How I Learned to Hate My Fucking Bank
I'm back from SXSW and I'll have a nice big update when I return to the IC, but before I go to sleep I've got to get this little anecdote off my chest.
I hate my bank. I try my best to tolerate inconviniences, it's a character flaw. I stayed with them after they charged me $20 in overdrafts, than another $20 after a month old check went through shortly after I paid off the previous overdraft. I stayed with them after they sent my notices and bills to addresses I hadn't lived at in months or years. But their latest fuck up has me looking for a reason, any reason why I shouldn't close my account and pick another bank.
So imagine my surprise, when in the middle of my vacation in Austin, after spending the last of my on-hand cash I go to use my debit card. Oh noes! It doesn't seem to be working. Maybe I need to transfer some more to checking, I'll go to an ATM. Oh double noes! It doesn't work on an ATM... I seem to be stuck in a city 20 hours from my bank's nearest branch without any money.
Well a quick phonecall the next day and I was able to learn that there had been some security problems at my bank and so they sent everyone new cards... except for me since (despite obviously having my current address for mailing purposes) they didn't have my address. So, rather than make any effort to contact me their first instinct was to simply cancel the card. After a long conversation I was lucky enough to get them to reinstate the card through Sunday (I expressly said, through Sunday) and for a while, things were fine.
Then I went to the Austin Airport today. There were no problems, I bought some peanut M&Ms and some gum for the first part of the trip back without incident... then I arrived at O'Hare, and having recently received a fat paycheck and completed my first solo vacation, I decided to treat myself to a really nice meal while I waited for my flight to Dubuque. I had a nice juicy burger, delicious crispy fries, and a yummy slice of cheesecake. Then the bill came and I handed over my card (the card that worked without incident no more than 3 hours ago).
DECLINED, PICK UP CARD
Code for "This card has been cancelled, the person using it is probably an identity thief".
Well needless to say that's when things got interesting. And when I say interesting I mean my life briefly went to shit.
I spent a half hour being yelled at by the restaurant manager, being accused of trying to dine and dodge as well as identity theft (worst day ever to have 'Michael McKinlay' on my license and 'Misha McKinlay' on my card), and being... I kid you not... threatened with arrest by both the manager, and a Chicago police officer! It was only by sheer quick wit and the trust of the otherwise furious manager that I was finally able to work an arrangement with the manager at the restaurant where I will send him a personal check for *sigh* twice the cost of my bill.
So, long story short. After going through the irritating process of convincing my bank to reinstate my "old" card while I was out of cash, hungry, and several hundred miles away... they then go and deactivate my card AGAIN, not 48 hours later right as I'm walking into a fucking restaurant and place an order for a burger. I nearly wound up in the Cook County jail and unless my bank gives me a damn good reason not to I'm closing my account tomorrow.
I hate my bank. I try my best to tolerate inconviniences, it's a character flaw. I stayed with them after they charged me $20 in overdrafts, than another $20 after a month old check went through shortly after I paid off the previous overdraft. I stayed with them after they sent my notices and bills to addresses I hadn't lived at in months or years. But their latest fuck up has me looking for a reason, any reason why I shouldn't close my account and pick another bank.
So imagine my surprise, when in the middle of my vacation in Austin, after spending the last of my on-hand cash I go to use my debit card. Oh noes! It doesn't seem to be working. Maybe I need to transfer some more to checking, I'll go to an ATM. Oh double noes! It doesn't work on an ATM... I seem to be stuck in a city 20 hours from my bank's nearest branch without any money.
Well a quick phonecall the next day and I was able to learn that there had been some security problems at my bank and so they sent everyone new cards... except for me since (despite obviously having my current address for mailing purposes) they didn't have my address. So, rather than make any effort to contact me their first instinct was to simply cancel the card. After a long conversation I was lucky enough to get them to reinstate the card through Sunday (I expressly said, through Sunday) and for a while, things were fine.
Then I went to the Austin Airport today. There were no problems, I bought some peanut M&Ms and some gum for the first part of the trip back without incident... then I arrived at O'Hare, and having recently received a fat paycheck and completed my first solo vacation, I decided to treat myself to a really nice meal while I waited for my flight to Dubuque. I had a nice juicy burger, delicious crispy fries, and a yummy slice of cheesecake. Then the bill came and I handed over my card (the card that worked without incident no more than 3 hours ago).
DECLINED, PICK UP CARD
Code for "This card has been cancelled, the person using it is probably an identity thief".
Well needless to say that's when things got interesting. And when I say interesting I mean my life briefly went to shit.
I spent a half hour being yelled at by the restaurant manager, being accused of trying to dine and dodge as well as identity theft (worst day ever to have 'Michael McKinlay' on my license and 'Misha McKinlay' on my card), and being... I kid you not... threatened with arrest by both the manager, and a Chicago police officer! It was only by sheer quick wit and the trust of the otherwise furious manager that I was finally able to work an arrangement with the manager at the restaurant where I will send him a personal check for *sigh* twice the cost of my bill.
So, long story short. After going through the irritating process of convincing my bank to reinstate my "old" card while I was out of cash, hungry, and several hundred miles away... they then go and deactivate my card AGAIN, not 48 hours later right as I'm walking into a fucking restaurant and place an order for a burger. I nearly wound up in the Cook County jail and unless my bank gives me a damn good reason not to I'm closing my account tomorrow.