Palace of the Brine: 5. The Canopic Jar

[memphis86]

**

The Canopic Jar

Having Chad around more has its benefits, in that Jared has a live-in babysitter to take care of Eve while he and Jensen, well…

Chad calls it "indoor-rules pants hockey," or "bonertown varsity lacrosse," at alternating times. Jensen tells him it's them reinvigorating their physical relationship. Jared asks him if he heard that term from Dr. Collins, and Jensen tells him to stuff it before shoving their mouths together.

Jared just thinks of it as remapping their pathways. Like the way he's got Jensen's cock in his mouth right now, tongue swirling around the shaft and hearing Jensen groan as he fists his hair tighter.

"Fuck, fuck, keep going," Jensen says, his breath hitching. "God, your mouth feels so on me."

Jared holds back a smile, just trying to focus on Jensen's cock, on sucking him and licking him and the way he can rock his hips back and forth, in and out of the tight seal of his mouth. Jared's fingers dig in deeper to Jensen's hips as he comes, rush of it into the back of his throat.

"Fuck!" Jensen says, voice coarse and breath coming faster and faster as he recovers. "Fucking, c'mere, I need you," Jensen growls and Jared holds up a finger as he spits it out into the glass by the bedside, and then wriggles in next to Jensen.

Jensen rolls his eyes.

"What? I don't want to be drinking that for two. You can, however, go to town, right now."

"Jared…"

"On my dick, that is-you're not going in to town or anything. But my dick is here for you."

"Jared, it's perfectly safe to swallow when you're y'know?"

Jared gapes at him. "Really?" Jensen nods.

"I get that question from my patients all the time. Well, sometimes just their lovers or husbands or whoever. That and questions about the whole 'can the baby feel it?' myth."

"...Gross."

"Look, the point is the damn proteins will dissolve in your stomach before it reaches the, whatever it is you've grown down there to feed the kid."

"Well do you also remember the part where my tastebuds are extra-sensitive and it makes it taste like the way bok choy smells?"

Jensen pouts. "I'll eat a lot of pineapple?" he offers.

Jared shakes his head. "That's not just it. You know you might have little bits of Egyptian curse-thingies in it. I'm not risking that."

"Little microscopic swimming ram-gods?"

"Frog-goddesses."

"Ew," Jensen says, scrunching up his nose. "Okay, I am not touching you until you take that back."

"What?" Jared says with a smile. "Heqet was associated with frogs. Sometimes she had a frog for a head, sometimes she was a woman with a frog on her head. They represented fertility in Egypt-the flooding of the Nile, that sort of thing."

"Frogs are gross," Jensen says.

"You are so weird," Jared says, and Jensen sticks out his tongue at him. "Don't give me that tongue unless you know what to do with it." Jared runs a line of kisses along the side of Jensen's face.

"I guess, I could do a little," Jensen murmurs, turning to hover over Jared's body, then starts planting kisses down his mouth to his chest. "Something, something," Jensen says, stopping right over Jared's stomach.

"Jensen," Jared moans.

"Can I?" he asks, and Jared nods, Jensen then places his lips on the apex, right where Jared's stomach is sticking out the farthest, before moving down even lower to where Jared's cock starts to swell against his touch.

"Fucking love you," Jared sighs, as the wet, warmth surrounds his cock and Jensen licks-sucks-works him there.




**

There are of course, drawbacks to having Chad there all the time. The main one being that Jensen doesn't have the patience Jared cultivated from knowing him as long as he has, and living with him as roommates in college.

The fundamental problem, Jared concludes from watching them attempt to cohabitate, is the fact that they both are as particular in their ways as they are.

"See, I'm an artist, so I don't think as rigid as those two. I work like clay-molding and adapting to things," Jared whispers to the bump sitting in his lap. At five months along, it's just been getting progressively more round and there.

Chad meanwhile, watches Jensen attempt to make Eve a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, though neither are getting very far.

"You know, I always use raspberry or strawberry jelly when I do those for Eve," Chad says, looking over Jensen's shoulder.

Jensen tenses. "We have grape jelly already open in the fridge."

Chad looks over his shoulder to where Eve is sitting in the living room, coloring. "Eve, do you want raspberry jelly or yucky grape?"

"Raspberry pleeeeeease!" Eve shouts back.

Jensen puts the knife down. "I guess I'll open up that one, then," he says, giving Chad a tense smile. Jensen stalks back over to the fridge, grabs the raspberry jelly, and spreads it.

