*sigh*
I've been wanting to write a journal entry for a while now but nothing good seems to be happening lately.
It's all stupid, private shit that I can't really talk about without potentially bringing a shitstorm down on myself if any of it were to fall into the wrong hands. Family stuff, work stuff.... it all feels very unstable at the moment.
You ever get that feeling that parts of your life are just...building up to something? And that any minute now a huge drama wave will break and close in over your head?
Yeah. Thats my life right now.
Nothing actually happening right now, but...... waiting. Lots of tense, expectant waiting.
The past two months I've just been drifting. Absolutely aimless.
Spending my evenings in the same disposable routine of checking the same websites for updates then getting drunk while watching lame comedy videos, occasionally having all-too brief conversations with people you don't even KNOW anymore.. then waking up the next morning feeling vaugely ashamed of yourself and having to start the whole cycle again.
When did I become the guy who does this shit? The guy who wears boring black leather office shoes and a button-up shirt five days out of seven? The guy who is terrified of anyone asking him what his hobbies are for fear of revealing the fact that he doesn't have any?
Christ.