A Timelord, A Witch, and a Mix-up| Crack!Fic Prompt:Bellatrix meets 10th Doctor
Title:A Timelord,A Witch and a Mix Up
Author:meowbooks
Rating: PG
Words:609
Characters: 10th Doctor, Bellatrix Lestrange
Disclaimer: Nope, nope, I don't own PotC or Doctor Who.
Summary:The 10th Doctor meets Bellatrix Lestrange in the TARDIS. Crack!Fic:Crossover for Doctor Who and Harry Potter
"Hm. Perhaps I should visit good Queen Bess again."said the Doctor.He tossed his brown coat onto his chair. He drummed his fingers on the console. He couldn’t decide. Ood songs. Hah. Oods and their prophecies.He had his TARDIS. He could run as far and long as he wanted.
The cloister bells started tolling. The TARDIS shuddered and the Doctor’s brow furrowed. “What’s wrong, love?”
A cloud of grey ash exploded on his right and he landed on his rump. He coughed, waved a hand, and cleared the air.A woman with wild hair and a battle worn black dress stood above him. She had a slim piece of wood in her hand. Her breaths were short as if she had been running. She inspected herself. And gradually, she was aware of her new surroundings.
Bellatrix spotted the slim, suited man on the grated floor.”Barty?”
"What?How did you-?"The Doctor hopped up and started checking the settings on the TARDIS console. He pulled the monitor towards him and squinted at the screen trying to figure out if he had left the shields down again.
"Why are you dressed like a filthy muggle?"
"Oy, I am very well groomed. Ask anyone-except Queen Elizabeth the Second. Do I barge into your home and criticize what you wear?"He glanced at her clothing."Raggedy-Ann?"
"How dare you?"growled Bellatrix. She drew her wand and turned the Doctor around. She yanked on his tie, pulled him towards her, and poked her wand under his chin."You coward…is this where you’ve been hiding?"
"I take it we’ve met…"said the Doctor. He arched a brow."Oh, I bet that was something.Something to dread, then?"He glanced at the thin piece of wood in her hand.
"You take it we’ve met?"said Bellatrix. She frowned deeper."Did they suck out your soul or what little brains you had?"
"Soul-sucking? Ewww…"He loosened his tie and smoothly ducked under her arm.He turned his back to her and consulted the monitor."Not looking forward to that."
"Am I standing in a muggle machine?"It was buzzing and whirling and beeping and rumbling."That’s disgusting…"Her eyes widened."Am I dead? That bloodtraitor Weasley she-Is this…punishment?I’m a muggle now? Am I going to be like you?"She gestured to him.
"Muggle? Sorry? You’ve been reading too much Harry Potter…"He turned back around. "Oh…"He pointed to himself. "Barty…That was cinema.I was playing a part. And I was rather good at it, too.Good ol’, J.K." He chuckled."You’re a fan, eh?I must have a photo I can sign or something somewhere."The Doctor watched something on his monitor and slowly turned around.
Bellatrix looked at her wand, “Lumos.”No light.She banished her wand at the up and down pulsing thing in the middle of the room.”Reducto!” Nothing happened. She screamed.
"I refuse…to live like this."She drew a knife from her boot."Who is in charge? I’m going to find whoever is responsible for this and I am going to make them beg me to kill them…"
His mood suddenly somber.”You have to go back.You don’t belong here. And I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Bellatrix.”
"What are you talking about?"
"This isn’t your world. Your universe. That’s why your magic won’t work.You have to go back."
"To the battle?"
"Yes."
"Fine. I don’t like it here anyway,"said Bellatrix."Take me back."
"I’m not in charge of that,"he nodded towards the cloud of grey ash that was reforming."You can’t just will yourself out of facing the consequences of your actions."
"Don’t lecture me, Crouch,"said Bellatrix stepping back into the grey and dust.The cloud of ash swallowed her whole before disappearing.
"I wasn’t…I was talking to myself,"said the Doctor.He sighed. "Time to stop running."
Originally posted here.