And Chad remains over his shoulder the entire time.

"Are you watching me for any specific reason, Chad?"

"I'm just wondering if you've given the bread a very light toast yet. I always very lightly toast the bread for Eve so it doesn't get soggy. I'm just saying because I notice the way it's starting to sog up in the corner there," Chad says, pointing at the sandwich.

"Chad, why don't you just make the damn thing yourself?" Jensen sighs, shoving it towards him.

"No, no I'm sorry! Forget I said it! No big deal," Chad says, putting his hands up in defense.

"Fine," Jensen says, and goes back to closing the sandwich and cutting it into triangle when Chad sucks his teeth in. "What?" Jensen snaps.

"You didn't take off the crusts."

"Eve always eats it with the crusts," Jensen says.

"Crusts aren't allowed," Chad shakes his head, "Eve, are crusts okay?"

"Never!" Eve shouts, throwing her fist in the air.

Jensen looks towards Jared who shrugs. "Actually, she usually eats around the crusts, dunno if you've noticed that, but I guess since Chad and I make more of the sandwiches and you take care of the dinner stuff."

Jensen sighs. "Fine, I will cut off the crusts-"

"And the song, you're gonna do the song, right?"

Jensen twitches. "There's a song?"

"I always do the peanut butter jelly time song," Chad says. "Y'know? It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!'" Chad sings a bit of it for him.

Jensen throws up his hands. "That's it, I quit. Eve! You want a turkey sandwich instead?" Jensen yells to her in the living room.

"Yeah, I want turkey!" Eve yells back and Jensen gives Chad a smug look.

"Hey, y'know I like crusts?" Jared offers and Jensen slides the plate to him.

Chad ducks his head as Jensen begins to put together a quick turkey sandwich for Eve. "Sorry about that, I'm just used to, y'know, being in charge of snack time?"

"It's fine," Jensen mutters as he goes to take Eve her sandwich.

Chad sits down at the kitchen table with Jared, his head in one hand, squishing the left side of his face, looking somewhat dejected.

"Whuh's wrongf?" Jared asks, peanut butter sticking to the roof of his mouth.

"It's just, I do turkey sandwiches a little different and-" Jensen strides right back into the kitchen, putting the sandwich in front of Jared along with the earlier discard. Jensen clears his throat.

"She wants it lightly toasted and with a slice of cranberry sauce, like her Dad does," Jensen says through a clenched jaw. "And apparently, there's a song that goes with turkey sandwiches too!" Jensen says, irritated.

"Well, it is turkey lurkey time," Chad says standing up. "You're sure you don't mind me taking this one?"

Jensen waves him away. "It's fine, it's fine, I'll figure out the complexities of snack time another day." Jensen sits down at the table with Jared burying his head in the crook of his arms and muttering.

When Chad's in the living room serenading Eve with what has to be the most embarrassing song ever, Jared whispers: "Mmm, doesn't your Daddy makes a really great turkey sandwich, though?"

Jensen picks up his head. "My daddy what?"

"It's the salt in-between the slices, Jensen, that's what really aces it."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Not-quite-baby-yet," Jared says, pointing to his stomach. "I'm working on the name. 'Baby' is still too intimidating for me. Don't want to get my hopes up just in case, y'know god forbid I've flown too far to the sun this time around."

Jensen laughs. "You're talking to, whatsit, our pseudo-quasi-possibly-baby?"

"I was also thinking of 'Maybe-baby' because it's simpler and it rhymes, but I think rhyming names are silly. And yeah, I've been talking to almost-sort-of-baby. Just some random observations here and there."

Jensen picks up the other square of PBJ Jared hasn't touched yet. "Her daddy makes good turkey sandwiches, huh?"

"Amazing ones. And they're song-free." Jared smiles at him.

**

There's not much else to do in the days when Eve's at school, Chad and Jensen are at work and Jared doesn't want to drive all the way to his studio. So mostly his days are filled with building little crafts out of household items for Eve to play with.

Jensen is mildly amused by the soap-bar animals, but annoyed with the toothpick houses he's built for them because Eve has a habit of leaving them in the hallways. And Jensen has a habit of walking around without shoes on.

Jared is surprised when Jensen starts getting home before Chad does in the evenings. In fact, Chad starts showing up later and later each night, sometimes sneaking in and tiptoeing around Jared in the living room as he's constructing little owls out of black yarn, cotton balls and Q-tips.

