On the Clock (1/1), Insurance Commercials
Title: On the Clock
Fandom: Insurance Commercials (Progressive, Allstate, Geico)
Characters & Pairings: implied Flo/Mayhem, Gecko
Rating & Warnings: T
Word Count: 1,000
Genre: UST, Humor
Summary: “Oh, for the love of the thousands of drivers that have saved money by switching to Geico, would you get a bloody room already?"
Original post date: December 21, 2010
Author's Notes: For allthingsholy. Happy Yuletide! When I saw your Yuletide letter, I *knew* this story had to be written. Thank you for the inspiration and I hope you enjoy this cracktastic and (hopefully) fun story!
Originally posted on AO3
“You’re two hours late to your shift. Again.” There was no mistaking the amusement in her voice.
Mayhem turned from the time clock to see Flo, with her perfectly styled hair and pressed white apron, looking at him with a mock frown on her face. “And you’re fifteen minutes early. Like normal.” Mayhem stepped up to the computer and clocked in. “We all can’t be good little campers and show up to our jobs on time every day.”
“Maybe you should,” argued Flo, setting her cup of coffee on the desk next to him. “It would make your boss’ life easier if you did.”
“Make someone’s life easier? Me?” He laughed. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, I have found that you attract more flies with honey than vinegar,” she said with a bright smile. She looked at him and noticed the large mirror he was holding for the first time. “Do I even want to know what trouble are you going to cause today?”
He picked up his mirror and directed the light at Flo’s eyes, causing her to squint and turn away. “I was thinking about aiming the glare of the sun right at the drivers as they try to make their way home from a long, hard day of work.” He grinned. “There’s nothing like finding some sucker on the road with cut rate name your own price insurance and ruining his day.”
Flo narrowed her eyes. “I’ll have you know that the ability to name your own price is a great service for our customers. In fact, Progressive is the leader in--”
“Can it. I’ve heard your gimmick before,” Mayhem interrupted. He picked up her cup of coffee and took a drink. “It’s your ‘Name Your Own Price’ crap that screws people over when a little Mayhem decides to come their way. Not that I mind.”
“Well,” Flo said defensively, crossing her arms, “maybe if you didn’t cause so many problems, people wouldn’t have to worry about mayhem.”
He set down the coffee cup. “You know me,” he rumbled, reaching out and running a finger down her cheek, “I can’t help but to be bad.”
She took a step back, studying him for several seconds before flashing him a grin. “Anyone can be good,” she countered. “I just think maybe you just need a little sunshine in your life.”
“I don’t think so,” he replied, shaking his head. “Besides, a woman like you crave a little mayhem in your life.”
Flo rolled her eyes. “Please, don’t flatter yourself. Someone like me does not want someone like you ruining their day.”
“About their night?” he leered.
“No, not that either.”
“I’m not buyin’ it,” he said before taking a step closer to her. “I know you haven’t always been a goody goody. I know what you were like before all your ‘Progressive is awesome’ lifestyle,” Mayhem shot back with a wicked grin on his face.
Flo froze, her smile gone. “What are you talking about?”
Sensing his advantage, he leaned close to her ear. “My buddy Chaos told me about your previous…adventures.” The low rumble of his voice tickled her. “I have to say that if what he said about you is true, I’m pretty impressed.”
Flo took a step back and shook her head. She looked at him wide-eyed. “That was a different time in my life. I’ve changed. There’s no room for mayhem in my life anymore.” Though she tried to sound convincing, there was a longing in her voice that was impossible to ignore.
“There’s always room for a little mayhem,” he replied, invading her personal space again. “It’s good for you.”
“Good for me?” she repeated.
“You know it’s tempting,” he replied.
“You know, Mayhem, I think I’m the one tempting you. Seeing me and all my predictability is like a siren’s call for you.” She stepped forward and ran her hand over his red tie. “But, honey, I’m far too much for you to handle.”
He covered her hand with his own. With his other hand, he reached out and cupped her chin, tilting it towards his face. “I’d be willing to try.” He smirked. “You know how much I like a challenge.”
She flashed him a knowing smile. “I’m sure you do,” she said.
“Oh, for the love of the thousands of drivers that have saved money by switching to Geico, would you get a bloody room already? I’m starting to choke on the sexual tension between the two of you.”
The two of them jumped apart and turned around where the Geico gecko was standing with his arms crossed. He slowly blinked his eyes. “Yes. You two.”
“We were just talking,” Flo weakly argued.
“If that was just talking then I’m Godzilla,” the gecko replied, rolling his eyes.
“You know, the green lizard--” Mayhem started before the amphibian spoke up.
“Gecko.”
“Gecko has a point. So, what do you say? Wanna meet up after your shift?” He smiled. “It could be a lot of fun. For the both of us.”
Flo shook her head and flashed him a sweet smile. “I’ll have to pass, Mayhem. I prefer to just flirt with danger. Not date it.”
He flashed her a grin, knowing he had been out-manuevered by her. “Same time tomorrow?”
“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she replied with a wink. Before she walked away, she placed a kiss on his cheek. Then she sauntered through the door marked “PROGRESSIVE” without turning back.
The gecko looked at Mayhem then to the door where Flo had gone and back to Mayhem. He ran up the side of the desk to get closer to eye level with the man standing next to him. “You probably already know this, but you are one lucky bastard.”
Mayhem grinned and picked up his mirror. “I know.” He walked to the Allstate door. “Now it’s time to cause some trouble.”
As soon as the door closed, the gecko sighed. “And of course, I have to get stuck with some old guy as my constant sidekick.”
