I got a job.
I don't want to say too much about it just yet because they haven't sent me the official offer email yet, though I can't imagine that they'd screw me like that. But it's a good job, even if I have to start as a temp to prove my worth initially.
But essentially, someone was finally able to look past my mediocre references and spotty work history and give me a chance. I can't blow this one.
But for now, I drink. Really good beer. Made in Belgium. By a brotherhood that has spent the last thousand years doing nothing but glorifying God and perfecting the art of brewing.