Jared clicks his tongue and says. "Why exactly are you sneaking around like you've been out past curfew?"

Chad freezes. "Umm."

"What's her name?" Jared says, waggling his eyebrows. "Or were you running another Twilight book-burning?"

Chad crosses his arms. "Look, I have a lot of shit to do at the library." Jared snorts.

"We're coming on the busy season and I have to plan for the summer Day School program we're running and that means I have to re-schedule the adult literacy classes and the ESL testing labs are starting up and we also are proctoring the overflow ACTs for the highschool next week. So I'm busy, okay? Not everything I do has to do with hooking up or goofing off." Chad snaps and Jared holds up his hands in defense.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything," Jared says.

"It's fine, forget about it." Chad clears his throat. "Hey, so why are you awake?"

"Can't sleep, too pregnant."

"Really?" Chad asks.

"Nah, just," Jared stretches his arms over his head and continues, "weird dreams, kept waking Jensen up. Thought I'd do something productive instead."

"Oh," Chad says, joining Jared on the couch.

"What d'you think?" Jared says, holding up a snowy-white owlet flecked with little stripes of yarn.

"It's neat, I have a feeling Eve will squish it flat, though."

Jared quirks his mouth and nods. "Maybe I could reinforce it with pipe-cleaners."

"Jared," Chad says, and the way his voice drops, low and soft, makes Jared turn to face him completely. His eyes are hooded, head bent looking down at the keys he's turning over in his hands, nervous fidgeting. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," Jared says, putting the owl down.

Chad breathes. "Did you ever-did you ever think about us raising Eve together?"

Jared blinks. "Like, as a couple?"

"Yeah," Chad says, blowing out a breath. "Ahh, fuck it. Forget I said anything-" Chad says starting to get up.

"Wait!" Jared says. "Wait, Chad don't just drop this."

"Look, it was stupid of me to ask. You and Jensen are practically married and you've made it abundantly clear how stupid you are for each other. I just," Chad turns around to face Jared, leaning over the back of the couch.

"Tell me," Jared says, brow knit in concern.

"I've been thinking about why I couldn't make it work with Sophia. I was thinking that maybe it was because I just couldn't y'know, couldn't let go of you."

"Let go of me?" Jared repeats.

Chad's eyes dart to the side. "I gotta work on that."

"Chad," Jared says, standing up and yanking his arm, turning Chad to face him. "I didn't realize-"

"I was so stupid over you back then," Chad says.

"So was I, but-" Jared pauses, not knowing what to say next.

Chad shakes his head. And shakes Jared off of him at the same time. "Don't say anything, okay?"

"Of course, I won't tell Jensen."

"No, I mean shut the hell up, I'm learning how to not be hung up on you anymore. I'm trying to do this in the right order instead of falling in love with Sophia, then having sex with you," Chad breathes out heavy.

"And then loving you, deciding you're not interested so chasing after Sophia, having a kid with you, marrying Sophia even though I loved you more, having kids with her, divorcing her, moving in with you."

Chad laughs. "Don't you see how incredibly fucked up that all is? How I did everything in reverse?"

Jared nods slowly.

"I'm trying to do things in the right order now. So I'm getting over you before I do anything else."

"…Um, that's good?" Jared says apprehensively. "I'll try to stop being so loveable?"

"Just keep being sickeningly nauseatingly cute with Jensen. And I'll keep having casual sex at work after hours," Chad says with a flippant wave and Jared cocks his head to one side.

"Ha! I knew you were out late because you were screwing around!" Jared shouts at him.

"What's 'screwing around', Daddy?" Eve asks from where she's just appeared in the doorway along with Jensen, they must have been heading for the kitchen to get Eve some water.

"Oh yes, do tell us, Daddy?" Jensen says smarmily.

**

When Jared reaches the sixth month, he can balance a bowl on the top of his stomach.

Chad makes a weird sound at the sight of Jared standing and eating a bowl of Fritos while leaning against the kitchen counter, and leaves the room very quickly.

"Well, that's my favorite new thing for you to do," Jensen says, pulling at Jared's newspaper to move in closer for a kiss.

Jared laughs into Jensen's mouth. "I can't help it. It's like a traveling shelf."

"Y'know, I caught you doing that at Grace's Heart before, when you thought no one was looking," Jensen says with a wink.

**

When Jared is inching closer towards the eight month mark, there's not much he wants to do outside of hiding under the covers all day as the quite-possibly-a-baby kicks him; and eating way too many salchipapas soaked in green sauce that he makes Jensen and Chad bring him from the Peruvian place in SoMa.

