Harry Potter Fanfiction: What He Was After 1
Long story, short version: Lee Jordan's back at Hogwarts trying to deal with Fred's death. I don't own much of this story--just what I've put into Lee's head. J.K Rowling created the world of Harry Potter and Lee Jordan. And since it's an RP, I don't know where it's going...And that's half the fun. A fuller explanation here.
What He Was After
1Last Minute Decisions Lead to Problems
It had been a last minute decision. It’s not that Lee Jordan hadn’t thought about coming back when he heard the news McGonagall was adding another year for those who wanted it, he had, but he’d been waffling back and forth ever since: Yes. No. Maybe. It’ll help you heal. It’ll be like picking at a wound. I’m going. I can’t go. Think of all the people you’ll get to see! What about the ones I won’t see? The ones I’ll never see again?
But then, he realized, he had to come back. The ones who had survived and the ones who survived only in hearts and minds-all of them were so brilliant. It wouldn’t be easy, but then, many things worth doing never were. And if George could summon up the courage to go, who was he to hide? The only way everyone was going to get past this was together. That’s how they had survived and that’s how they’d relearn to live.
By the time he had made the final decision-this decision-term had already started.He had apparated into Hogsmeade with a sloppily packed trunk dragging behind him,and sent an owl to McGonagall. He was late, but she had been kind.
And now, once again, he was standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. The only problem was…he’d forgotten to ask for the password.
Brilliant, Lee. Just brilliant. He had a number of options. One, endure the Fat Lady’s shared snickers with her friend Violet and wait for a Gryffindor to have mercy on him when they arrived at or left the portrait. Two, try to convince the Fat Lady to let him in. Three, look for someone he knew by aimlessly wandering the castle or doing more waiting in the Great Hall or the library. Four, return to the headmistress’ office and suffer through her steely glare and ask for the password. All of these options were not kind to his pride-something all Gryffindors would rather have intact.
Lee sighed, sat down on his trunk, and ran a hand through his hair.
“You were one of them.” A small voice filled with wonder whispered. Lee looked up and a remarkably small girl with a quill in her hand as if she had forgotten to put it down looked right back.
“Sorry? Can you tell me the password?I’m a Gryffindor, I promise.” He said and added a bit lamely, “I’m just a bit…late.”
“You were one of them!” squeaked the girl.
“What?One of who?”
“Last year, I was a first year. And you’re-you’re one of the people who came! I saw you before we all had to go!”The girl eyes leaned in and whispered in awe, ”You were with Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom and The Order!You’re a hero.”
“I’m?Me? No!” sputtered Lee.He wasn’t. Others had been much braver and better and he couldn’t believe what this small girl was saying.”I-I just…There were so many others who…I’m not.”
“You are! You are!”The girl insisted her black pigtails wagging.”I’ve wanted to thank all of you, but I’ve been too scared before.You’re all amazing. But I saw you needed help and I know the password and now you’re talking to me and-”
“I’m not some sort of hero…Thank you, but I’d just like to get into the common room.”
“Oh, of course!”she piped, straightening up, tossing her hair and striding towards the Fat Lady’s portrait.
“Bertie Bott!”
“About time,”sighed the Fat Lady’s friend. “You jabber on like a monkey.”
Lee levitated his trunk and followed it through the portrait hole. The girl smiled, stuck out her hand, and said, “Cynthia Mercer, if there’s anything I can do for you or your friends, sir, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Um,Lee Jordan and thanks very much,”said Lee as she shook his hand enthusiastically before skipping up to the girl’s dormitory shouting about how she’d spoken to a hero.
He now had a tiny inkling about how overwhelming it must be for Harry. None of them had asked for this strange sort of fame. Surviving. How could he,Lee Jordan, be a hero for that? How could he be considered a hero by a little girl when just this afternoon he’d dreaded the arrival of the carriage that had whisked him away from Hogsmeade onto school grounds because he knew this time, this time he’d be able to see the thestrals?
Lee frowned as he watched Cynthia leave. She reminded him of a boy who used to bother Harry with a fondness for taking pictures, Colin Creevey. Lee suddenly felt very old and sank into one of the armchairs by the fireplace....
***
”This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One hour.” Lee’s eyes snapped open. He leapt out of the armchair to his feet, wand at the ready, every muscle tensed, the terrible, dreaded, voice still pounding in his head and quickening his heart. The crackle of the fireplace calmed him. That was all over. He breathed deeply. He had thought he’d rid himself of that nightmare.
It must’ve come from passing through the castle seeing what had been broken fixed and whole again. He lowered his wand and he was aware he wasn’t alone. He turned around. It was George. The familiar face was staring into the distance. Lee took in the rumpled clothes, untidy hair, and wished he had been here sooner.
Stupid, stupid, Lee. He’s been here longer than you have. If you’re hearing things after a couple of hours…He couldn’t just stand there staring. Say something, you idiot! And it just happened, he was safe behind a microphone again blabbering away,”And in a completely and unexpected turn of events, Lee Jordan finally decides to show up for this match!”
What the hell did I just say? STUPID. STUPID, IDIOT.
“I must’ve dozed off.” Lee continued in an attempt to make up for the strange opening greeting and trying to gauge whether he was wanted or not. “Literally and figuratively. McGonagall showed mercy, though, so…” He gestured to the socks and shirts half hanging out of his mostly closed trunk. “Yeah.”
It was the only thing he could think of doing, just talking. It had always been what he’d been good at, but now even when had no idea what to say he hoped George would understand that HE understood. If George wasn’t ready to talk about things it was okay. He was here for him now. He hoped George could see past the spewing words…
”…And so, ah, since I saw you last, I visited some of my muggle cousins and it was ridiculous they were obsessed over some blinking thing with a screen. Technology’s all good and fine, but it can’t hold a candle to magic…” The words,the nonsense, just kept on coming. At a certain point, Lee paused for breath before saying, “And if you want me to shut up, just tell me. There’s too much to talk about and if you’d rather I do it in the morning it’s fine.”
Lee just didn’t know. He couldn’t know how it would feel to lose someone he’d known since birth like George had. He’d never admitted it to anyone, but he had always envied the connection Fred and George had…had had with each other. He wished he was a Legilmens, could see how he could make his best mate feel better. Words, words, words. He had definitely felt like Hamlet of late-indecisive, questioning, trying to plan his next move. And he couldn’t decide right now whether those words were welcome or not, but then George looked at him. That was enough. It didn’t matter if he was listening exactly to what he was saying-it was all meaningless nonsense anyway.
George’s words of acknowledgement that they were okay…at least about him being here. Whatever George felt ready for, that’s what Lee would be okay with. He hoped baby steps was the right route. Patience. That’s all he could think to give him.
Lee felt as though everyone just by coming back to Hogwarts had taken a leap and now was the time for smaller steps.
“Are we uh...Roommates?”said George.
Lee knew. Roommates? It had always been the three of them. Quidditch magazines spread out on the floor,scheming and planning at night, putting out mini-explosions, Lee writing down their brilliant ideas and trying to remember what each sweet did what for his own future protection,trying to come up with a sales pitch for their joke shop. Fred, George, and Lee-always those three in those beds.Well, except for when they’d flown off in a literal spectacular blaze of glory. He’d missed them, but he had understood then why they had had to go just as he understood he and George would always wish the third bed in there wasn’t empty.
Lee half-laughed before saying, “As long as you don’t fly away again.”
He hoped it wasn’t too soon to say something like that, but it would be even worst if two beds were empty. It was selfish of him to think of, but the thought was there. And they still had those good memories didn’t they? They still counted. And by Merlin’s beard, he’d make sure George had more good ones in the future.