"Advice To Newcomers" column
So I have this semi-regular column in our local Mensa newsletter, called "Advice to Newcomers". I've written four columns so far, and I'm sure there's more to write about but my inspiration is starting to fade.
I want to post them here to get your feedback and your suggestions for what next. I'd also like a clearer idea on what is specific to my local group, and what's done more universally. But I don't want to clog everyone's friends list, so I'll do them one day at a time. Ready?
Advice to Newcomers
Congratulations! You've joined Mensa, read some of the letters to the editor printed in the latest Bulletin, and received a local newsletter or two. Maybe you joined Mensa just to prove you could. Maybe you want to help promote the study of intelligence, or assist gifted children. Maybe you want to socialize and network. How can you start getting more out of your membership?
Start by getting involved! Attend something, anything that strikes your fancy. You don't have to come alone - your family members and other guests are always welcome. (If an event is not appropriate for children, it will be designated NC in the newsletter.) Take your spouse out to a nice leisurely brunch with Brunch SIG, or bring the teenagers along to hear the speaker at a Monthly Meeting. Of course, you do not need to bring a guest. Many single members welcome the chance to go out to nice restaurants, movies, and other venues with a group instead of on their own. Why let life pass you by! Try a gourmet dining experience with Dinner SIG.
If you go to a meeting held at a restaurant and you don't know anyone there, just ask the waiter for the Mensa table, or ask for the person who is hosting the SIG. SIG meetings and excursions held in other locations will almost always specify a gathering point; but if you contact the organizers first and let them know that you are coming, they will look for you too.
Sometimes a meeting notice will specify that you are to bring a "snack to share". Bring something that does not need to be re-heated or chilled, something that can be eaten with the fingers. You can't go wrong with a bag of miniature chocolate bars (chocolate is brain food!), but all kinds of snacks are good for sharing. How about a dozen washed plums, or a bag of corn chips with a jar of salsa dip? Bring your own special home-made canapés, if you'd like, or a tray of fresh-baked brownies. You could even bring a bag of White Castle belly bombers. And if you find yourself rushing straight from work to a meeting without enough time to pick up a snack, don't worry. Nobody will turn you away from the door! (It would be gracious to donate a few dollars to the group or to the host, though, to do your part to help cover expenses.)
Once you are at a meeting, introduce yourself. Go up to someone and say, "Hi, I'm So and So and I'm new." If you hide in the back of the room or sit just quietly, most people will respect what they think is your desire to be left alone. There are a lot of Mensans who love to party and mingle, but many Mensa members are introverts. This doesn't mean that they don't like people; it's just that they prefer small groups and people they know to large gatherings of strangers. Introverts may appear stand-offish at first, until they get to know you. If you yourself are uncomfortable being with a lot of people you don't know, try going to smaller get-togethers at first, like Newcomers SIG or Card SIG.
Come to at least four meetings, to gain a broader perspective of the varied things that Mensans are interested in. Stay to help clean up, and you will no longer be seen as just a new face - you will be considered a valued member indeed!
I want to post them here to get your feedback and your suggestions for what next. I'd also like a clearer idea on what is specific to my local group, and what's done more universally. But I don't want to clog everyone's friends list, so I'll do them one day at a time. Ready?
Advice to Newcomers
Congratulations! You've joined Mensa, read some of the letters to the editor printed in the latest Bulletin, and received a local newsletter or two. Maybe you joined Mensa just to prove you could. Maybe you want to help promote the study of intelligence, or assist gifted children. Maybe you want to socialize and network. How can you start getting more out of your membership?
Start by getting involved! Attend something, anything that strikes your fancy. You don't have to come alone - your family members and other guests are always welcome. (If an event is not appropriate for children, it will be designated NC in the newsletter.) Take your spouse out to a nice leisurely brunch with Brunch SIG, or bring the teenagers along to hear the speaker at a Monthly Meeting. Of course, you do not need to bring a guest. Many single members welcome the chance to go out to nice restaurants, movies, and other venues with a group instead of on their own. Why let life pass you by! Try a gourmet dining experience with Dinner SIG.
If you go to a meeting held at a restaurant and you don't know anyone there, just ask the waiter for the Mensa table, or ask for the person who is hosting the SIG. SIG meetings and excursions held in other locations will almost always specify a gathering point; but if you contact the organizers first and let them know that you are coming, they will look for you too.
Sometimes a meeting notice will specify that you are to bring a "snack to share". Bring something that does not need to be re-heated or chilled, something that can be eaten with the fingers. You can't go wrong with a bag of miniature chocolate bars (chocolate is brain food!), but all kinds of snacks are good for sharing. How about a dozen washed plums, or a bag of corn chips with a jar of salsa dip? Bring your own special home-made canapés, if you'd like, or a tray of fresh-baked brownies. You could even bring a bag of White Castle belly bombers. And if you find yourself rushing straight from work to a meeting without enough time to pick up a snack, don't worry. Nobody will turn you away from the door! (It would be gracious to donate a few dollars to the group or to the host, though, to do your part to help cover expenses.)
Once you are at a meeting, introduce yourself. Go up to someone and say, "Hi, I'm So and So and I'm new." If you hide in the back of the room or sit just quietly, most people will respect what they think is your desire to be left alone. There are a lot of Mensans who love to party and mingle, but many Mensa members are introverts. This doesn't mean that they don't like people; it's just that they prefer small groups and people they know to large gatherings of strangers. Introverts may appear stand-offish at first, until they get to know you. If you yourself are uncomfortable being with a lot of people you don't know, try going to smaller get-togethers at first, like Newcomers SIG or Card SIG.
Come to at least four meetings, to gain a broader perspective of the varied things that Mensans are interested in. Stay to help clean up, and you will no longer be seen as just a new face - you will be considered a valued member indeed!