Under Estimated and Under Pressure
If Chris saw the real me i know he'd be scared. If he saw what I could do and what i could make happen he's be dazzled. If he could only understand what goes on in my mind he's be overwhelmed. Unfortunately, he cannot see all this. He cannot see and he cannot understand because he is not inside me. He will never be if he is never curious. And he isn't. He hasn't been truthfully curious about what goes on in my life for quite some time and i sense the end is near. I no longer have the mental ability to deal with him and his issues though now the focus of our arguments is my issues. It hurts me so much to know that its "my fault" that we argue. Chris and I shouldn't be together emotionally.
I've recently started talking to my therapist again. She said Chris and i are both the type of people that need support and alone time. Obviously that means that we shouldn't be involved with each other, which Dr. Brown was very explicit about telling me. Chris and I shouldn't be together psychologically.
For quite some time now it has hurt me that he doesn't trust me and that i can't trust him. He doesn't respect me though i treat him with the highest of respects. I give him my all and he complains and balks at the idea of me asking for something minor. The burden and pressure of all the disagreement makes my body ill. I throw up at the end of every day i spend with him. It is needless to mention that this is crippling to my health. Chris and I shouldn't be together physically.
My conclusion is grim and it hurts me deeply. I know he won't really do anything to stop this so i don't know why i try.
I've recently started talking to my therapist again. She said Chris and i are both the type of people that need support and alone time. Obviously that means that we shouldn't be involved with each other, which Dr. Brown was very explicit about telling me. Chris and I shouldn't be together psychologically.
For quite some time now it has hurt me that he doesn't trust me and that i can't trust him. He doesn't respect me though i treat him with the highest of respects. I give him my all and he complains and balks at the idea of me asking for something minor. The burden and pressure of all the disagreement makes my body ill. I throw up at the end of every day i spend with him. It is needless to mention that this is crippling to my health. Chris and I shouldn't be together physically.
My conclusion is grim and it hurts me deeply. I know he won't really do anything to stop this so i don't know why i try.