One lovely morning, Eve wakes him up by jumping up and down on the bed, bouncing and shifting the pillows and blankets around as she shouts "Wake up, little daddies! Wake up!" But then she stops, and crosses her arms, cocking her head to one side as she pats Jared's shoulder. "Daddy, you got fat."

Jared doesn't move from the comfortable crook of Jensen's arms, even as he feels him shaking with laughter. "Uh huh," Jared mumbles.

"Daddy why are you sooooo fat?" Eve asks, poking his side.

"Too many cookies," Jensen yawns and blinks his eyes open.

"And yet, I'm still hungry," Jared says, sitting up and grabbing Eve to pull her in and tickle her. "I smell cookies on you! You! Where are you hiding them, huh? Huh?" Jared says as he tickles and pokes Eve and she squeals. "Am I gonna have to turn you upside down and shake 'em out of you?" And Eve screams and laughs.

"No Daddy! I don't!" Eve giggles and shouts "Pick me up!" Eve jumps at Jared, like she wants to be carried or lifted up in the air.

Jared makes an "Oof!" sound as Eve shoves him back down. "Uhh, Evie, Daddy's not the best at picking things up right now."

"But I wanna go uuuup!" Eve says holding onto his hands and trying to balance on his palms like he usually can do with Eve before lifting her straight up and flying her around the room.

"Eve, I gotcha," Jensen says and scoops her up easily. She laughs and holds her arms out.

"First, we're gonna make sure you're ready for take-off, no cookies or loose change," Jensen says as he mock-shakes her over the bed, and she laughs. "Nope, you're clean."

"Whooosh!" Eve says and Jensen takes the cue to whoosh!-her out of the room. Jared watches them running down the halls and hears what is quite possibly them making a pit stop in the bathroom for a landing on 'toothbrush island', and Jared leans back on the bed.

"That's your big sister, I still haven't told her she's gonna have another brother or sister soon. She's got two little brothers in La Jolla. From what Chad's told me." Jared stretches his arms over his head. "She's a great big sister. I mean, I'm biased because I think she's pretty much a great kid, all-around."

Jensen and Eve zoom by the doorway again. "Okay, where to next?" Jensen asks.

"Let's go wake up Dad and jump on his bed!" Eve says.

Jensen shrugs. "Gotta give the kid what she wants?" and with a wink to Jared, they take off towards the den.

"No! Jensen, Eve! You two leave him alone, he was out late last night!" Jared shouts after them, but they're probably already out of earshot.

And then, there's a scream.

"Great," Jared mutters, feeling his bones and muscles ache as he pulls himself out of bed and walks down the hallway to the den room where Chad's been, well Jensen calls it "nesting."

"Sorry, Chad I told them not to bother you-" Jared starts as he pulls open the door and Jensen walks right out as quickly as possible, covering Eve's eyes.

"But I wanna see!" Eve whines and Jensen goes right past Jared without a word, he can hear a door slam down the hall and Jared turns to see what he hopes is just Jensen discovering Chad sleeps in the nude.

Jared blinks when he sees him. "You're not Chad."

Misha is trying to cover his groin with a couch pillow, but at least he's got an oxford shirt on, even if it's unbuttoned and exposing his chest. There are hickeys on his neck and what Jared assumes is scar from having a nipple piercing on his left side. "Fucker took the blanket," he mutters.

"Is it clear?" Chad asks, peeking out from behind the couch

"Yes it is fucking clear, will you please give me something resembling pants?" Misha snaps and Chad stands up, the comforter wrapper around his waist.

"I think I found your boxers back here. They have little shrimps on 'em?"

"Prawns, and please give me them to me," Misha says, unable to look away from Jared as much as Jared is locked in a stare at him.

Chad hands over the boxers and Misha hops into them quickly.

"Uh, so, um," Chad clicks his teeth, searching for the words. "I guess you're wondering what's going on here?"

"I um," Jared clears his throat. "I don't really have to guess, do I?"

Chad laughs and then Misha turns his head to one side, his brow furrowing.

"Either I'm still drunk, or you're pregnant," Misha says, pointing at Jared. "And I'm like, ninety percent sure I went stone-cold sober when the kid jumped on my face."

Jared feels all the blood drain from his face as Chad stammers and he absently tries to pull down the front of his t-shirt, and god damn it, why did he decide on all nights to sleep in one of his studio tees that's shrunk in the wash and doesn't even cover all the way down to where his hipbones jut out, revealing a slender frame despite the swell of his stomach.

