What if?
Do people usually play the 'what if' game?? I can never help but think about what if I did this or what if i didn't do that. It soo hard and fustrating because I will never, ever, ever know.
For example what if I never left the country? Would I still be with my family or would I have lost them? I know that I wouldn't have been living with them, but would we be in contact? Would I have ended up hating them and blaming them for things that I only know now that was completely my fault? Would have ended up facing bigger trouble and danger that the police/ Docs/ parents were warning me about. Would I have ended up as one of those girls in the news/ newspaper?
Soo many questions are going though my head everyday and everyday that passes I will still be stuck on all those questions and none of them will ever be answered. I'm a curious person, so even with knowing that I will never find out the answers I still ask myself these questions. Sometimes I even get myself thinking of other 'what if' questions. What if I ended up pregant? What if I got myself in a worst crowd then what I was currently in at the time? More questions and what if's to think about.
Thinking isn't my good points either. I'm more of a do person than a thinking person. Maybe because drugs in your system gives you the lack of thinking. But up today doing is much more than thinking because thinking gives me a headach -_-
I know its not doing me any good by thinking about things that shouldn't have to do with anything in my life any more but seriously, what if???
For example what if I never left the country? Would I still be with my family or would I have lost them? I know that I wouldn't have been living with them, but would we be in contact? Would I have ended up hating them and blaming them for things that I only know now that was completely my fault? Would have ended up facing bigger trouble and danger that the police/ Docs/ parents were warning me about. Would I have ended up as one of those girls in the news/ newspaper?
Soo many questions are going though my head everyday and everyday that passes I will still be stuck on all those questions and none of them will ever be answered. I'm a curious person, so even with knowing that I will never find out the answers I still ask myself these questions. Sometimes I even get myself thinking of other 'what if' questions. What if I ended up pregant? What if I got myself in a worst crowd then what I was currently in at the time? More questions and what if's to think about.
Thinking isn't my good points either. I'm more of a do person than a thinking person. Maybe because drugs in your system gives you the lack of thinking. But up today doing is much more than thinking because thinking gives me a headach -_-
I know its not doing me any good by thinking about things that shouldn't have to do with anything in my life any more but seriously, what if???