One
title: One
pairing: donghae/henry.
genre: romance
summary: Donghae doesn't understand the concept of '15' and '13', and Henry doesn't understand why they're so far apart.
a/n: a quick drabble for liz and ayla! written in ten minutes, and that's pretty fast for me, if i do say so myself. /not an ELF nor do i know much about super junior besides the fact that henhae is perfect, so forgive me if some of this is inaccurate or not written well./
Only one. One concert he's allowed to attend, one night he's allowed with his boyfriend after months of separation, one day to enjoy being with Super Junior once again.
It starts at Super Show 4 in Shanghai.
And when the stage dims and Henry walks on stage, he can't say he's surprised, but the silence still catches him, nonetheless. After a few quick songs, Henry isn't ushered, isn't forced, isn't pushed off stage: he runs off.
It isn't a direct order from Lee Soo Man or the managers or concert producers, but a habit he acquired during the past few years.
The rule: once the lights are off, run.
The moral support of an understanding friend always used to be there in the form of Zhou Mi, where they'd grab each others hands and escape from the spotlight as if they were convicts. They wouldn't bother watching the concert; they'd go to their waiting rooms and eat snacks and talk about if they hadn't come to that certain concert.
But the Henry at this concert was alone, and ran off the stage alone. Sudden flashbacks appeared here and there during each concert, and he remembers each scene vividly, specifically the times of performing his violin solo during 'Don't Don' (the blank stares, the black audience, disapproving yelling and the roaring crowds when he departed off the stage, discarded like a pawn in chess, except not as useful).
And the Henry at this concert had no friend to sit in the waiting room to eat boxes of pocky sticks or play video games with.
Watching the performances wasn't a privilege he felt he deserved. He'd notice Donghae checking to the side quite a numerous times, (worried, quick glances, but nothing the ELFs could detect) and Henry would give a quick, cheeky smile and mouth 'I'm okay'.
He goes around the stage with utmost caution to not step off the main stage or go nearly close to the savages of the audience, making sure to keep at least a five foot radius between the edge of the stage and the tips of his toes. And from that limited area, he'd watch Donghae go around and around in circles, accepting bows and signs, taking pictures and smiling to his fans. Seldom he'd cross Henry's path, but when he did, his face lighted up like no other (it helped, mildly). He'd give that reassuring smile, and Henry wanted to smile back-but he couldn't dare, and only nods.
The next time Donghae visits him, it's with the purpose and determination to make the night somehow less worse than it already was. Donghae's fans go hush-hush, waiting in anticipation to see whom he was walking to and jeers when they see his stride is directed to Henry. He does all he could, but not as much as he can.
And Henry understands.
But he still doesn't deserve the opportunity to smile and walk alongside Donghae.
The last time Donghae visits is with Siwon, both exchanging anxious glances, in contrast to Henry's blank, monotone stare.
Henry had no problem with Donghae appreciating his fans. Henry had no problem with the entire Super Junior appreciating their fans. It was only natural they would. But what he hated was not a person, not the fans, not SM. It was the number '13'.
What was special about it anyway? It was a number. Was the number '13' so engraved and stamped inside ELFs' hearts that they couldn't even accept two more members? Two more people in their hearts? Was '15' that intolerable to them?
Truly, he doesn't even hate the number '13'. He hates the connotation of it. He couldn't hate his friends, he couldn't hate the love they receive; he had nothing to blame it on, so he stuck his shame with the number '13' and swallowed his pride (or what was left from the '13ers' cutting and shredding it to thin sheets of nothing). It almost killed him how the eyes of ELFs were when they knew of his presence. They might even kill him if he let them.
Henry watches as Donghae and Eunhyuk gleefully joke around stage, except Donghae had not much of a realistic or believable smile (in his opinion, but ELFs never caught on that night). He watches as they pose for EunHae fans, staging 'adorable' and 'scream-worthy' interactions for the ELFs to take pictures of and write witty captions underneath, like: "eunhae forever together!!!"
Later on, Donghae and Siwon are attached by the hip, going around the stage and smiling (much to ELF's delight). Secretly, they both had mentally picked out all the '13ers' and burned their signs into oblivion. 'Forever 13'? What a joke. The simple idea of only accepting thirteen people in their lives gave them an annoyance that was indescribable, more on Siwon's part.
Siwon, with his own hate of '13' engulfing him, gave the most poster, bright smile he could manage through his clenched teeth, fangs showing. And Donghae could only slightly frown (so that ELFs wouldn't notice) at Siwon's evident facade, and the fact that they all had to hide their secret emotions or the fans would claw the Zhou Mi's and Henry's eyes and skin off (could he still call them fans?).
Donghae always looked behind his shoulder whenever convenient to sneak a look at Henry. Henry never looked up from the points of his shoes once.
All Donghae wants to do it slip his arms around Henry's waist, lock in place with Henry's
torso like they always used to on stage (it was almost as if puzzled together by fate, in Donghae's opinion) and sway back and forth while whispering silly things. Asking how he enjoyed the show (although he knew the answer each time, Henry conceived a quick lie to try to refute Donghae's thoughts), and laughing into Henry's broad shoulder. Or when Donghae would breathe hot sighs on the back of the neck, shooting sensitive shivers through and through.
But can't, otherwise ELFs might as have well crawled onto the stage and thrown Henry into the audience as sacrifice. Which, Donghae was sure they would have done.
