenever an argument breaks out amongst the members, he’ll put a stop to it with his sense of authority and he’s usually the one to come up with the ‘bright ideas’.
Another thing about Al is that he’s stubborn. He stands by his good old-fashioned principles. For example, he swears by his "faithful" 1974 Dodge Dart that invariably has failed brakes, constant breakdowns and numerous other problems associated with its age. By the eighth season, the Dart had passed one million miles. That old baby will never be disposed of, no matter how ramshackle it’ll become.
Strengths:
Physical: Al’s great at sports. He once scored four touchdowns in one game. That was when he was still in his prime, of course. Still, he regularly wins fistfights and outruns mobs, so clearly he must still be in good shape.
Mental: … Uhhh. OH. He’s great at coming up with fat jokes. Also, something aching to leadership skills is shown during N.O. M.A.A.M. meetings.
Emotional: Deep down, he does love his family. This is proven on very rare occasions, like when the Dodge went missing and Al desperately wanted it back- Not because it was his trusty Dodge, but because there was a family picture in the trunk. He’s very protective of his children, particularly Kelly, as he will gladly beat up her boyfriends.
Weaknesses:
Physical: To put it very simply, he’s a slob.
Mental: Al isn’t exactly the brightest bulb in the box. Or in the crate, for that matter. He also has extremely bad luck.
Emotional: Al has a very strong dislike for most of the world around him, causing him to take it out on innocent (usually fat) people. If it were up to him, he’d be on a deserted island- Well, maybe not entirely deserted. It’d be him and the covergirl of Big’uns.
Samples
First Person:
Q&A.
Third Person:
Al sat on the lush couch in his newly-found house, staring intently ahead. There was no TV. Not yet. He’d get his hands on one, if it was the last thing he did. For now, he’d have to settle for an empty cardboard box with one side cut out. At this point, he really didn’t mind. If he had to choose between this or watching a real TV with Peg gabbing in his ear, he knew which one he’d pick. Until the novelty wore off, anyway. He couldn’t go too long without the missus.
Did women in this village cook? Eh, who cared? Apparently, everything was free, including the food. He could eat pizza every day without worrying about things like tipping the delivery guy or going bankrupt. Being kidnapped by otherworldly scientists was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him; he’d never starve again. He didn’t have to pay taxes, either. Or spend his days trying to convince overweight manatees that ‘no, they were not a size seven’. And ‘yes, that half-eaten donut stuck in their chin rolls did make them look fat’. At last, no more exhausting work for minimum wage. He was gonna miss Marcy’s deadbeat goon, though. Jefferson, Griff, Bob Rooney and all the other guys from N.O. M.A.A.M. … Well, it wasn’t like he’d never see them again.
Silence. A content sigh escaped him and he slipped his left hand into his pants. More silence. No fat women, no shoe stores, no Marcy, no more of Kelly’s boyfriends. Just silence. Yup, this was the life. Faintly, he wondered if people here knew what football was and whether they’d be impressed by four touchdowns in one game. Maybe they’d consider him their god, like in that one movie he saw. And there’d be good-looking girls with Big’uns in bikinis, serving to his every whim. That’d be something.
There was no doubt about it. Evil scientist or no, this was going to be the best forced holiday in Al’s life.