Love is what happened.
I wrote this for him to read.
i think of the past
you wouldnt belive what i have to say
to you you woud have never thought
that i would be happy
then again you wouldnt have asked
why happiness?
i found ways to heal my pain
it was the only way and the
time i had to myself to
control want i wanted to feel it wasnt something
i did to get attention it wasnt something i did
so you could have something to say about me
i did it cause it was my way to get away from people
like you. i had other ways too
i wrote peoms i wrote all my sowwors on paper
but after awhile i wrote my sorrows in my arm
i felt the pain
that people have caused
havent you ever just had the feeling of
just wanting to go away and never come back.
one day everything was dizzing everything was
black and burrly.
i tried to take my life
oh god i was soo happy i had the courage
to it. but really i was a coward i was stupid
i never realized what i had right in front of me
i had friends
i had a famliy
but i didnt have one thing
i didnt have love
i guess that was what i was longing for .
i had a boyfriend but he never made me
feel good.
after all that i was gone i was depressed
i had hit rock bottom,
days went where i didnt eat
but people didnt know that
only me
i still didnt get what i wanted
love was something far from me.
but wasnt far from my mind.
i had went to summer school that year
and to me summer school was the last place i wanted
to be but i had no choice.
i was still cutting i still felt pain
in my heart. and in my arms
yea summer school wasnt all that
but to me i had something that made we
wanna go. he was the reason i got up in the
morning he was the reason i felt again.
because of him he was the reason why
i smiled and laughed.
he was everthing i had ever wanted.
he was the courage to stop .
And i did!
from that moment on i knew i was meant to
be with him. but yet nothing ever happened
he never made a move.
so i gave up. summer school was coming to
an end, and i was sad. i left that day
unpround un happy so sad to say goodbye.
but there was nothing i could do.
days went and i wonder what was he doing
is he thinking of me!?
then one day i saw him walking.
my heart started beating fast and
i couldnt talk. but for some reason
I yelled at him. Chris i yelled and he looked
back. it was so long that i didnt speak to him
so long that i havent smiled. but when i saw him
i felt my self glow up. i felt like i havent seen him in
years. from that moment on we talked everyday.
and everyday he made me smile.
it was no suprise to me!
i was still with my boyfriend that in which didnt make
me happy. i was much closer to chris then i was to
him and that was pathetic to me.
the past weeks i was smiling and everyone
knew why it wasnt a secrect.
i invitied chris over you know to hang out.
things were going slow and i was bumed that he
didnt make a move.
i was kinda mad but still glad he was there.
i decided to walk to the store, and he followed.
in my mind i was thinking
"thats what i wanted to be alone"
we walked we talk it was great being alone.
it went quite and we were looking at eachother.
and then we kissed.
i felt like life had stoped for a moment.
and my whole life flased in front of me
this is what Ive been waiting for,
This is the reason Im not gone
like i couldnt belive this was happening.
but i was sad at the same time.
knowing he wasnt asking to get with me.
i had finally had it i couldnt be with some
one who wasnt going make me happy
when i needed to be.
so I called it off with my boyfriend.
it was hard not having no one
ther. but i wasnt going to throw myself
at chris. i was going to wait for him.
Things went slow! slower then i wanted
But time is patients and I did what I had to do.
my heart kept growing for him like
I couldnt stop it.
Hes what Ive always wanted what
Ive always asked for.
We'd talk all hours of the night
about things you wouldnt even think
of in your daily mind of thoughts.
Things seemed like it was to good to be
true and to be honest I didnt get my hopes
up cause I knew the past he was known
for. As much as I liked him
I questioned myself about him
every min of the day.
but I geuss my thoughts and wondering
didnt matter cause in my heart
I still longed for him to like me.
the summer went by like a flash in my head
like I could only remember it now.
High school was starting and high school
is a like an enemy it tends to ruin people
friendships and relationships.
I told myself if we can get through this and stll
talk then I know my heart belongs to him.
August went by so fast, and by the time
I knew It was Sepetember. My heart had
grown tired of thinking and wondering if he wants me
the way I want him. I had no courgage
not with him I was shy and
Im never shy. thats how I knew .
But this I had too I had to find out on my own
I couldnt wait for him no longer.
I asked him, can you come over
I need to talk.
I waited and when he came I couldnt
breath I couldnt talk.
I didnt know what came over me.
I was soo deep in what I thought
was me falling for him that
everytime he came around I
choked.
He asked what is it, whats
wrong!?
I told him,
Im tired of thinking thats
all I do is think.
Your keeping me waiting and I cant
do that. Do you want to be with me
or not cause I want to be with you
but I cant hurt myself over it
if you want to be with tell me.
It went quiet for a bit and I started crying
I didnt know maybe cause in my heart and
in my mind I thought he just wanted to be friends
and then those words came
out I do I wanna be with you
that I started crying but not out of
pain out of what Ive been wanting for along
time Someone to be with me someone
different not like everyboy out there,
Hes everything that I wanted.
At the moment in time I never felt what I felt then
and not even know.I felt like God was on my
side that day. I prayed and hoped for this.
as cheesy at things may seem
I dont care cause no one knew how I felt that day.
I dont think Ill ever feel like this for anyone.
Hes the one I want he what I longed for.
Only in my dreams I had him and I snap
I do have him now. I never knew reality could feel
so good. cause only in dreams do things like
this seem real,
Its been 2 years now and I cant even explain it
Its not what I thought but it made me a better person
inside and out. He made me realize alot of things.
He thought me so much that
hes the only one I would thank
cause hes what made me what I am today.
History was made on Sept, 28 2004.
and nothing like what I wrote today can
recreate this. We've been through so
much I cant believe we are still
together here today.
Hes everything that makes me complete
I just wish he knew it.
