Yawn-inducing detail on sleep

[menthe_reglisse]

I am having a patch of experiencing LB's sleep as very hard to cope with. This is partly because it is actually quite bad at the moment, but largely because I go back to work in 2 1/2 weeks, which is going to be very tough on this little sleep (and indeed less, since I will have to get up earlier).

Since I'm a semi-empiricist, one of the ways I've been dealing with this is by generating data to analyse (other ways include whining a lot, frantically re-re-reading all my babycare books, feeling sorry for myself, drinking lots of coffee, eating lots of chocolate and occasionally Officially Reaching the End of My Tether). I've been keeping a detailed record of his sleep for the last 10 days, and these are the findings:

• On 5 days he woke for the day before 6am. The other 5 days were before 7am.
• He nearly always has 2 naps. The first of these is reasonably consistently 3 1/2 hours after he wakes for the day. I didn't know that - my perception was that it was completely all over the place. I knew that it was no longer 2 hours after he woke, but the time he wakes is so variable (5.20 - 7am) that that obscured the pattern. Hooray for systematic data.
• The length of that naps varies wildly from 15 minutes (when rudely awakened by PB) to 2 hours 10 minutes. It was between 45 minutes and 1 1/4 hours long on 6 days.
• He then has a second nap fairly consistently 3 - 3 1/2 hours after waking from the first nap. But because of the different times he wakes, and has his first nap, when this starts varies from 12.40 - 4 (but was around 1pm on 5 days).
• This second nap is usually the longer one (over 1 1/2 hours on 6 days, but 45 mins or less on the other 4 days)
• He's usually awake between 3 and 4 until bedtime.
• He goes to bed later than I think. Because we start his bedime routine at 6.30, and he used to go to sleep very easily, I think he's asleep by 7, but it was 7.30 or later on every day but one.
• He wakes on average 3.6 times a night (not counting waking up the final time for the day).  On 2 nights he woke 5 times and on 1 only twice.
• The first waking was between 10 and 10.45pm on 5 days. 3 days it was before then.  2 days I managed to do a dreamfeed when I went to bed.
• The second waking varied between 9.30 and 4.10.  On 4 days it was between midnight and 12.30.
• The third waking varied between 11.25 and 5.35. On 5 days it was at 2am ish
• The 4th waking the data is too messy and small to generalise.
• His commonest nighttime pattern is; asleep 7.30, wakes 10.30, 12.30 and 2.30, wakes for the day at 5.30. That is rubbish for a nearly 10 month old. In fact, you could reasonably hope for better from a newborn.
• The two best nights were the ones subsequent to him sustaining a blow to the head.

Conclusions I draw from this:

• That might, perhaps, go some way toward explaining this odd persistent feeling of lassitude and general lack of well-being
• His naps are too chaotic. Sleep gurus reckon that reasonably regular daytime naps help with nighttime sleep.
• The habit I have got into (for many, at the time, good reasons) of always breastfeeding him to sleep, is making it worse (the theory is that how they go to sleep is how they expect to go back to sleep when they stir in the night. I think if you're lucky you can get away with always bfing to sleep and they still sleep well, but I'm not lucky. Certainly with PB the thing that really improved his sleep about 6 month ago was getting him to a stage where he could go to sleep alone, rather than in Daddy's arms).
• Clearly I need to drop him on his head regularly

Strategies I am going to employ, for a week, then reassess:

• Transition him from sleeping in the hammock to sleeping in a cot. He's nearly too big for the hammock anyway, so it's got to be done (also he'll have to sleep in a cot at nursery), and there's a slim chance it may improve his sleep.
• Try to get to get him to sleep in other ways that are not self-settling - sling and buggy, just to increase his range. This feels like the only way I can get his nap times more regular because our days are too variable for him to have a daytime routine where he sleeps in his cot. And even that's not going to help much because he's much too interested in the world to want to sleep, and wails at being put into the sling. I think regular naps is a bit of pipe dream. But I will try.
• ETA: Try to create a better lead-in to naps. At the moment it's only the cues of dim room and white noise on, then breastfeeding is the main thing. I've tried reading books and massage, but both seem too exciting/annoying to him. Will try singing with him in my arms, since he likes that, and try to think of other things too.
• Really work hard on getting him to self-settle as well. Do the Pantley Pull Off really consistently (I have been trying, but a bit half-heartedly). Then work my way along the whole gradual withdrawal route. Push him as hard as I can down the stairs at each stage. This is difficult because my usual reaction if I put him down and he cries out is 'oh no, I put him down too soon', but doing this means reinterpreting that as 'this is okay, I'm pushing against his limits. The fact that I now have to pick him up and bf him again is time consuming, but it's because I'm trying to change things'.
• Offer more frequent daytime breastfeeds when he's not sleepy (don't think this'll work, he's just not interested unless he's tired).
• Try to get him to eat more solids (again, don't think this'll work. He eats when he wants, and I'm not up for stuffing it into him).
• Consider trying again to reintroduce a dummy. I did try this and it just woke him up as he chewed vigorously on it, so I gave up, but it's a possibility.
• Try to get him to bed earlier, since that sometimes helps, according to my gurus. This is tricky because of the impact on teatime and everyone else, but worth trying.
• Prioritise this over everything else for the rest of my maternity leave. It doesn't matter if PB watches hours of cbeebies while I'm settling LB for naps. It doesn't matter if I don't get any of the domestic things done. It doesn't even matter if I don't get the little bit of work I'm doing done, I can always catch up once I'm back at work.
• Oh and not forgetting, drop him on his head regularly

Right, I feel a bit better for having a plan. Now to implement it. *Determined face*