[ Private Post ]
So okay. Okay okay okay.
I'm just taking a break. I know Gen says running away from shit isn't the answer but Njoki and I aren't sleeping together anymore and I have shit going on in Jersey I have to worry about. Besides if I just don't worry about relationship stuff maybe I'll wind up finding something.
I hope shit isn't wrecked with Njoki but whatever.
I'll do something to make Gen talk to me too. Idk.
On the bright side, Fish isn't all pissed off at me. And we talked and it was pretty good. he reminded me about the siderooms so I don't need to suck up to Steven and crash at his place. It was kind of a good chat.
It sucks he did shit with Njoki but that's o them to deal with. I'm glad to hear that Gen took it okay. I dunno, I'm ridiculous like that. I still don't think Njoki understands it's not that she did whatever with Fish. I'm glad it was him and not someone else but yeah, even if it was someone else, I'm not actually mad at her.
I'm mad at myself for thinking there was any meaning between us, especially when I went into things knowing there wasn't any long term monogamy going on or anything. I shouldn't have liked her like that. And being heartbroken fucking sucks.
Anyway, I don't want to wallow in that shit. Whatever. I don't know if we'll still be friends or if things will be awkward forever, but other than that I had an okay night. Talking to Fish made me feel better. ...he also wants vid of me jerking it, from the shoulders up, to prove I did it. So I am totally gonna.
shame? what is this shame you speak of?
I'm just taking a break. I know Gen says running away from shit isn't the answer but Njoki and I aren't sleeping together anymore and I have shit going on in Jersey I have to worry about. Besides if I just don't worry about relationship stuff maybe I'll wind up finding something.
I hope shit isn't wrecked with Njoki but whatever.
I'll do something to make Gen talk to me too. Idk.
On the bright side, Fish isn't all pissed off at me. And we talked and it was pretty good. he reminded me about the siderooms so I don't need to suck up to Steven and crash at his place. It was kind of a good chat.
It sucks he did shit with Njoki but that's o them to deal with. I'm glad to hear that Gen took it okay. I dunno, I'm ridiculous like that. I still don't think Njoki understands it's not that she did whatever with Fish. I'm glad it was him and not someone else but yeah, even if it was someone else, I'm not actually mad at her.
I'm mad at myself for thinking there was any meaning between us, especially when I went into things knowing there wasn't any long term monogamy going on or anything. I shouldn't have liked her like that. And being heartbroken fucking sucks.
Anyway, I don't want to wallow in that shit. Whatever. I don't know if we'll still be friends or if things will be awkward forever, but other than that I had an okay night. Talking to Fish made me feel better. ...he also wants vid of me jerking it, from the shoulders up, to prove I did it. So I am totally gonna.
shame? what is this shame you speak of?