Epic True Blood Reaction Post is MAAAAAHN

[memphis86]

Yes I have caught myself up on True Blood. I took a break after episode 6 because I was so damn frustrated at them for holding back and not fucking SOLVING anything that I couldn't take it anymore. (It's why I like things like Law & Order because they fucking SOLVE IT and they do it with a "dun dunnn!" at the end!)

Anyway! Here is a list of things, may be considered gif-spammy and capslocky, YOU ARE WARNED!

Thoughts in bullet points (with bonus gif action!)

[All gifs are NAHT MAAAAHN.]

1. HOOOOOOOOOYT. First and formost, HOOOOOOOOOOOYT!!! I get little sparkly star-eyes whenever he is on camera. And his fucking SWAGGER!! KJHSDGKJHSFG!!! I need a gif of him unbuttoning that blue shirt as he's walking to sex up Jessica and I need it NOW. KLJSDHKLJSDHKLJSFHDKLUIHIUHKLHE!!!!! I am withdrawing from all this Team Bill/Team Eric nonsense and declaring my allegiance towards TEAM HOYT!! (Which should be read in the same way as STEVE HOLT! obvs)


2. Speaking of, and here's where you all roll your eyes and tell me I'm wrong, I LIKE SOOKIE AND BILL. I like them better as a couple than Sookie and Eric. No, I will not try to stop you from shipping Eric and Sookie, but whatever! I get it, in the books there are differences in Bill's character but I like what they're doing with them in the show. If this makes me wrong, fine. But I like what I like.


3. This is not to say I think Eric isn't an interesting character! I think I fell a little in love with him when he did his human impression and basically hunched his shoulders up and did the vampire equivalent of Liz Lemon's puppet walk:
   
   
   


4. And yes, I will also admit, he's smoooooooooooooth and I LOL'd:
   
   
   
   AND THEN SOME SAY, ERIC'S COCK HEART GREW THREE SIZES THAT DAY.


5. MOVING ON. Okay one more, YES I AM A FAN OF SOOKIE ERIC IN THEORY IF IT MEANS HE GETS MORE NAKED TIME:
   
   
   
   IN. THEORY. I still love you, Vampire Bill! *sniffle*


6. LAFAYETTE > EVERYONE ELSE IN BON TEMPS. Srsly.


7. LAFAYETTE FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN. THAT'S RIGHT, SIT DOWN HOOKAH.


8. Okay I have thought about it some more, I would probably be more devastated if Jessica and Hoyt didn't work out than Sookie and Bill, or even Sookie and Eric. I'm coming to more and more realize True Blood is a little like HIMYM, in that I don't care as much about the main characters as I do the supporting. Meaning I think Eric deserves BETTER.


9. And BETTER for Eric would mean I ship him SO HARD with Godric. LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING MAKER:
   
   
   
   TRUFAX: HE IS REFERRING TO HIS COCK.


10. And then ERIC fucking breaks my heart and CONFUSES ME EVEN MORE. WTF?! I THOUGHT I HAD YOU PEGGED, MISTER!!
    
    
    
    WHY YOU GOTTA PLAY ME LIKE THAT?


11. Sam Merlotte you better still have some tricks up your sleeve! Tara, when you come down you better get sexy with him again! I'm serious Tara, NO SOUPEGGS FOR YOU. SOMEONE NEEDS A FUCKING TOWEL.


12. I'm enjoying this show, conflicted as I am. ALAN BALL, I DON'T CARE IF YOU SHIP SOOKIE/BILL, JUST BRING ME MORE SAAAAAM BEING ALL CUTE AND SCRUFFY! SCRUFFY!!

Okay now I'm going to go read some Godric/Eric drabble goodness that regala_electra wrote, and YOU SHOULD TOO!