on the asocial intellectual (a personal text)
i'm basically, so fucking sick of implications that hunter or i (typically grouped cause we're friends, and both have casual sex sometimes or used to, and drink) aren't intellectuals somehow because- what, exactly? because we aren't so burrowed into our studies that we have social personalities that are frankly different from our intellectual ones? or perhaps- that our studies are incomprehensible to most people so that we don't bother bringing them up? In fact, almost all truly intellectual people i've known have this problem, ryan carter in cville too, that one is somehow typecast as superficial because one prefers to live at warp speed than as a choking virgin in a garden of poison ivy! kochmal, admittedly these are opinions of ugly girls and bitter boys, but then again thats what makes the world goes round, so. here is a statement i'd blare off a favela rooftop if it was short and precise enough:
what about fearing human beings makes someone intellectual? is it not possible that intellectuality ought to include a willingness to sacrifice the self and ego to unchecked diversity of experience? is it possible that one can go beyond catholic assumptions and conclude that perhaps there are reasons for exploration of sexuality and the social for reasons beyond hedonism- for example, a desire to understand more (both in quantity and quality) human beings? is it possible that it can be understand, that a lack of constant pedantry at fiestas and so forth doesn't preclude a thinking person? what the fuck am i expected to do, constantly go about talking about rem koolhaas and quoting in french and alluding to stephen shore? i'll save that for my art history papers, and at parties, i will only (only! as if this was in some way inferior, or even equal in value, to being a snide wallflower bemoaning the lack of psuedo-intelligent indie flavor of the week nonsense and stilted jokes made by the socially untalented!) introduce a vernacular music heretofore unknown, (of course, this doesnt connect to a populism in popular culture that goes to great depth as well as breadth- my popular culture isn't constructed on britney spears, but on the hotmix five and mille plateaux, and doesnt stop there but realizes that the label mille plateauyx is a stupid allusion to an essay by guattari), socially engage the otherwise shy, and remain open to shocking and upsetting experiences of life!
i'm honestly, so fucking tired of the concept of a marxist (or whatever stupid bullshit label you poorly-read suburban morons use) who 1, in no way in particular, has abandoned a consumerist, socially reactionary (eg reactionary views on sexuality, sparsity of interest in foriegn cultures, etc) and egoistical, introverted worldview and totally refuses to apply the smallest political idea of your own to your life (for example, marxists dont wear mall brand jeans, bros- you can do it if you want but then at least, say postmodernist or i dotn know just fucking know your stuff) 2, for some reason can find it anything less than a gaping contradiction, to accuse people who are so committed to the human project that they are constantly doing all possible to approach the human (and in both hunter and I's cases, and for that matter ryan's, that involves both extensive, personal interaction with foriegn cultures (plural) at no small emotional or financial cost, extensive and deep knowledge of a wide variety of languages, cultural spheres, theories, etc etc, and furthermore a constant dedication to human interaction!
so the next stupid slut who wore LEI jeans in springfield VA in high school who tells me hunter, someone who went to paris because of henry miller and hemingway, someone who lends me books by hal foster, is too FRATTY, or the next person who makes slights against ryan that are basically homophobic (he's silly! he is sexually open in a way i can't bring myself to be! etc) or the next person who blatantly makes allusions to a lack of respect for myself- well, i'll not confront you, probably; not because i am not confrontational, but because these cavedwelling types aren't the types to take criticism without secret tears (and more importantly, a failure to grasp the real reason for such a response). however, you'll have reneged claims to my respect (as anyone who disrespects me or my friends must expect)and that, i think, is no inconsiderable thing; as to whether it is or not, we can evaluate in a few years time where i am and where you are; or even, just, your upset feelings when i deliberately dont invite you to parties i am throwing and tell white lies about how i forgot.
remember, just because someone is confident doesn't mean they are invulnerable. just because i can admit i am at times arrogant doesnt mean my arrogance exceeds those who cannot or will not admit the same about themselves. just because i don't let them bother me, doesn't mean slights go unnoticed.
what about fearing human beings makes someone intellectual? is it not possible that intellectuality ought to include a willingness to sacrifice the self and ego to unchecked diversity of experience? is it possible that one can go beyond catholic assumptions and conclude that perhaps there are reasons for exploration of sexuality and the social for reasons beyond hedonism- for example, a desire to understand more (both in quantity and quality) human beings? is it possible that it can be understand, that a lack of constant pedantry at fiestas and so forth doesn't preclude a thinking person? what the fuck am i expected to do, constantly go about talking about rem koolhaas and quoting in french and alluding to stephen shore? i'll save that for my art history papers, and at parties, i will only (only! as if this was in some way inferior, or even equal in value, to being a snide wallflower bemoaning the lack of psuedo-intelligent indie flavor of the week nonsense and stilted jokes made by the socially untalented!) introduce a vernacular music heretofore unknown, (of course, this doesnt connect to a populism in popular culture that goes to great depth as well as breadth- my popular culture isn't constructed on britney spears, but on the hotmix five and mille plateaux, and doesnt stop there but realizes that the label mille plateauyx is a stupid allusion to an essay by guattari), socially engage the otherwise shy, and remain open to shocking and upsetting experiences of life!
i'm honestly, so fucking tired of the concept of a marxist (or whatever stupid bullshit label you poorly-read suburban morons use) who 1, in no way in particular, has abandoned a consumerist, socially reactionary (eg reactionary views on sexuality, sparsity of interest in foriegn cultures, etc) and egoistical, introverted worldview and totally refuses to apply the smallest political idea of your own to your life (for example, marxists dont wear mall brand jeans, bros- you can do it if you want but then at least, say postmodernist or i dotn know just fucking know your stuff) 2, for some reason can find it anything less than a gaping contradiction, to accuse people who are so committed to the human project that they are constantly doing all possible to approach the human (and in both hunter and I's cases, and for that matter ryan's, that involves both extensive, personal interaction with foriegn cultures (plural) at no small emotional or financial cost, extensive and deep knowledge of a wide variety of languages, cultural spheres, theories, etc etc, and furthermore a constant dedication to human interaction!
so the next stupid slut who wore LEI jeans in springfield VA in high school who tells me hunter, someone who went to paris because of henry miller and hemingway, someone who lends me books by hal foster, is too FRATTY, or the next person who makes slights against ryan that are basically homophobic (he's silly! he is sexually open in a way i can't bring myself to be! etc) or the next person who blatantly makes allusions to a lack of respect for myself- well, i'll not confront you, probably; not because i am not confrontational, but because these cavedwelling types aren't the types to take criticism without secret tears (and more importantly, a failure to grasp the real reason for such a response). however, you'll have reneged claims to my respect (as anyone who disrespects me or my friends must expect)and that, i think, is no inconsiderable thing; as to whether it is or not, we can evaluate in a few years time where i am and where you are; or even, just, your upset feelings when i deliberately dont invite you to parties i am throwing and tell white lies about how i forgot.
remember, just because someone is confident doesn't mean they are invulnerable. just because i can admit i am at times arrogant doesnt mean my arrogance exceeds those who cannot or will not admit the same about themselves. just because i don't let them bother me, doesn't mean slights go unnoticed.