sometimes the clouds are as beautiful as the stars... right now they're not.
Oh my god.
Friday was awesome, I walked around so freaking much though. Right after school I had my dancing audition for the musical. mwaha. that was hillarious. Who knew they could they could put heal-clicking and bird-arm flapping in the same dance? After that I had to walk home with my saxophone, which was a huge pain in the ass. Then when I got home I took a nap an went out with Joe all over creation. We went to the bridge over winton lake and preformed a lovely musical called "Flight of the Moltres" hahaha, it was really lamely awesome.
Saturday I got to see who got what part for the musical and I got a part that I wanted! I'm Silly Girl 1 (One of Gaston's hoes in Beauty and the Beast). Kyle was bitter and upset because he got Cogsworth and he wanted Lumiaire or the Beast or Gaston. I tried to make him feel better for a while, but I couldn't really do much so I just left him to his bruding. I went shopping with Josie and we made Valentines Cards until 10 or so, when I went home and Kelly came over and was really upset. I stayed the night with her and came home around 9.
So yeah, from Sunday 11:30ish my mom, dad, and I went shopping. I bought underwears ;). I stopped in to see Joe at work and I heard the worst news I've heard ever. He told me that Kyle made out with Allison Russle. I was floored. I just started crying in the middle of cold stone. I'm glad my parents weren't there.. I was just so upset. I still am a little. a lot. When I went home I asked Kyle about it. I freezed myself so I'd be able to take anything he said. He said that there's something different about her than there was when he was a freshman. He is a senior now. I just told him I couldn't talk to him fo the time being. That I needed time to cool off. But he just wouldn't leave me alone. I told him I was just feeling too much to say anything to him at all. If I started talking I would say something I would regret and I just couldn't deal with him. He told me to pretend he was someone else. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't say anything to him. I was just so angry and so hurt I couldn't holt the mouse and I couldn't type. I just logged off. Everyone left the house. I screamed and I cried. Harder than I ever have before. Choking over my own breaths I couldn't even call anyone. No one was home. No one was there. I had never felt so alone in my life.
I finially got a hold of Josie and it took everything to make myself understandable. She came over and I tried to talk. I couldn't say much. But it felt good to have someone next to me who I knew would be constant and not leave. I couldn't stay in that house anymore so we decided to walk up to riley's and get some 75 cent pie. We invited Julian to come along and for a while I could pretend I was happy, even if I could feel that horrible looming sense of doom behind my eyes.
So.. Sunday ruined my weekend, but it's getting better. I can feel it getting better. He's tried so hard to try to make me feel better. trying to be funny, trying to cheer me up. It helped my mood, but nothing else. Today he gave me a ride home and he just looked in my eyes with this sort of desperiate look to try and say he was sorry without admitting verbally he was wrong.
I told Leanne everything that's happened with him since November. She's not even that close to me and she said that after all I've been through with him he should know that he's slowly killing me. But I told him to do whatever makes him happy and I can't really go against my word.
Sometime I'll post the whole story, otherwise it won't ever be clear what he's done.
Friday was awesome, I walked around so freaking much though. Right after school I had my dancing audition for the musical. mwaha. that was hillarious. Who knew they could they could put heal-clicking and bird-arm flapping in the same dance? After that I had to walk home with my saxophone, which was a huge pain in the ass. Then when I got home I took a nap an went out with Joe all over creation. We went to the bridge over winton lake and preformed a lovely musical called "Flight of the Moltres" hahaha, it was really lamely awesome.
Saturday I got to see who got what part for the musical and I got a part that I wanted! I'm Silly Girl 1 (One of Gaston's hoes in Beauty and the Beast). Kyle was bitter and upset because he got Cogsworth and he wanted Lumiaire or the Beast or Gaston. I tried to make him feel better for a while, but I couldn't really do much so I just left him to his bruding. I went shopping with Josie and we made Valentines Cards until 10 or so, when I went home and Kelly came over and was really upset. I stayed the night with her and came home around 9.
So yeah, from Sunday 11:30ish my mom, dad, and I went shopping. I bought underwears ;). I stopped in to see Joe at work and I heard the worst news I've heard ever. He told me that Kyle made out with Allison Russle. I was floored. I just started crying in the middle of cold stone. I'm glad my parents weren't there.. I was just so upset. I still am a little. a lot. When I went home I asked Kyle about it. I freezed myself so I'd be able to take anything he said. He said that there's something different about her than there was when he was a freshman. He is a senior now. I just told him I couldn't talk to him fo the time being. That I needed time to cool off. But he just wouldn't leave me alone. I told him I was just feeling too much to say anything to him at all. If I started talking I would say something I would regret and I just couldn't deal with him. He told me to pretend he was someone else. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't say anything to him. I was just so angry and so hurt I couldn't holt the mouse and I couldn't type. I just logged off. Everyone left the house. I screamed and I cried. Harder than I ever have before. Choking over my own breaths I couldn't even call anyone. No one was home. No one was there. I had never felt so alone in my life.
I finially got a hold of Josie and it took everything to make myself understandable. She came over and I tried to talk. I couldn't say much. But it felt good to have someone next to me who I knew would be constant and not leave. I couldn't stay in that house anymore so we decided to walk up to riley's and get some 75 cent pie. We invited Julian to come along and for a while I could pretend I was happy, even if I could feel that horrible looming sense of doom behind my eyes.
So.. Sunday ruined my weekend, but it's getting better. I can feel it getting better. He's tried so hard to try to make me feel better. trying to be funny, trying to cheer me up. It helped my mood, but nothing else. Today he gave me a ride home and he just looked in my eyes with this sort of desperiate look to try and say he was sorry without admitting verbally he was wrong.
I told Leanne everything that's happened with him since November. She's not even that close to me and she said that after all I've been through with him he should know that he's slowly killing me. But I told him to do whatever makes him happy and I can't really go against my word.
Sometime I'll post the whole story, otherwise it won't ever be clear what he's done.