Fandom: Insurance Commercials (Progressive, Allstate, Geico)
Characters & Pairings: implied Flo/Mayhem, Gecko
Rating & Warnings: T
Word Count: 1,000
Genre: UST, Humor
Summary: “Oh, for the love of the thousands of drivers that have saved money by switching to Geico, would you get a bloody room already?"
Original post date: December 21, 2010
Author's Notes: For allthingsholy. Happy Yuletide! When I saw your Yuletide letter, I *knew* this story had to be written. Thank you for the inspiration and I hope you enjoy this cracktastic and (hopefully) fun story!
Originally posted on AO3
“You’re two hours late to your shift. Again.” There was no mistaking the amusement in her voice.
Mayhem turned from the time clock to see Flo, with her perfectly styled hair and pressed white apron, looking at him with a mock frown on her face. “And you’re fifteen minutes early. Like normal.” Mayhem stepped up to the computer and clocked in. “We all can’t be good little campers and show up to our jobs on time every day.”
“Maybe you should,” argued Flo, setting her cup of coffee on the desk next to him. “It would make your boss’ life easier if you did.”
“Make someone’s life easier? Me?” He laughed. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, I have found that you attract more flies with honey than vinegar,” she said with a bright smile. She looked at him and noticed the large mirror he was holding for the first time. “Do I even want to know what trouble are you going to cause today?”
He picked up his mirror and directed the light at Flo’s eyes, causing her to squint and turn away. “I was thinking about aiming the glare of the sun right at the drivers as they try to make their way home from a long, hard day of work.” He grinned. “There’s nothing like finding some sucker on the road with cut rate name your own price insurance and ruining his day.”
Flo narrowed her eyes. “I’ll have you know that the ability to name your own price is a great service for our customers. In fact, Progressive is the leader in--”
“Can it. I’ve heard your gimmick before,” Mayhem interrupted. He picked up her cup of coffee and took a drink. “It’s your ‘Name Your Own Price’ crap that screws people over when a little Mayhem decides to come their way. Not that I mind.”
“Well,” Flo said defensively, crossing her arms, “maybe if you didn’t cause so many problems, people wouldn’t have to worry about mayhem.”
He set down the coffee cup. “You know me,” he rumbled, reaching out and running a finger down her cheek, “I can’t help but to be bad.”
She took a step back, studying him for several seconds before flashing him a grin. “Anyone can be good,” she countered. “I just think maybe you just need a little sunshine in your life.”
“I don’t think so,” he replied, shaking his head. “Besides, a woman like you crave a little mayhem in your life.”
Flo rolled her eyes. “Please, don’t flatter yourself. Someone like me does not want someone like you ruining their day.”
“About their night?” he leered.
“No, not that either.”
“I’m not buyin’ it,” he said before taking a step closer to her. “I know you haven’t always been a goody goody. I know what you were like before all your ‘Progressive is awesome’ lifestyle,” Mayhem shot back with a wicked grin on his face.
Flo froze, her smile gone. “What are you talking about?”
Sensing his advantage, he leaned close to her ear. “My buddy Chaos told me about your previous…adventures.” The low rumble of his voice tickled her. “I have to say that if what he said about you is true, I’m pretty impressed.”
Flo took a step back and shook her head. She looked at him wide-eyed. “That was a different time in my life. I’ve changed. There’s no room for mayhem in my life anymore.” Though she tried to sound convincing, there was a longing in her voice that was impossible to ignore.
“There’s always room for a little mayhem,” he replied, invading her personal space again. “It’s good for you.”
“Good for me?” she repeated.
“You know it’s tempting,” he replied.
“You know, Mayhem, I think I’m the one tempting you. Seeing me and all my predictability is like a siren’s call for you.” She stepped forward and ran her hand over his red tie. “But, honey, I’m far too much for you to handle.”
He covered her hand with his own. With his other hand, he reached out and cupped her chin, tilting it towards his face. “I’d be willing to try.” He smirked. “You know how much I like a challenge.”
She flashed him a knowing smile. “I’m sure you do,” she said.
“Oh, for the love of the thousands of drivers that have saved money by switching to Geico, would you get a bloody room already? I’m starting to choke on the sexual tension between the two of you.”
The two of them jumped apart and turned around where the Geico gecko was standing with his arms crossed. He slowly blinked his eyes. “Yes. You two.”
“We were just talking,” Flo weakly argued.
“If that was just talking then I’m Godzilla,” the gecko replied, rolling his eyes.
“You know, the green lizard--” Mayhem started before the amphibian spoke up.
“Gecko.”
“Gecko has a point. So, what do you say? Wanna meet up after your shift?” He smiled. “It could be a lot of fun. For the both of us.”
Flo shook her head and flashed him a sweet smile. “I’ll have to pass, Mayhem. I prefer to just flirt with danger. Not date it.”
He flashed her a grin, knowing he had been out-manuevered by her. “Same time tomorrow?”
“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she replied with a wink. Before she walked away, she placed a kiss on his cheek. Then she sauntered through the door marked “PROGRESSIVE” without turning back.
The gecko looked at Mayhem then to the door where Flo had gone and back to Mayhem. He ran up the side of the desk to get closer to eye level with the man standing next to him. “You probably already know this, but you are one lucky bastard.”
Mayhem grinned and picked up his mirror. “I know.” He walked to the Allstate door. “Now it’s time to cause some trouble.”
As soon as the door closed, the gecko sighed. “And of course, I have to get stuck with some old guy as my constant sidekick.”