a birth of a NEW FIC (?)
Hey guys,
After a year of having no inspiration in writing a fanfic... i was struck with inspiration last Nov. 1 when i searched our computer for some music,i come across this hidden folder of my cousin Kip... lo and behold! a porn video! *lol*... okay so that's not the only content of the folder, the folder also have a subforlder that have this collection of sentimental/ mushy music like "Come what may" and "Broken Vow of Lara Fabian" *lol*... you see, my cousin is not the sentimenatl type of person, so i was laughing out load when i discovered his secret music collection...blackmail material .*evil smirk*
So now, my inspiration comes from this two songs: Come what May of Nicole kidman and Ewan Mc Gregor and Broken Vow of Lara Fabian...
So i angst myself with this fic. please tell me if it suck and help me Beta it.. this is my first time writing for this fandom,i 'm intending this fic to be a Tezu/Fuji for owangekid_lei but it became a Harry/ Draco instead.. *lol*
Title: *still working on the title...*
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Harry/ Draco, Harry/ Ginny *WTF???*
Warning: a bit OOC, DracoAngst,UnBETAed
A/N: For owangekid_lei for the inspiration... *lol*, fileroom anyone?!
How the fuck can he smile whole heartedly when he’s with her? How can he laugh like that when I’m suffering here on my own? How can he abandon me like that and see him looking at her the way he looked at me when we are still together.
How can he let this fragile feeling of ours fade away like nothing. Burying it in the past, to pursue a future with out me. Living his life as what we both dreamed living together. But not with me, but with her.
But still, staying here near you, just a desk away from you. I can see you looking at her eyes while she tells you how good her day was. I can hear your laugh, it’s still the same as it used to be when we would laugh at nonsensical things about our day. You are holding her hand now, kissing the back of her hand while her eyes glazed because of this simple sweet act.
My heart is being crushed into pieces right now, I can still remember he first time you have done that to my hand. You told me that they are beautiful, elegant looking and the type that can make a man grow a temporary hand fetish if they saw them. I laugh out loud on your remark, but I know you’re serious when you kissed my fingertips slowly one by one, cradling them softly in your hands while repeating to me how beautiful my hands really is and how you appreciate them.
You often accused me of being cold and unfeeling bastard. I made it clear to you from the start of this complicated relationship that I’m like that, but you said you’ll accept me because love conquers all. Yeah right, That’s what I said when you told me those words, but did you know that those declarations of love that you would often tell me, I would keep them in my heart. Here inside the small deepest part of my heart, I treasure them there, and up to now its’ still alive in me. Still fresh like in my memory as if you just uttered them last night before we part in our usual hotel room.
Everything’s going to be alright. That’s your motto in our relationship, since we are both male and you’re the boy-who- fucking- lived and I’m a pureblood Malfoy , naturally our relationship should be keep hidden. No dates for us in famous restaurants or holding hands while walking under the snow nor sharing a kiss under a tree in a sunny day. Those mushy couple stuffs that I keep on denying to try with you.
Damn it ,Potter. You made me like this, you made me feel again. You made me live a life were love is possible and pain, sorrow and despair is non existent. You made me believe that we can both have a future, a happy future that will last a lifetime. Then you just disappear. With out explanation or trace.
Only to come back a year, a married man to a Weasley. Ginny Weasley. The girl that always idoloizes Harry Potter, the no 1. fan. The trophy wife. Even if it hurts me to admit it, You both looked so fucking good with each other A perfect relationship. Your atmosphere of love is blocking my ability to eat anymore. I don’t know if I want to hurl or just choke here in my seat. My eyes are tearing up because of this unexplainable feeling.
I know you are aware of me looking at you, of me still staying here beside you. An unrequited love, as a Malfoy this is not permitted because we are the ones that is being chased and not the other way around. But as always you are a special case, like back in our Hogwarts days. But I don’t know if you aware that I’m slowly fading away from your life, or did you stop caring about me the night you left me alone in that alley.
I will never surrender this feeling Potter. Never give up until I learn the truth about why you left me alone in alley that night. I have waited for you like what you have told me that night, I have kept my word that I will be faithful for you even if pretty boys paraded in front of me naked and willing. I endured all those sleepless nights, the call of desire I tried to suppress and masturbated myself to soreness while thinking that the hands caressing my erection is yours, smelling the shirt that you accidentally left in my place, intoxicating myself with your smell.
You are starting to clean up your desk , it’s already 5 now, how time flew past. I don’t know if you glancing at me is accidental but I can feel your eyes at me for a minute when Ginny greets an acquaintance. It’s still the same burning hot look that you would always give me when your inside me, trusting your cock deep inside me until you came in me. Did you know that glance is a dead giveaway for me Potter? You still like me, you still find me lustful.
Now tell me how can I give you up when I know in my mind that you are concealing your feelings from me. That you ignoring me like I don’t exist but looking at me like that when you thought I was unaware.
I can’t hate you Potter, maybe with words, but not in my heart. You have my heart Potter, you take it with you when you left me. I just hope you will give it back to me now, or maybe in your own time.
Don’t worry Potter, I would wait for you… maybe it’s now my turn to suffer since you have done that for me before. Maybe it’s my punishment, but my redemption is coming closer now.
You are walking away from me now, with her right beside you. Surprisingly, I smiled at her back because her days are numbered, you will come back to me Potter. Married or not, you belong to me. And I know it because you glance at me right before you closed the door… with the same burning look that you have given me when you’re inside me.
Oh, Potter… I will surely find out about it, and will have you back because your mine. This time, no running away from me again.
___________________________
Uwaaahhhh..
What do you think?? Please tell me if it sucks...
