If Peter was like Neville...
I’ve just had a heartbreaking thought. What if Peter Pettigrew WAS like Neville Longbottom? The difference is he didn’t have the support Neville had.
The war was on. During the school year, he had his friends. He had adventures. He genuinely cared about them. Maybe he was a little envious. Remus was a prefect. He probably had good marks and was able to keep up with James and Sirius. Sirius was bold and outspoken and charismatic and a rebel. He had the strength to stand up to his own family. James’ parents doted on him and spoiled him a little because he was the unexpected blessing-the child who had come to them in their later years. James was a Quidditch player and confident and skilled.
“Hero-worshipped Black and Potter. Never quite in their league, talent-wise. I was often rather sharp with him… Stupid boy… Foolish boy…”-Minerva McGonagall on Pettigrew
Peter needed Sirius and James’ help to become an animagus. If Peter WAS like Neville then his interests weren’t ‘socially acceptable.’ Herbology isn’t ‘cool.’ I’m not sure what Peter’s subject might have been. Still, his friends encouraged him. And he loved them for it. But he was always in their shadow. And he had that seed of doubt about himself.
And if Peter WAS like Neville, then his own family might not have understood where his strengths were.Maybe he had a critical grandmother, too. Only his gran never saw how good and brilliant he could be like Augustus had the chance to with Neville. Maybe Peter’s parents were skilled and beloved just as Neville’s were. Maybe even at home he felt he was in someone’s shadow.
What if, Peter had the potential to be just as brave and good as Neville and the hat saw it…but Peter was never given the chance.
The Death Eaters got to him first.
And after he betrayed his friends, he couldn’t face himself. The guilt ate away at him. He escaped. He didn’t feel as though he deserved to be Peter Pettigrew anymore. He didn’t deserve to be a man.
So he became a rat. Maybe he was trying for penance. Maybe he had been determined to live the rest of his life paying for his worst mistake.
He was worrying himself sick when Sirius escaped from Azkaban. He knew he wanted to kill him. And so he ran again. But he didn’t go directly to Voldemort. He was found in Hagrid’s cabin. He wasn’t loyal to Voldemort. The books made it very clear he only stayed out of fear for his own life.
Then, Sirius and Remus were ready to kill him at the Shrieking Shack. They wouldn’t listen to his pleas:
“Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord… you have no idea… he has weapons you can’t imagine…. I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen…. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me - He - he was taking over everywhere! Wh - what was there to be gained by refusing him?”
Sirius even says,”THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”
Easier said than done. Sirius and James and Remus, to our knowledge were never tortured. Even if Peter wasn’t physically tortured, maybe he was psychologically.Maybe it took a long time. Maybe Peter did try to protect his friends, but he wasn’t as strong as them. Maybe after Hogwarts, without the constant reassurances of his friends and protection of them and teachers…his fear and whatever smaller anxieties and the Death Eaters were just too much.We don’t know what the Death Eaters did.
And so in a way, Peter tried to be brave. But he wasn’t flashy. He wasn’t bold. But he tried.
Yes, Peter returned to Voldemort. He returned after two people he once called friends threatened to kill him. He returned because as Voldemort put it… He had no where else to go.
Originally posted on my tumblr. :)
The war was on. During the school year, he had his friends. He had adventures. He genuinely cared about them. Maybe he was a little envious. Remus was a prefect. He probably had good marks and was able to keep up with James and Sirius. Sirius was bold and outspoken and charismatic and a rebel. He had the strength to stand up to his own family. James’ parents doted on him and spoiled him a little because he was the unexpected blessing-the child who had come to them in their later years. James was a Quidditch player and confident and skilled.
“Hero-worshipped Black and Potter. Never quite in their league, talent-wise. I was often rather sharp with him… Stupid boy… Foolish boy…”-Minerva McGonagall on Pettigrew
Peter needed Sirius and James’ help to become an animagus. If Peter WAS like Neville then his interests weren’t ‘socially acceptable.’ Herbology isn’t ‘cool.’ I’m not sure what Peter’s subject might have been. Still, his friends encouraged him. And he loved them for it. But he was always in their shadow. And he had that seed of doubt about himself.
And if Peter WAS like Neville, then his own family might not have understood where his strengths were.Maybe he had a critical grandmother, too. Only his gran never saw how good and brilliant he could be like Augustus had the chance to with Neville. Maybe Peter’s parents were skilled and beloved just as Neville’s were. Maybe even at home he felt he was in someone’s shadow.
What if, Peter had the potential to be just as brave and good as Neville and the hat saw it…but Peter was never given the chance.
The Death Eaters got to him first.
And after he betrayed his friends, he couldn’t face himself. The guilt ate away at him. He escaped. He didn’t feel as though he deserved to be Peter Pettigrew anymore. He didn’t deserve to be a man.
So he became a rat. Maybe he was trying for penance. Maybe he had been determined to live the rest of his life paying for his worst mistake.
He was worrying himself sick when Sirius escaped from Azkaban. He knew he wanted to kill him. And so he ran again. But he didn’t go directly to Voldemort. He was found in Hagrid’s cabin. He wasn’t loyal to Voldemort. The books made it very clear he only stayed out of fear for his own life.
Then, Sirius and Remus were ready to kill him at the Shrieking Shack. They wouldn’t listen to his pleas:
“Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord… you have no idea… he has weapons you can’t imagine…. I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen…. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me - He - he was taking over everywhere! Wh - what was there to be gained by refusing him?”
Sirius even says,”THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”
Easier said than done. Sirius and James and Remus, to our knowledge were never tortured. Even if Peter wasn’t physically tortured, maybe he was psychologically.Maybe it took a long time. Maybe Peter did try to protect his friends, but he wasn’t as strong as them. Maybe after Hogwarts, without the constant reassurances of his friends and protection of them and teachers…his fear and whatever smaller anxieties and the Death Eaters were just too much.We don’t know what the Death Eaters did.
And so in a way, Peter tried to be brave. But he wasn’t flashy. He wasn’t bold. But he tried.
Yes, Peter returned to Voldemort. He returned after two people he once called friends threatened to kill him. He returned because as Voldemort put it… He had no where else to go.
Originally posted on my tumblr. :)