eye of the storm?

[meowmeowroni]

for the first time in a long time, i'm not anxious about anything. all throughout junior high and high school, i had this huge pressure to get perfect grades so that i could get to college. then college followed with the huge pressure to get good grades so i could look good when i wanted to go to grad school or get a job. now, of course, i feel some pressure to get good grades now in law school. being in the top part of my graduating class would be incredible. but at the same time, i'm here. i made it through all of the hoops so far - middle school honors classes setting me up for ap and honors classes in high school, sat and act scores that made me competitive, college grades that put me near the top of the spectrum, three majors, a sufficient lsat score... and now i'm here. and i don't feel nearly as anxious beginning my second semester of law school as i did when i started the first. of course, i will be a nervous wreck during finals again. but i did it. i completed the semester, i went to every class, i did all the readings, i made some friends, i joined a school activity. i feel like i did all that i was supposed to do, and i'm still okay. so now i just have five more semesters and then the looming bar exam and then the workforce. but even that seems too far away for me to feel anxious about yet. i just feel like i am in the middle of two terribly anxious things (pre-law school school and the bar exam/workforce)... and for this brief two and a half/only two year period, i'm calm.

is this how i'll feel when i have a steady job and a house and a family and all the things i want? hope so.