it's a luscious mix of words and tricks that let us bet when you know we should fold...

[memorydive]

i dont know how to get mad
i just get sad
its really bothersome

why should i try
why?
seriously
why
should
i
try?

this isnt worth it
but then again i live and breathe on the theory that
nothing is worth it
like robyn said that oprah said
if you dont expect anything
then you cant get hurt...

so thats what i have been doing
not expecting anything
and i dont care about it as much
i dont care that we were suppose to hang out
and that he has his house to himself for a week
honestly
that doesnt bother me
what bothers me is thinking that i deserve better...
thinking that i deserve anything
because...everyone who knows me
know that i never feel like i deserve anything
so now im thinking
i am better than him...
and i'm really not.

we are all people
and some people fit
and some people dont
we fit
but...
is it just me
or is it that when you try to make things fit
it gets fucked up?

whatev
i guess everyone disapoints
so i guess its back to the whole
dont expect anything.
guards back up.

...woo hoo...

ding ding

go round two.

aaaaaaaaaaand not to be
a totay downer...

p.s.
love my friends
p.s.s.
love my family
p.p.s.
love myself