Donghae never understood the point of '13'. His heart was neither with '13' or '15', but rather, '1'. '1' as in one family, one group, one super junior, one thing he loved more than life itself in this world, and one thing only: "And that's you." Donghae whispers into Henry's ear in the van as they drive back to the hotel, followed by a peck on the cheek. Only one.
pairing: donghae/henry.
genre: romance
summary: Donghae doesn't understand the concept of '15' and '13', and Henry doesn't understand why they're so far apart.
a/n: a quick drabble for liz and ayla! written in ten minutes, and that's pretty fast for me, if i do say so myself. /not an ELF nor do i know much about super junior besides the fact that henhae is perfect, so forgive me if some of this is inaccurate or not written well./
Only one. One concert he's allowed to attend, one night he's allowed with his boyfriend after months of separation, one day to enjoy being with Super Junior once again.
It starts at Super Show 4 in Shanghai.
And when the stage dims and Henry walks on stage, he can't say he's surprised, but the silence still catches him, nonetheless. After a few quick songs, Henry isn't ushered, isn't forced, isn't pushed off stage: he runs off.
It isn't a direct order from Lee Soo Man or the managers or concert producers, but a habit he acquired during the past few years.
The rule: once the lights are off, run.
The moral support of an understanding friend always used to be there in the form of Zhou Mi, where they'd grab each others hands and escape from the spotlight as if they were convicts. They wouldn't bother watching the concert; they'd go to their waiting rooms and eat snacks and talk about if they hadn't come to that certain concert.
But the Henry at this concert was alone, and ran off the stage alone. Sudden flashbacks appeared here and there during each concert, and he remembers each scene vividly, specifically the times of performing his violin solo during 'Don't Don' (the blank stares, the black audience, disapproving yelling and the roaring crowds when he departed off the stage, discarded like a pawn in chess, except not as useful).
And the Henry at this concert had no friend to sit in the waiting room to eat boxes of pocky sticks or play video games with.
Watching the performances wasn't a privilege he felt he deserved. He'd notice Donghae checking to the side quite a numerous times, (worried, quick glances, but nothing the ELFs could detect) and Henry would give a quick, cheeky smile and mouth 'I'm okay'.
He goes around the stage with utmost caution to not step off the main stage or go nearly close to the savages of the audience, making sure to keep at least a five foot radius between the edge of the stage and the tips of his toes. And from that limited area, he'd watch Donghae go around and around in circles, accepting bows and signs, taking pictures and smiling to his fans. Seldom he'd cross Henry's path, but when he did, his face lighted up like no other (it helped, mildly). He'd give that reassuring smile, and Henry wanted to smile back-but he couldn't dare, and only nods.
The next time Donghae visits him, it's with the purpose and determination to make the night somehow less worse than it already was. Donghae's fans go hush-hush, waiting in anticipation to see whom he was walking to and jeers when they see his stride is directed to Henry. He does all he could, but not as much as he can.
And Henry understands.
But he still doesn't deserve the opportunity to smile and walk alongside Donghae.
The last time Donghae visits is with Siwon, both exchanging anxious glances, in contrast to Henry's blank, monotone stare.
Henry had no problem with Donghae appreciating his fans. Henry had no problem with the entire Super Junior appreciating their fans. It was only natural they would. But what he hated was not a person, not the fans, not SM. It was the number '13'.
What was special about it anyway? It was a number. Was the number '13' so engraved and stamped inside ELFs' hearts that they couldn't even accept two more members? Two more people in their hearts? Was '15' that intolerable to them?
Truly, he doesn't even hate the number '13'. He hates the connotation of it. He couldn't hate his friends, he couldn't hate the love they receive; he had nothing to blame it on, so he stuck his shame with the number '13' and swallowed his pride (or what was left from the '13ers' cutting and shredding it to thin sheets of nothing). It almost killed him how the eyes of ELFs were when they knew of his presence. They might even kill him if he let them.
Henry watches as Donghae and Eunhyuk gleefully joke around stage, except Donghae had not much of a realistic or believable smile (in his opinion, but ELFs never caught on that night). He watches as they pose for EunHae fans, staging 'adorable' and 'scream-worthy' interactions for the ELFs to take pictures of and write witty captions underneath, like: "eunhae forever together!!!"
Later on, Donghae and Siwon are attached by the hip, going around the stage and smiling (much to ELF's delight). Secretly, they both had mentally picked out all the '13ers' and burned their signs into oblivion. 'Forever 13'? What a joke. The simple idea of only accepting thirteen people in their lives gave them an annoyance that was indescribable, more on Siwon's part.
Siwon, with his own hate of '13' engulfing him, gave the most poster, bright smile he could manage through his clenched teeth, fangs showing. And Donghae could only slightly frown (so that ELFs wouldn't notice) at Siwon's evident facade, and the fact that they all had to hide their secret emotions or the fans would claw the Zhou Mi's and Henry's eyes and skin off (could he still call them fans?).
Donghae always looked behind his shoulder whenever convenient to sneak a look at Henry. Henry never looked up from the points of his shoes once.
All Donghae wants to do it slip his arms around Henry's waist, lock in place with Henry's
torso like they always used to on stage (it was almost as if puzzled together by fate, in Donghae's opinion) and sway back and forth while whispering silly things. Asking how he enjoyed the show (although he knew the answer each time, Henry conceived a quick lie to try to refute Donghae's thoughts), and laughing into Henry's broad shoulder. Or when Donghae would breathe hot sighs on the back of the neck, shooting sensitive shivers through and through.
But can't, otherwise ELFs might as have well crawled onto the stage and thrown Henry into the audience as sacrifice. Which, Donghae was sure they would have done.
Donghae never understood the point of '13'. His heart was neither with '13' or '15', but rather, '1'. '1' as in one family, one group, one super junior, one thing he loved more than life itself in this world, and one thing only: "And that's you." Donghae whispers into Henry's ear in the van as they drive back to the hotel, followed by a peck on the cheek. Only one.