Awkward-town sometimes though. Plus ah Facebook, linking people up in the strangest of ways. Granted my facebook page kind of shows me not taking myself very seriously half the time.
My own experiences involved both isolation and talking behind my back and regular girly bitchiness among other things. I also was very easily triggered in general. But that's just my experience, it's probably different for everyone and mine wasn't really the stuff of nightmares you sometimes hear- but it feels more important at the time when it happens of course, and it's more of a long term deal.
Sure it... could have pushed me to the edge I'll admit (even if most of the previous steps to it were due to the fact I was already secretly VERY messed up).
But hey in your case (and mine), they're probably the only ones who should feel awkward at all- you didn't do anything to really warrant it so...
But it's not something they'd teach in ediquette class 'how does one meet and greet a former tormentor in ones childhood'?. If there is still such a thing as such a class.
It just doesn't seem worth the effort in my case. I guess.
Heck, quite a few of the people didn't/haven't always had the best life after school either when I think on them, granted I hear stories on the fly and do have facebook so, yeah. About the closest I got was to someone who was a pretty crummy 'friend' at school and used me for homework though I'm not sure that counts. Way I see it- if they change and things go better, great sure, people can change, or you know grow up. If they are still horrible they probably drive people away as the others grow up or become more poisonous and only keep with equally poisonous people, who wants to deal with that? (Unless say they're hurting other people). I mean large amounts of poison only makes you popular in high school because...well HIGH SCHOOL**. I'd maybe pity them... I mean yeah there are some things worth keeping in childhood (cartoons for one and the fun stuff) but yeah that would be... kind of sad really when you think about it- keeping that same stupid attitude as they had and never maturing. And it would be a little pathetic too. So woo, I'd actually pity them a bit.
**Unless you decide to become a politition I guess. -Hay-yo, what an ~original~ joke-
Things change though, people can change after all, can be difficult at points. People shouldn't be told they 'have' to let go of stuff and people have the right to be a little mad. That stuff can take time and differs from person to person.
But hey, progress is progress and you shouldn't sell yourself short at all dude. But screw expectations, we go at our own pace and we'll hopefully find the place we want to be.
Kids can do stupid shit though overall- I more or less thought stupid shit and acted stupid too just in a different way. We were kids to be fair. And puberty is natures dick move on us- it's turned up to 11. And heck to be fair it wasn't THAT long ago (you're 20 right? I'm 23, we're not even a decade out really).
It's hard to know what to say to it all, everyone one has had a different experience to it, and heck a fair few people have been on both sides of it.
It's hard to know what to say in those situations, the good stories include the guy who kind of went nuts in the fundie sort of way for a while but came out and is happier and better now than he was on my end. It's not very comforting in the case of people who did get screwed up though in whatever way.
Hind-sight is also 20-20 though, especially looking back at childhood when you're a bit older. We can't know everything though or perhaps have realised how our minds would have changed on things and all or the outcomes, there's no cheatsheet really. If I could go back I wouldn't give as much of a damn on some things and give more of a damn about other things. Perspectives are hard sometimes but in high school it's even more difficult. Brain is more often "ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME. Status in highschool is VERY important for some reason. Me?"
But we can only really go forward in the end. And see where we messed up back then I guess.
My own experiences involved both isolation and talking behind my back and regular girly bitchiness among other things. I also was very easily triggered in general. But that's just my experience, it's probably different for everyone and mine wasn't really the stuff of nightmares you sometimes hear- but it feels more important at the time when it happens of course, and it's more of a long term deal.
Sure it... could have pushed me to the edge I'll admit (even if most of the previous steps to it were due to the fact I was already secretly VERY messed up).
But hey in your case (and mine), they're probably the only ones who should feel awkward at all- you didn't do anything to really warrant it so...
But it's not something they'd teach in ediquette class 'how does one meet and greet a former tormentor in ones childhood'?. If there is still such a thing as such a class.
It just doesn't seem worth the effort in my case. I guess.
Heck, quite a few of the people didn't/haven't always had the best life after school either when I think on them, granted I hear stories on the fly and do have facebook so, yeah. About the closest I got was to someone who was a pretty crummy 'friend' at school and used me for homework though I'm not sure that counts. Way I see it- if they change and things go better, great sure, people can change, or you know grow up. If they are still horrible they probably drive people away as the others grow up or become more poisonous and only keep with equally poisonous people, who wants to deal with that? (Unless say they're hurting other people). I mean large amounts of poison only makes you popular in high school because...well HIGH SCHOOL**. I'd maybe pity them... I mean yeah there are some things worth keeping in childhood (cartoons for one and the fun stuff) but yeah that would be... kind of sad really when you think about it- keeping that same stupid attitude as they had and never maturing. And it would be a little pathetic too. So woo, I'd actually pity them a bit.
**Unless you decide to become a politition I guess. -Hay-yo, what an ~original~ joke-
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
But hey, progress is progress and you shouldn't sell yourself short at all dude. But screw expectations, we go at our own pace and we'll hopefully find the place we want to be.
Kids can do stupid shit though overall- I more or less thought stupid shit and acted stupid too just in a different way. We were kids to be fair. And puberty is natures dick move on us- it's turned up to 11. And heck to be fair it wasn't THAT long ago (you're 20 right? I'm 23, we're not even a decade out really).
It's hard to know what to say to it all, everyone one has had a different experience to it, and heck a fair few people have been on both sides of it.
It's hard to know what to say in those situations, the good stories include the guy who kind of went nuts in the fundie sort of way for a while but came out and is happier and better now than he was on my end. It's not very comforting in the case of people who did get screwed up though in whatever way.
Hind-sight is also 20-20 though, especially looking back at childhood when you're a bit older. We can't know everything though or perhaps have realised how our minds would have changed on things and all or the outcomes, there's no cheatsheet really. If I could go back I wouldn't give as much of a damn on some things and give more of a damn about other things. Perspectives are hard sometimes but in high school it's even more difficult. Brain is more often "ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME. Status in highschool is VERY important for some reason. Me?"
But we can only really go forward in the end. And see where we messed up back then I guess.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment