I am. It was...
There are so many thoughts racing through my mind about Spring Kallah, I hardly know where to begin. Was it amazing? Absolutely. Actually, it was one of the best conventions I've ever atteneded. This could be a direct result of any number of things, such as: Dan Nichols concert, Dan leading services with us, Saturday night program/dance, senior night at the hotel, MY HOST HOME, the people, shopping + Starbucks, NFTY hugs, etc. All so very wonderful and inviting.
However...
(yes, there is a "however")
The whole songleader mess was incredibly irritating. Let me paint you a little picture, here. Imagine you're "in charge" of making sure something happens... you do everything you can to make sure it gets done (and done correctly) only to find out someone else has changed things... WITHOUT TELLING YOU... making you look like a fool. Yea, well, I shouldn't go into details here because a few NFTYites read this and that would be rude and unprofessional of me (not that I'm a professional, but you know what I'm getting at). I just wish that as Head Songleader, I could have received a little more respect from my peers and a little more support from the people who matter. But alas, everything depends on the president. That's the way it always has been and always will be. To sum things up, I have no final say in *anything*. Oh well... I hope I made a difference to someone... for someone. Anything, really. I hope I'm remembered. Another thing that kind of bothered me was someone saying we were a "challenge" to work with. I'm so very sorry that we want to get services a few weeks early, or that we want to pick tunes that we know, or that we want to be considered as REGIONAL BOARD members because dear, that's exactly what we are. Were any of you aware of that? Oh yea... thank you to Jason for making sure we were introduced at this Kallah. I had a few people IM me before the actual convention asking me the names of other songleaders, claiming they recognized their faces but were enver told their names.... umm, not acceptable. I hope things are different next year. I really, really do.
I had an amaing host family (Amy + parents)! It was so great just to hang out with my friends and catch up on each others lives (and leading boys in their lives, hehe). Can't wait to see ya next year in college *hugs*. I love my girls.
Leah, Matt, Julie, and Jenn - thank you. Not just for the gifts you gave me, but also for teaching me throughout the year what it means to be a leader. Being a songleader (though sometimes time consuming) has opened doors for me... shown me exactly what I'm made of.
It's funny. This past weekend I think I came to terms with myself. I observed the actions of other NFTYites and saw exactly what I DIDN'T want to become. I know, that sounds weird, but it's so true. Sometimes it takes a glimpse at what you're NOT to be thankful for everything you ARE. I can live with that... and that's something I needed.
The drive home with Leah left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. It's over. Don't tell me, "No, there's always Kesher or Hillel or maybe even returning to be an RA!" Somehow, I don't see that happening. I might go to Hillel every once in a while, I'm not shutting that idea out, but honestly, I don't want to come back. I want to leave NFTY exactly as it is for me, untouched by anything else. It's such a precious and fragile portion of my life that I'd be too afraid to alter anything about it. It's brought me to where I am today, and we all know it's taken a while to get here. I have no intentions to change anything. I'm moving on in my life. I've got big plans for myself. Thank you, NFTY, for bringing me this far. I will never forget you.
However...
(yes, there is a "however")
The whole songleader mess was incredibly irritating. Let me paint you a little picture, here. Imagine you're "in charge" of making sure something happens... you do everything you can to make sure it gets done (and done correctly) only to find out someone else has changed things... WITHOUT TELLING YOU... making you look like a fool. Yea, well, I shouldn't go into details here because a few NFTYites read this and that would be rude and unprofessional of me (not that I'm a professional, but you know what I'm getting at). I just wish that as Head Songleader, I could have received a little more respect from my peers and a little more support from the people who matter. But alas, everything depends on the president. That's the way it always has been and always will be. To sum things up, I have no final say in *anything*. Oh well... I hope I made a difference to someone... for someone. Anything, really. I hope I'm remembered. Another thing that kind of bothered me was someone saying we were a "challenge" to work with. I'm so very sorry that we want to get services a few weeks early, or that we want to pick tunes that we know, or that we want to be considered as REGIONAL BOARD members because dear, that's exactly what we are. Were any of you aware of that? Oh yea... thank you to Jason for making sure we were introduced at this Kallah. I had a few people IM me before the actual convention asking me the names of other songleaders, claiming they recognized their faces but were enver told their names.... umm, not acceptable. I hope things are different next year. I really, really do.
I had an amaing host family (Amy + parents)! It was so great just to hang out with my friends and catch up on each others lives (and leading boys in their lives, hehe). Can't wait to see ya next year in college *hugs*. I love my girls.
Leah, Matt, Julie, and Jenn - thank you. Not just for the gifts you gave me, but also for teaching me throughout the year what it means to be a leader. Being a songleader (though sometimes time consuming) has opened doors for me... shown me exactly what I'm made of.
It's funny. This past weekend I think I came to terms with myself. I observed the actions of other NFTYites and saw exactly what I DIDN'T want to become. I know, that sounds weird, but it's so true. Sometimes it takes a glimpse at what you're NOT to be thankful for everything you ARE. I can live with that... and that's something I needed.
The drive home with Leah left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. It's over. Don't tell me, "No, there's always Kesher or Hillel or maybe even returning to be an RA!" Somehow, I don't see that happening. I might go to Hillel every once in a while, I'm not shutting that idea out, but honestly, I don't want to come back. I want to leave NFTY exactly as it is for me, untouched by anything else. It's such a precious and fragile portion of my life that I'd be too afraid to alter anything about it. It's brought me to where I am today, and we all know it's taken a while to get here. I have no intentions to change anything. I'm moving on in my life. I've got big plans for myself. Thank you, NFTY, for bringing me this far. I will never forget you.