fic: my world is a lie that's come true
Fandom: Fringe
Characters: Peter, Walter, Olivia...The main trio
A/N: I thought I would fiddle around with perspective here since I've gotten so comfortable in 2nd person. Thanks to Joy for helping me with this one. You're the best wife anyone could ever have.
i fell in love with you
but i know that's just a sky
i don't know where i go
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Peter was always looking for something. When he was young, it was his father. On the shore in a weathered beach house, he’d wait up Friday nights, falling asleep against the cold window pane, just so he could catch a glimpse of him pulling up into the driveway. He’d wake up Saturday mornings to the smell of pancakes.
Peter wonders when he grew to dislike the taste of pancakes. He’s sure that it was some time after his father went into the institution (but memories seem to fail him now more than ever).
When his father disappears for good, Peter does too. After almost two decades of being second place, he finally succeeds in becoming completely invisible. Peter was looking to leave himself behind until one day when he was pulled back in the complete opposite direction.
Physics is a bitch.
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The return back to reality hurts more than it should. After all, Peter has spent half his life convincing himself that he is someone else. And yet, deep down he knows he has always been chasing what is now on his doorstep - his past - even though the thought of it scares him half to death.
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Peter has been in Boston for almost one month when he knows it’s time to go. One thing Peter was never looking for was trouble and this city and job and the people involved have trouble written all over them. Peter considers this to be fair. He tells her he stayed because he pitied her; truthfully if it had been anyone else but her, he would have been gone as soon as the first case wrapped. He tells her he is leaving, even though part of him is still unsure (this has never happened before, he is always sure, always). But then he is kidnapped and things change.
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Peter was always looking for something. Suddenly, that something is answers. Answers to all the questions he has pondered in his life and can never seem to work out with his genius mind or copious reading.
The next day, he catches himself staring at her, scrutinizing, studying. Peter wonders when she became one of the questions.
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Peter was never looking for a family, but now that he has one, he can’t help but think that this was there he has always belonged (he admitted this reluctantly at first).
It’s a Friday night. Peter is no longer waiting. He falls asleep on a couch to the sound of Walter mumbling some odd formula. He wakes up Saturday mornings to the whirling noise of a blender and the nauseating smell of another one of Walter’s concoctions. In some ways, Peter likes this even better then pancakes.
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Peter no longer has to study her. He knows all the answers except for one, possibly the most important one. But he gets it. He’s guarded too.
He knows the way she takes her coffee, the way her forehead gets those deep creases when she’s been doing paperwork for too long. He knows eight shots is her limit and that when she wants to relax she watches old movies on TV.
He’s not sure when it started. All he knows is that every day he longs to reach out to her, but she only sometimes gives him the chance. Peter thinks he may be falling in love with her and suddenly none of the other questions seem to matter anymore.
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Peter wasn’t looking for her, but she found him. The world was being ripped apart all around him, all around her, but he seemed to suddenly be shifting into place. As he leaned in to touch her lips, her skin warm underneath his fingertips and her breath hot on his face, he wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t stopped running.
Instead it was her turn to run. The promise of what could be was left in the space between.
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Peter finally has his answer. They’re going for drinks. They both say it’s not a date, but he knows and she knows it is. However, he doesn’t know that this won’t be the only question answered that night.
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He’s from Over There, and suddenly it all makes sense. Peter finds he has all the answers even though he no longer cares about the questions. Now he is looking for a door - a door into a new life, a new world, any place where he can start over and forget.
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Peter was always looking for something. It’s only one day after he starts running that he realizes he’s looking for a reason to stay.