**

Jared digs out his biggest hoodie from the hamper to hide behind before he joins everyone in the kitchen now that they're all fully clothed, and Eve's off at school. Jared sits down at the table next to Jensen, whom Misha shoves away in order to sit next to Jared and stare at him.

"You're kind of grumpy in the morning, y'know that?" Jensen says to Misha.

Misha doesn't look away from Jared, saying, "I'm now fully confidant in my sobriety and the fact that you, really really look like you're pregnant and the fact that Jensen no longer brews anything but decaf is really not helping your case any."

Then Misha turns to address Jensen directly. "The fact that there is no caffeine left in this house is really starting to tick me off, so you'll have to pardon the attitude," he says, finishing with a smile.

Jensen takes his seat on the other side of Jared, pointing at Misha. "See it's kind of nice to know you're not a morning person, it humanizes you. I was starting to think you were this peaceful robot."

"How are you pregnant?" Misha asks Jared, ignoring Jensen.

"I'm not pregnant," Jared denies.

"Peaceful robot?" Chad asks Jensen, as he dumps out nothing but crumbs and sugar ashes into his cereal bowl and pouts.

"Like a robot hippie," Jensen explains. "Peace-and-love-and-let's-go-follow-Phish-around-in-a-van," he says, along with robot-arm movements.

"Never, ever use that pathetic excuse for a robot voice in my presence again. Where the hell are you getting robot from anyway? He looks like a Keebler Elf, if anything," Chad mutters.

Jensen rolls his eyes. "But he's got no soul."

"Shut up, I have a soul, fuck you," Misha says to Jensen.

Jared raises his eyebrows, Misha can definitely curse up a storm like Chad does.

"And you shut up, fuck you," Misha says to Chad. "You ought to be nicer to me if you ever want me to go back up in your tree-hole. Yeah, and it's exactly how it sounds regarding my assessment of your sexual proclivities, so sit the fuck down."

Chad looks like he wants to crawl under the table and hide after Misha finishes. Jared laughs to himself and Misha snaps his fingers in Jared's face.

"Hey, hey focus up. You are pregnant. Why is this..." Misha pauses, looking at Chad and Jensen. "I'm the only one here upset by this information, why are you both taking this so easily?"

"I'm not pregnant," Jared says again, pulling the hoodie as far down as it will let him.

"I'm allergic to caffeine," Jensen covers.

Chad sits up in his seat. "Okay fuck this, yes Jared's pregnant. We're also out of Lucky Charms, can we please go make a coffee run now?"

Jensen immediately claps his hand over Chad's mouth. "He's lying!"

Chad yanks Jensen's hand down. "I'm not lying, and I want cereal, so can we go now?"

Jensen smacks Chad on the back of the head. "You're such a selfish asshole."

Chad slams his hands down on the kitchen table, making the coffee cups rattle. "Oh fuck off! I'm tired, I'm hungover, and thanks to you, I just had my kid catch me post-coitus. I think I've been keeping a pretty good attitude regarding all the crap you've been dumping on me, Jensen!"

"All the crap I dump on you?" Jensen yells back, and then stands up.

"How about the way you treat me like I'm some kind of non-entity around here and you can just walk in and tell me how to be a parent. Jared and I have been doing fine for five years without your help!" Jensen says, and Chad practically kicks his chair down, standing up to face Jensen as well.

"Without my help? Are you fucking serious? I've seen her practically every damn day since she was born!" Chad yells.

Jensen balls his fists at his side, saying quietly, "Well maybe if you stopped playing babysitter and concentrated on your own shit, you wouldn't be div-"

"Don't you fucking finish that thought because I will punch you," Chad warns

Jared blinks as the argument seems to start fading into the background and he feels his head drop to his chest and then Misha's propping him up and walking him into the living-room, away from all the noise and shouting in the kitchen.

"Hey, Jared, you with me?"

Jared tries to shake off the dizzy feeling but wave after wave of nausea and dizziness bring him down on his knees, holding his chest.

"Um, Misha, I have to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant, and I'm about to pass out so if you could drive me to the hospital and call Katie for me I'd really appreciate it."

Misha doesn't even stop to question how and why or what's going on with Jared, he just helps him up, slinging Jared's arm around his shoulders. "Okay, you have to help me find your car keys because I'm pretty sure you'll fall off my scooter."