Blame Kip’s mushy sentimental mp3 collection… curiosity kills the cat. LOL
Jureez… you have to poke me again to write the second part.. *lol*
After a year of having no inspiration in writing a fanfic... i was struck with inspiration last Nov. 1 when i searched our computer for some music,i come across this hidden folder of my cousin Kip... lo and behold! a porn video! *lol*... okay so that's not the only content of the folder, the folder also have a subforlder that have this collection of sentimental/ mushy music like "Come what may" and "Broken Vow of Lara Fabian" *lol*... you see, my cousin is not the sentimenatl type of person, so i was laughing out load when i discovered his secret music collection...blackmail material .*evil smirk*
So now, my inspiration comes from this two songs: Come what May of Nicole kidman and Ewan Mc Gregor and Broken Vow of Lara Fabian...
So i angst myself with this fic. please tell me if it suck and help me Beta it.. this is my first time writing for this fandom,i 'm intending this fic to be a Tezu/Fuji for owangekid_lei but it became a Harry/ Draco instead.. *lol*
Title: *still working on the title...*
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Harry/ Draco, Harry/ Ginny *WTF???*
Warning: a bit OOC, DracoAngst,UnBETAed
A/N: For owangekid_lei for the inspiration... *lol*, fileroom anyone?!
How the fuck can he smile whole heartedly when he’s with her? How can he laugh like that when I’m suffering here on my own? How can he abandon me like that and see him looking at her the way he looked at me when we are still together.
How can he let this fragile feeling of ours fade away like nothing. Burying it in the past, to pursue a future with out me. Living his life as what we both dreamed living together. But not with me, but with her.
But still, staying here near you, just a desk away from you. I can see you looking at her eyes while she tells you how good her day was. I can hear your laugh, it’s still the same as it used to be when we would laugh at nonsensical things about our day. You are holding her hand now, kissing the back of her hand while her eyes glazed because of this simple sweet act.
My heart is being crushed into pieces right now, I can still remember he first time you have done that to my hand. You told me that they are beautiful, elegant looking and the type that can make a man grow a temporary hand fetish if they saw them. I laugh out loud on your remark, but I know you’re serious when you kissed my fingertips slowly one by one, cradling them softly in your hands while repeating to me how beautiful my hands really is and how you appreciate them.
You often accused me of being cold and unfeeling bastard. I made it clear to you from the start of this complicated relationship that I’m like that, but you said you’ll accept me because love conquers all. Yeah right, That’s what I said when you told me those words, but did you know that those declarations of love that you would often tell me, I would keep them in my heart. Here inside the small deepest part of my heart, I treasure them there, and up to now its’ still alive in me. Still fresh like in my memory as if you just uttered them last night before we part in our usual hotel room.
Everything’s going to be alright. That’s your motto in our relationship, since we are both male and you’re the boy-who- fucking- lived and I’m a pureblood Malfoy , naturally our relationship should be keep hidden. No dates for us in famous restaurants or holding hands while walking under the snow nor sharing a kiss under a tree in a sunny day. Those mushy couple stuffs that I keep on denying to try with you.
Damn it ,Potter. You made me like this, you made me feel again. You made me live a life were love is possible and pain, sorrow and despair is non existent. You made me believe that we can both have a future, a happy future that will last a lifetime. Then you just disappear. With out explanation or trace.
Only to come back a year, a married man to a Weasley. Ginny Weasley. The girl that always idoloizes Harry Potter, the no 1. fan. The trophy wife. Even if it hurts me to admit it, You both looked so fucking good with each other A perfect relationship. Your atmosphere of love is blocking my ability to eat anymore. I don’t know if I want to hurl or just choke here in my seat. My eyes are tearing up because of this unexplainable feeling.
I know you are aware of me looking at you, of me still staying here beside you. An unrequited love, as a Malfoy this is not permitted because we are the ones that is being chased and not the other way around. But as always you are a special case, like back in our Hogwarts days. But I don’t know if you aware that I’m slowly fading away from your life, or did you stop caring about me the night you left me alone in that alley.
I will never surrender this feeling Potter. Never give up until I learn the truth about why you left me alone in alley that night. I have waited for you like what you have told me that night, I have kept my word that I will be faithful for you even if pretty boys paraded in front of me naked and willing. I endured all those sleepless nights, the call of desire I tried to suppress and masturbated myself to soreness while thinking that the hands caressing my erection is yours, smelling the shirt that you accidentally left in my place, intoxicating myself with your smell.
You are starting to clean up your desk , it’s already 5 now, how time flew past. I don’t know if you glancing at me is accidental but I can feel your eyes at me for a minute when Ginny greets an acquaintance. It’s still the same burning hot look that you would always give me when your inside me, trusting your cock deep inside me until you came in me. Did you know that glance is a dead giveaway for me Potter? You still like me, you still find me lustful.
Now tell me how can I give you up when I know in my mind that you are concealing your feelings from me. That you ignoring me like I don’t exist but looking at me like that when you thought I was unaware.
I can’t hate you Potter, maybe with words, but not in my heart. You have my heart Potter, you take it with you when you left me. I just hope you will give it back to me now, or maybe in your own time.
Don’t worry Potter, I would wait for you… maybe it’s now my turn to suffer since you have done that for me before. Maybe it’s my punishment, but my redemption is coming closer now.
You are walking away from me now, with her right beside you. Surprisingly, I smiled at her back because her days are numbered, you will come back to me Potter. Married or not, you belong to me. And I know it because you glance at me right before you closed the door… with the same burning look that you have given me when you’re inside me.
Oh, Potter… I will surely find out about it, and will have you back because your mine. This time, no running away from me again.
___________________________
Uwaaahhhh..
What do you think?? Please tell me if it sucks...
Blame Kip’s mushy sentimental mp3 collection… curiosity kills the cat. LOL
Jureez… you have to poke me again to write the second part.. *lol*