BBHHS 2000!!!!
This weekend I learned that a lot more people read this thing than I thought. So I'll give some shout outs to all the sweet fuckers that told me I'm entertaining. And I'll even shout out to the buttfaces that just skim for their names (Isaac...yep, thats your shout out)
Colleen R - Congrats on your engagement to Matt! Gorgeous rock. It's too bad that the engagement was followed by 3 weeks without food, water, or bathing...but, hey, not being able to shower for 3 weeks has got to bring a couple closer than ever..actually, maybe u guys kept your distance. I probably would have implemented a "no spooning" rule after about 4 days.
Sara T - It is sooo not creepy that you read this. It was such a treat to see you and your enormous boobs at the reunion on Friday. Seriously, I don't remember you having those in high school but whatev (no, everybody, they aren't fake). And p.s. there were a couple boys that told me they wanted to give you children that night, but I won't write it on here bc I don't want anyone to blush.
P.S. I can't believe you dated my brother, the tortured musician, at Akron! I seriously missed the memo...
Basch - I'm really glad you enjoy reading about how not to put a girl's hand on your Johnson. I will keep the tips coming...
Ben - Happy belated birthday! Hope you were surprised on Sat. Tell your mom that the sloppy Joes were the shit...figuratively and literally...I got the poops pretty bad but its probably because I ate 2 full sandwiches and then skipped the bun and ate about a half pound more with a spoon. I think the physics of sloppy joes require the bun to insulate the colon from having a beef explosion. But yeah, thank her again!
P.S. I really like your outfits lately :-)
Ok Icky, I'll leave you a real message- thanks for agreeing to go to the concert with me, even though you I let you off the hook. I would write something more interesting but I know that I would eventually have to hear you recount it in some horrible voice that sounds nothing like me.
Hudak- sorry I missed you this weekend, but I appreciated Friday's phonecall. You never let ANYTHING slide, do you? (wink)
If I didn't shout you out, its because I was shitcanned Wednesday through Sunday and probably don't remember you mentioning my journal. So leave a comment and I'll get you next time...because everybody likes to see their name in writing :)
P.S. I've been watching a lot of Animal Planet lately and here are some really interesting facts that I have learned:
*Female Rhinos make male Rhinos chase them for up to 3 days before letting them mate. I mean like literally run after them for 3 days. So guys, quit complaining about taking a girl to fuckin dinner, it could be worse....
*Queen Elizabeth the 1st only bathed once every 3 months...and that was considered excessive in those days....Colleen, it could've been worse...
*Giraffes clean their noses out with their tongues. Probably because they don't have fingers to get the boogers into their mouths like we do. Shut up, you know you've done it.
*In the 1970's, a US submarine was forced to retreat back to shore because a cookie cutter shark actually bit through it. Cookie Cutter sharks are the smallest sharks in the world and feed on whales without them even knowing it....little fuckers.
*Prior to 1980, Uranium was used in dentures to give them more shine...and a shitload of radiation to the grill. The proccess ceased when people started growing two-headed fetuses underneath their tongues. Sidenote:Upon discovering an appendage on his lip that all too closely resembled The Ying Yang Twins, Nelly has switched to platinum grills.
*Baby goats are really, really cute.
Nighters!
Colleen R - Congrats on your engagement to Matt! Gorgeous rock. It's too bad that the engagement was followed by 3 weeks without food, water, or bathing...but, hey, not being able to shower for 3 weeks has got to bring a couple closer than ever..actually, maybe u guys kept your distance. I probably would have implemented a "no spooning" rule after about 4 days.
Sara T - It is sooo not creepy that you read this. It was such a treat to see you and your enormous boobs at the reunion on Friday. Seriously, I don't remember you having those in high school but whatev (no, everybody, they aren't fake). And p.s. there were a couple boys that told me they wanted to give you children that night, but I won't write it on here bc I don't want anyone to blush.
P.S. I can't believe you dated my brother, the tortured musician, at Akron! I seriously missed the memo...
Basch - I'm really glad you enjoy reading about how not to put a girl's hand on your Johnson. I will keep the tips coming...
Ben - Happy belated birthday! Hope you were surprised on Sat. Tell your mom that the sloppy Joes were the shit...figuratively and literally...I got the poops pretty bad but its probably because I ate 2 full sandwiches and then skipped the bun and ate about a half pound more with a spoon. I think the physics of sloppy joes require the bun to insulate the colon from having a beef explosion. But yeah, thank her again!
P.S. I really like your outfits lately :-)
Ok Icky, I'll leave you a real message- thanks for agreeing to go to the concert with me, even though you I let you off the hook. I would write something more interesting but I know that I would eventually have to hear you recount it in some horrible voice that sounds nothing like me.
Hudak- sorry I missed you this weekend, but I appreciated Friday's phonecall. You never let ANYTHING slide, do you? (wink)
If I didn't shout you out, its because I was shitcanned Wednesday through Sunday and probably don't remember you mentioning my journal. So leave a comment and I'll get you next time...because everybody likes to see their name in writing :)
P.S. I've been watching a lot of Animal Planet lately and here are some really interesting facts that I have learned:
*Female Rhinos make male Rhinos chase them for up to 3 days before letting them mate. I mean like literally run after them for 3 days. So guys, quit complaining about taking a girl to fuckin dinner, it could be worse....
*Queen Elizabeth the 1st only bathed once every 3 months...and that was considered excessive in those days....Colleen, it could've been worse...
*Giraffes clean their noses out with their tongues. Probably because they don't have fingers to get the boogers into their mouths like we do. Shut up, you know you've done it.
*In the 1970's, a US submarine was forced to retreat back to shore because a cookie cutter shark actually bit through it. Cookie Cutter sharks are the smallest sharks in the world and feed on whales without them even knowing it....little fuckers.
*Prior to 1980, Uranium was used in dentures to give them more shine...and a shitload of radiation to the grill. The proccess ceased when people started growing two-headed fetuses underneath their tongues. Sidenote:Upon discovering an appendage on his lip that all too closely resembled The Ying Yang Twins, Nelly has switched to platinum grills.
*Baby goats are really, really cute.
Nighters!