Jared smiles. "In my jacket pocket, front hallway. Just take the jacket and we'll-" Jared almost loses his footing and takes Misha down with him but they both recover.

Misha gets him to the front door and grabs his jacket, and then pauses to yell towards the kitchen. "Hey! Taking Jared to the hospital now! Okay?"

Neither Jensen or Chad answer and Misha grumbles as he gets the door open and they shuffle over to the car in the driveway.

Once they're on the road, Misha calls Katie up on his cellphone as Jared does his bestto stay conscious. "Hey, um, Jared and I are on our way to the hospital, where are you?" Misha pauses. "I thought you already saw that movie?" Then he laughs. "Yes, I actually can believe your fiancée would drag you to see High School Musical 3 seven times. Where is it still playing? Really? That is weird! Audience participation and all?"

"Misha, can I please talk to her?"

"Oh, right, Jared needs to tell you something, here," Misha hands him the phone.

"Hi Katie, something's wrong, is Dr. Ferris in today?"

"Oh no! I think she's there, hopefully she's not in surgery. I'll page her right now, should I tell her to meet you at the front desk? Has Jensen tried her already?"

"Jensen's, nnngh," Jared groans at the sharp pain in his side. "Oh god, long story, I will kill him later. I need you to call him, yell at him, I might pass out soon-oh! Eve's at school, someone to pick her up..." Jared manages before he starts blinking and his head drops and he lets go of the cell.

Misha shakes him back to consciousness, "Hey, c'mon we're going to be there really soon. Stay awake, okay?"

"Right," Jared mumbles and tries to focus on the side of the road.

**




"I am totally fucking cursed," Jared says and it echoes, vibrating down the museum halls. "I get it, okay!" Jared shouts. "I fucked with your stuff. I pissed you off and you're trying to punish me!"

Jared drops to a crouch on the floor. "Punish me all you want, just don't punish my kid," he whispers.

She touches his shoulder and he blinks awake.

**

Dr. Sam Ferris gives him the cockiest grin imaginable. "Now I'm torn really, between being impressed that you and Jensen have been able to keep this from me for, how long? Seven months?"

"Almost eight," Jared says as Dr. Ferris and her orderlies help him from the car into a wheelchair, and move him into the hospital side-entrance, Misha trailing behind them on his cellphone.

"Like I said, I am absolutely stunned by that piece of handiwork. Do your parents know?"

"I bought their silence by promising to go to the Fourth of July barbeque at the mansion."

Dr. Ferris nods. "And do you know what else I'm feeling, Jared?"

"Pissed off?" Jared guesses.

"Because?"

"Because I'm an idiot and I should have told you sooner and if I put any more risk to myself or my baby you're going to break my thumbs?"

Dr. Ferris smiles. "Has it really been five years? God, Jared you know me so well. I'm clearing a room for you as we speak. I get word that you leave it for even five minutes, I'm going to come and strap you to the bed with duct tape."

Jared nods as he's wheeled into the elevator. "Fair enough."

Misha runs up to catch them. "Yeah, we're getting in the elevator and cutting out, bye," Misha says and closes his cellphone. "Okay, so Katie says she'll be here as soon as she can, and Dr. Ferris you can find a series of sonograms in a folder Nurse Roberts is holding for her under the name 'Jaredina Pulaski'."

"Tell Katie she can suck it," Jared interrupts.

"After that, tell her I'll see her in my office," Dr. Ferris says as the doors open with a ding to a familiar-looking floor.

Welcome back to Grace's Heart, seahorse, Jared says to himself.

**

After Jared has every test imaginable-twice, they finally let him get into a room. The general consensus Dr. Ferris came to was that Jared had a mild dizzy spell due to stress and slight dehydration. Both him and the baby seemed to be fine, though.

"Looks like you're further along than you've realized, I'm going to book your surgery in about a week," Dr. Ferris says, as she takes down his x-ray charts and notes something on her clipboard.

"Wow," Jared says, half terrified that it's coming down sooner than he thought, and half excited by the prospect of getting to meet his possible new son-or-daughter.

"How exactly does something like this happen?" Misha says.

"We don't know," Dr. Ferris answers.

"Egyptian curse," Jared says.

Dr. Ferris sighs. "Have you been able to get a hold of Dr. Ackles?"

Misha shrugs. "He's not answering the phone, or his cell, and Chad's not picking up either. Maybe they killed each other."

