(no subject)
It's happening. It's really happening.
I don't want to bother you with it, really I don't, but I don't know, Rabastan. I think I'm losing my mind. I don't know if I can handle it! I've been planning for months but I don't know what to do anymore and it'll be happening in only a few days!
You're the only person I can talk to and I know it isn't fair, that it's cruel of me to do this to you, but I just needed to tell somebody. Besides my elf, I mean - she's sympathetic, of course, but dumb as a box of Gobstones and it's really not the same. I don't even know what there is to tell besides that I'm so afraid. I don't think I've been this frightened in my life! Even that time Sirius pushed me into the lake by the manor that summer and I almost drowned before everyone realized I couldn't swim.
I'm babbling. I'm sorry.
My wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of my life! Why am I so nervous! Ever since I realized how soon it all is I've been breaking things all over the house. Mother is giving me the strangest looks, I've never been one for clumsiness... Father seems to understand, at least a little bit, but obviously I can't talk to him about it.
It's so cruel for me to write Rabastan, considering... you know, considering that the woman he was going to marry is dead now and then I told him I love him and I do love him but I'm marrying Lucius and I care about Lucius and I think I'll be happy with him, it's a good match but it isn't
It isn't what I thought would happen! Though I don't know what I thought would happen. I've known my marriage would be like this since I was a child and it never bothered me... Maybe because I always secretly hoped that I would still get the fairy-tale ending after all.
I don't know. I'm a silly girl like they all say, I ought to stop worrying myself about it. This is a good thing for me and for my family. I'm doing what I was born to do.
I don't want to bother you with it, really I don't, but I don't know, Rabastan. I think I'm losing my mind. I don't know if I can handle it! I've been planning for months but I don't know what to do anymore and it'll be happening in only a few days!
You're the only person I can talk to and I know it isn't fair, that it's cruel of me to do this to you, but I just needed to tell somebody. Besides my elf, I mean - she's sympathetic, of course, but dumb as a box of Gobstones and it's really not the same. I don't even know what there is to tell besides that I'm so afraid. I don't think I've been this frightened in my life! Even that time Sirius pushed me into the lake by the manor that summer and I almost drowned before everyone realized I couldn't swim.
I'm babbling. I'm sorry.
My wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of my life! Why am I so nervous! Ever since I realized how soon it all is I've been breaking things all over the house. Mother is giving me the strangest looks, I've never been one for clumsiness... Father seems to understand, at least a little bit, but obviously I can't talk to him about it.
It's so cruel for me to write Rabastan, considering... you know, considering that the woman he was going to marry is dead now and then I told him I love him and I do love him but I'm marrying Lucius and I care about Lucius and I think I'll be happy with him, it's a good match but it isn't
It isn't what I thought would happen! Though I don't know what I thought would happen. I've known my marriage would be like this since I was a child and it never bothered me... Maybe because I always secretly hoped that I would still get the fairy-tale ending after all.
I don't know. I'm a silly girl like they all say, I ought to stop worrying myself about it. This is a good thing for me and for my family. I'm doing what I was born to do.