the annual post (2011)
i thought i'd write this annual end of the year/start of the new year post with my expectations and realities of the year:
-i'd go to japan and live on my own and be really good at japanese/i adapted to the failure of my trip, got a lot closer to zach, earned a lot of money, and realized that my semi-semester off was enough of a break to try for law school in the the fall of 2012. if it weren't for japan, i honestly think that my life would be on a different track right now. i'm not saying that i wouldn't be trying to go to law school, but maybe not immediately - but then again, who knows what i'd really want after a trip like that? and then again, who knows if it would have changed my mind at all? the truth is that i'll never know how that trip might have affected my life... and i'll probably never realize the extent that not going affected my life either.
-i'd take the lsat flawlessly/i failed...pretty badly, but i cried, panicked, took it again, and did better. maybe it's better that i have that story instead - our failures sometimes paint a better picture than our successes ever would, after all.
-i won't be able to stand my new roommates/i LOVED my new roommates more than i have loved half the people i have met at iu. i loved living with them more than i can eloquently describe. brittany alone will make leaving the 805 a sad thing, which is definitely not something i expected to be upset about. just goes to show how wrong first impressions can really be sometimes.
-i will keep all my friends!/honestly, not a part of me thought that i'd be losing friends by my own choice. people come in your life and they go. occasionally, there is some tragedy in that. but other times, it feels like the weight of the world is being lifted off your shoulders. if i had never met john, my life would be different. and even on our worst days, i know that there was a reason i was meant to know him. but beyond that, i can name forty thousand reasons why it's time to move on now.
-i'll be with zach at the end of 2011/true and happily. happier than i can even find ways to describe sometimes. to put it plainly, zach is, by far, the best man i've ever dated, and i am thankful for everyday that i can call him mine. as i listen to all of the dating drama at work, i am reminded how lucky i am to be in a stable, committed relationship where we both get exactly what we want out of it every single day.
-i'll get straight a's in the fall!/true! and it was kind of easy, so i regret being lazy the past three years. but i am half way through my all-a senior year.
-i'll work-out more!/true. i've had some vacation days, but i have managed to workout at a more consistent level.
-i'll floss everyday/can't believe i get to say this is true!
-i'll read more/oh... was this a resolution? oh... i read tumblr more? no, okay. you're right, i should read more. wait! this wasn't a total failure. i can honestly say i read 98% of my reading assignments this year (and this was no small feat; i took a literature class this past fall). so although it's not reading for fun, i did read a lot this year. and some of it was fun!
in the end, sometimes my expectations were actually wrong and the reality was so much better. and then sometimes my expectations really seemed a lot better than the realities. but, as i say so many times (for i am trying to convince and remind myself of it daily), everything that has happened in my life lead me here. and not saying that if my expectations had all lived up that i would be somewhere i don't want to be or even somewhere different - but there is no guarantee that i'd be here. and here is where i want to be.
overall, i'd say it was a successful year, 2011. and now to a better 2012. and just so i can remember next year, here are some expectations of 2012: get all a's, graduate, move to portland, find a job, start at lewis & clark, get two puppies, and end the year at as happy a place as i did in 2011.
-i'd go to japan and live on my own and be really good at japanese/i adapted to the failure of my trip, got a lot closer to zach, earned a lot of money, and realized that my semi-semester off was enough of a break to try for law school in the the fall of 2012. if it weren't for japan, i honestly think that my life would be on a different track right now. i'm not saying that i wouldn't be trying to go to law school, but maybe not immediately - but then again, who knows what i'd really want after a trip like that? and then again, who knows if it would have changed my mind at all? the truth is that i'll never know how that trip might have affected my life... and i'll probably never realize the extent that not going affected my life either.
-i'd take the lsat flawlessly/i failed...pretty badly, but i cried, panicked, took it again, and did better. maybe it's better that i have that story instead - our failures sometimes paint a better picture than our successes ever would, after all.
-i won't be able to stand my new roommates/i LOVED my new roommates more than i have loved half the people i have met at iu. i loved living with them more than i can eloquently describe. brittany alone will make leaving the 805 a sad thing, which is definitely not something i expected to be upset about. just goes to show how wrong first impressions can really be sometimes.
-i will keep all my friends!/honestly, not a part of me thought that i'd be losing friends by my own choice. people come in your life and they go. occasionally, there is some tragedy in that. but other times, it feels like the weight of the world is being lifted off your shoulders. if i had never met john, my life would be different. and even on our worst days, i know that there was a reason i was meant to know him. but beyond that, i can name forty thousand reasons why it's time to move on now.
-i'll be with zach at the end of 2011/true and happily. happier than i can even find ways to describe sometimes. to put it plainly, zach is, by far, the best man i've ever dated, and i am thankful for everyday that i can call him mine. as i listen to all of the dating drama at work, i am reminded how lucky i am to be in a stable, committed relationship where we both get exactly what we want out of it every single day.
-i'll get straight a's in the fall!/true! and it was kind of easy, so i regret being lazy the past three years. but i am half way through my all-a senior year.
-i'll work-out more!/true. i've had some vacation days, but i have managed to workout at a more consistent level.
-i'll floss everyday/can't believe i get to say this is true!
-i'll read more/oh... was this a resolution? oh... i read tumblr more? no, okay. you're right, i should read more. wait! this wasn't a total failure. i can honestly say i read 98% of my reading assignments this year (and this was no small feat; i took a literature class this past fall). so although it's not reading for fun, i did read a lot this year. and some of it was fun!
in the end, sometimes my expectations were actually wrong and the reality was so much better. and then sometimes my expectations really seemed a lot better than the realities. but, as i say so many times (for i am trying to convince and remind myself of it daily), everything that has happened in my life lead me here. and not saying that if my expectations had all lived up that i would be somewhere i don't want to be or even somewhere different - but there is no guarantee that i'd be here. and here is where i want to be.
overall, i'd say it was a successful year, 2011. and now to a better 2012. and just so i can remember next year, here are some expectations of 2012: get all a's, graduate, move to portland, find a job, start at lewis & clark, get two puppies, and end the year at as happy a place as i did in 2011.