"Damn it, Jensen," Jared says, rolling his eyes back.

Dr. Ferris gives him a sympathetic look. "You're here now, and he'll know where to find you. From what you told me, it sounds like they have some issues to hash out. I've got to go meet with the hospital director about scheduling this surgery, you can page me if there's trouble." Dr. Ferris gathers up her charts, checks Jared's vitals one more time, and leaves the room.

Misha looks Jared over. "So, pregnant by an Egyptian curse, huh?"

Jared fidgets. "Hey, Misha are you caffeinated?"

"Certainly am," Misha says, holding up his coffee cup and taking a sip.

"So you're the guy having casual sex with Chad, huh?"

Misha raises an eyebrow. "Indeed."

Jared shakes his head. "Really? That's just-nothing else to say about it?"

Misha shrugs. "I didn't realize he was your baby's daddy when I met him at the library."

"... Katie told you the whole story, didn't she?"

"While you were in the MRI, yeah."

Jared scratches the side of his neck. "So, you met him at the library? Tell me about it?"

Misha sits down at his side. "Not much to tell, I saw him yelling at someone for making noise and then he started eating these really loud, crunchy potato chips and I started laughing."

Jared shakes his head, "Can't believe he's still doing that."

"So he asks me 'What the hell are you laughing at?' and I said 'Your face,' and he said, 'That's cool, I was laughing at your face while I was boning your mom' and then we just started talking back and forth until someone shushed us and Chad told them he'd make him eat the Sherlock Jr. book he was reading until he could shit out a Nancy Drew," Misha pauses, swallowing a giggle.

"And then the kids' parents showed up and I couldn't stop laughing until there were tears coming down our faces."

Jared's eyes go wide. "Oh geez, how old?"

"Maybe like, eight? Anyway," Misha sighs, "it just kind of happened after that. One minute he's chastising me for checking out The Quantum and the Lotus for the tenth time and I'm saying his hair's stupid and then the next thing we're making out in the stacks."

There's a knock on the door before Jared has enough time to process it all, "Room service!" the person on the other end says. "Did you order a small fry?" followed by the unmistakable sound of Eve giggling.

Jared feels a tug of relief. "It's okay, come in!" he says and Katie, Mike and Tom walk in. Tom's carrying Eve in his arms with her pink backpack slung around his shoulder like a purse.

"How're you feeling Jared?" Katie asks and sits by his side to do a quick vitals check.

"Better now, but what's with Eve-"

"She's fine," Mike says, crowding Jared's bedside as well. "Okay so what the hell are you doing here without Jensen. Do I have to kick his ass?" Mike pauses, acknowledging Misha on the other side of Jared's bed. He coughs. "Dr. Collins."

"Dr. Rosenbaum." Misha nods back at him, clearing his throat.

"That kindergarten teacher is scary, dude," Tom says.

Jared is still more concerned with Eve, seemingly passed out in the cradle of Tom's arms. "She is?"

"Yep, Evie are you fine?" Mike asks her.

Eve opens one eye and puts a finger to her lips. "Shhh, Daddy I'm pretending to be sick so that Dr. Sam will let me stay here too."

Tom shrugs. "It was her idea, I swear."

Jared waves him over, with his arms open. "C'mon, she can lie here next to me, we'll make room." Tom carries Eve over to Jared, laying her down by his side where she immediately wraps her arms around his shoulders and breathes a sigh into his ear.

"Daddy," she murmurs and Jared brushes her cheek with his thumb, pats her hair and feels more and more tension dissipate. It's amazing how Eve can do that when he can see her, feel that she's safe and okay.

"Hi, baby," Jared whispers back and Eve squeezes tighter. She smiles and opens her eyes.

"You okay, Daddy?"

"I'm gonna be fine, Evie."

"The doctors are going to make you all better?" she asks.

"Soon, I hope," Jared answers, playing with her hair, tucking a particularly wavy strand behind her ear and smoothing down the flyaways. "It might take a little while to make me better, baby."

"Because you got fat?"

Jared sighs.

"Wait a minute! I remember you! Where do I know you from?" Tom says, disturbing Jared's peaceful moment. He looks up, and Tom's pointing at Misha, who is shaking his head, brow furrowed.

"I don't think we've met, actually?"

"No, dude I totally know you!" Tom slaps the side of his head. "Burning Man, right! I totally did see you at Burning Man at the-"

"I've never been to Burning Man," Misha says quickly.

"No, dude, you were totally there, like two years ago, remember?" Tom insists.

