Apparently, this is now a cooking blog. /wry
Nomsy Food You Can Make At Home While Sick And Barely Able To Stand Up
Slow-Carb Apple Pie Filling, Mark 1
1) Ask your beautiful wife[*] to wash you four delicious, organic Fuji apples (thanks, Costco!) and bring them to you.
2) Cut them into quarters, core them, and slice them into thin, trapezoidal cross-sections while feeding half of an apple to your adorable daughter[#].
3) Mix up just a bit (a teaspoon, perhaps--I used too much, and it came out floury) of whole wheat flour (or a lower-carb thickener like arrowroot powder or xanthan gum, if you happen to have those), about two teaspoons of cinnamon, a couple of shakes of powdered cloves, and about 2 teaspoons of xylitol in a bowl.
4) Pour the dry ingredients over the apple slices and mix thoroughly.
5) Dot the top with butter or some suitable butteresque substance.
6) Microwave for 12 minutes.
7) Let stand for as long as you can, well, stand. I give you 30 seconds.
8) Nomnomnomnomnom.
9) Realize that sitting up and slicing apples was a bad idea, and go back to bed[$].
[*] Don't have a beautiful wife? Get one here, or ask your helpful friends!
[#] Don't have an adorable daughter? Hrmmmm...well, first, get a beautiful wife[*]. She'll help you figure it out.
[$] This step is optional unless you are sick.
Anyway. Meer. I'll be better in a few days.[%]
[%] The apple pie filling, however, is just fine right now.
Slow-Carb Apple Pie Filling, Mark 1
1) Ask your beautiful wife[*] to wash you four delicious, organic Fuji apples (thanks, Costco!) and bring them to you.
2) Cut them into quarters, core them, and slice them into thin, trapezoidal cross-sections while feeding half of an apple to your adorable daughter[#].
3) Mix up just a bit (a teaspoon, perhaps--I used too much, and it came out floury) of whole wheat flour (or a lower-carb thickener like arrowroot powder or xanthan gum, if you happen to have those), about two teaspoons of cinnamon, a couple of shakes of powdered cloves, and about 2 teaspoons of xylitol in a bowl.
4) Pour the dry ingredients over the apple slices and mix thoroughly.
5) Dot the top with butter or some suitable butteresque substance.
6) Microwave for 12 minutes.
7) Let stand for as long as you can, well, stand. I give you 30 seconds.
8) Nomnomnomnomnom.
9) Realize that sitting up and slicing apples was a bad idea, and go back to bed[$].
[*] Don't have a beautiful wife? Get one here, or ask your helpful friends!
[#] Don't have an adorable daughter? Hrmmmm...well, first, get a beautiful wife[*]. She'll help you figure it out.
[$] This step is optional unless you are sick.
Anyway. Meer. I'll be better in a few days.[%]
[%] The apple pie filling, however, is just fine right now.