Mike rolls his eyes, interrupting. "Tommy, you've never been to Burning Man."

"Yes I have! And he was there!" Tom says.

"No I wasn't!" Misha says again, vigorously shaking his head.

"Tommy, you were with me in London two years ago for a psychiatry conference. That's where you saw him. He was with the anti-psychopharmaceutical protestors."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that one," Misha says, then narrowing his eyes. "I remember you shoving one of my friends."

"She was blocking my way," Mike says back, anger rising in his voice as well.

"She was tying her shoe," Misha responds, almost snarling.

Katie jumps up between them, trying to stop a fight from breaking out. "Okay, guys I think Jared and I can wait for Jensen to get here on our own, you wanna move the crowd outside?"

Tom scratches his head. "But dude, I remember a burning-"

"It was Guy Fawkes Day, Tommy. That's why you thought it was Burning Man."

Tom nods. "Oh, ohhh yeah. But I have been to Burning Man, Mike."

Mike rolls his eyes. "Of course you have, because you've just done everything," Mike says leading him out of the room.

"And I totally got a really awesome BJ from some guy that really looked like him," Tom says as they leave.

Katie sputters. "Misha, is there something you want to tell us?"

Misha ducks his head and walks out, "Nothing, it was nothing," and he's gone down the opposite side of the hall.

Katie and Jared look at each other and snicker. "I can't believe it," Katie says.

"I mean, it's San Francisco? It's not that-"

"Sometimes I think it's harder to find someone that hasn't slept with Tom Welling," Katie says under her breath.

"Tell me about it," Jared says, rolling his eyes. "So, any word from Jensen yet? Misha said he kept getting his voicemail."

Katie shrugs. "Same here, I left a bunch of messages so he's probably on his way over here, just stuck in traffic."

"You're probably right," Jared says. "He'll be here soon."

**

There's no word from Jensen well into the afternoon and evening. Mike and Tom have to go, leaving Eve with Katie and Misha to take turns watching her.

Jared starts to genuinely worry, especially since there's been no word from Chad either.

"Maybe they did kill each other?" Misha says to him when Jared starts pacing the room.

"I'm half tempted to send you over there and see if you can identify the bodies for the police," Jared says, biting his thumbnail.

Misha snorts and there's a soft knock on the door. "Who is it?" Jared asks.

"Hey, it's me," Chad answers.

"Oh thank god," Jared says, sitting back on the bed and Chad opens the door, holding Eve, who's clearly starting to fall asleep in his arms.

"Where's Jensen?" Jared immediately snaps and Chad sighs.

"He's just, in the hallway right now, he'll be in inna minute. I'm taking Eve home now, wanted to let her tell you goodnight."

Eve raises a sleepy head and Jared smiles, Chad leans down so Jared can kiss her goodnight and whisper, "Be good for me, okay?"

"Come home soon," Eve says and he head drops back on Chad's shoulder as she yawns.

"I'll try," Jared says and Chad cocks his head to Misha.

"C'mon, I'll drop you off wherever."

"Actually my shift starts soon," Misha says.

"Well c'mere anyway," Chad says and then practically yanks Misha out of the room, loudly whispering, "Give them a goddamn minute, okay?" and shutting the door behind him.

It's all very surreal, Jared feels like there's something they're not telling him, something Dr. Ferris found out or something only an OB-GYN Jensen would know about.

Jared relaxes, tries to feel if something's wrong inside him, waiting for a telltale kick.

"C'mon, kiddo," Jared says to himself. "You can play kickball with my insides, just let me know you're still alive and I haven't-oh god damn it," Jared feels himself start to panic and then Jensen walks in the room, carefully shutting the door behind him.

Jared stands up, hand on his stomach. "Jensen, is there something wrong with the baby?"

Jensen looks at him, he's wearing his glasses. His eyes look red and puffy. "No, there's nothing wrong."

Jared breathes out. "What's wrong?"

"Jared-"

"You look terrible, did you have an allergy attack or something? Is that why you weren't answering the phone? I read that there's a high pollen count today in the paper and maybe I left the kitchen window open? I'm so sorry."

Jensen shakes his head again. "I didn't answer the phone," he says, repeating Jared's words.

"Yeah, we were calling and you weren't-" Jared walks over to hold Jensen's face, looking even closer at the red in his eyes and the paleness of his face. "Jensen, you're scaring me, please tell me what's wrong."

"My mom died today."

**

Flower Girl