I wanna change cause things seem
bad but Ill never break down Ill never
give up. not with him cause hes everything I
think love is. I gave myself
to him and a part of me is always going
to be inside of him.
everything I do with him never fades away
from my mind. Love it what
happened.
i think of the past
you wouldnt belive what i have to say
to you you woud have never thought
that i would be happy
then again you wouldnt have asked
why happiness?
i found ways to heal my pain
it was the only way and the
time i had to myself to
control want i wanted to feel it wasnt something
i did to get attention it wasnt something i did
so you could have something to say about me
i did it cause it was my way to get away from people
like you. i had other ways too
i wrote peoms i wrote all my sowwors on paper
but after awhile i wrote my sorrows in my arm
i felt the pain
that people have caused
havent you ever just had the feeling of
just wanting to go away and never come back.
one day everything was dizzing everything was
black and burrly.
i tried to take my life
oh god i was soo happy i had the courage
to it. but really i was a coward i was stupid
i never realized what i had right in front of me
i had friends
i had a famliy
but i didnt have one thing
i didnt have love
i guess that was what i was longing for .
i had a boyfriend but he never made me
feel good.
after all that i was gone i was depressed
i had hit rock bottom,
days went where i didnt eat
but people didnt know that
only me
i still didnt get what i wanted
love was something far from me.
but wasnt far from my mind.
i had went to summer school that year
and to me summer school was the last place i wanted
to be but i had no choice.
i was still cutting i still felt pain
in my heart. and in my arms
yea summer school wasnt all that
but to me i had something that made we
wanna go. he was the reason i got up in the
morning he was the reason i felt again.
because of him he was the reason why
i smiled and laughed.
he was everthing i had ever wanted.
he was the courage to stop .
And i did!
from that moment on i knew i was meant to
be with him. but yet nothing ever happened
he never made a move.
so i gave up. summer school was coming to
an end, and i was sad. i left that day
unpround un happy so sad to say goodbye.
but there was nothing i could do.
days went and i wonder what was he doing
is he thinking of me!?
then one day i saw him walking.
my heart started beating fast and
i couldnt talk. but for some reason
I yelled at him. Chris i yelled and he looked
back. it was so long that i didnt speak to him
so long that i havent smiled. but when i saw him
i felt my self glow up. i felt like i havent seen him in
years. from that moment on we talked everyday.
and everyday he made me smile.
it was no suprise to me!
i was still with my boyfriend that in which didnt make
me happy. i was much closer to chris then i was to
him and that was pathetic to me.
the past weeks i was smiling and everyone
knew why it wasnt a secrect.
i invitied chris over you know to hang out.
things were going slow and i was bumed that he
didnt make a move.
i was kinda mad but still glad he was there.
i decided to walk to the store, and he followed.
in my mind i was thinking
"thats what i wanted to be alone"
we walked we talk it was great being alone.
it went quite and we were looking at eachother.
and then we kissed.
i felt like life had stoped for a moment.
and my whole life flased in front of me
this is what Ive been waiting for,
This is the reason Im not gone
like i couldnt belive this was happening.
but i was sad at the same time.
knowing he wasnt asking to get with me.
i had finally had it i couldnt be with some
one who wasnt going make me happy
when i needed to be.
so I called it off with my boyfriend.
it was hard not having no one
ther. but i wasnt going to throw myself
at chris. i was going to wait for him.
Things went slow! slower then i wanted
But time is patients and I did what I had to do.
my heart kept growing for him like
I couldnt stop it.
Hes what Ive always wanted what
Ive always asked for.
We'd talk all hours of the night
about things you wouldnt even think
of in your daily mind of thoughts.
Things seemed like it was to good to be
true and to be honest I didnt get my hopes
up cause I knew the past he was known
for. As much as I liked him
I questioned myself about him
every min of the day.
but I geuss my thoughts and wondering
didnt matter cause in my heart
I still longed for him to like me.
the summer went by like a flash in my head
like I could only remember it now.
High school was starting and high school
is a like an enemy it tends to ruin people
friendships and relationships.
I told myself if we can get through this and stll
talk then I know my heart belongs to him.
August went by so fast, and by the time
I knew It was Sepetember. My heart had
grown tired of thinking and wondering if he wants me
the way I want him. I had no courgage
not with him I was shy and
Im never shy. thats how I knew .
But this I had too I had to find out on my own
I couldnt wait for him no longer.
I asked him, can you come over
I need to talk.
I waited and when he came I couldnt
breath I couldnt talk.
I didnt know what came over me.
I was soo deep in what I thought
was me falling for him that
everytime he came around I
choked.
He asked what is it, whats
wrong!?
I told him,
Im tired of thinking thats
all I do is think.
Your keeping me waiting and I cant
do that. Do you want to be with me
or not cause I want to be with you
but I cant hurt myself over it
if you want to be with tell me.
It went quiet for a bit and I started crying
I didnt know maybe cause in my heart and
in my mind I thought he just wanted to be friends
and then those words came
out I do I wanna be with you
that I started crying but not out of
pain out of what Ive been wanting for along
time Someone to be with me someone
different not like everyboy out there,
Hes everything that I wanted.
At the moment in time I never felt what I felt then
and not even know.I felt like God was on my
side that day. I prayed and hoped for this.
as cheesy at things may seem
I dont care cause no one knew how I felt that day.
I dont think Ill ever feel like this for anyone.
Hes the one I want he what I longed for.
Only in my dreams I had him and I snap
I do have him now. I never knew reality could feel
so good. cause only in dreams do things like
this seem real,
Its been 2 years now and I cant even explain it
Its not what I thought but it made me a better person
inside and out. He made me realize alot of things.
He thought me so much that
hes the only one I would thank
cause hes what made me what I am today.
History was made on Sept, 28 2004.
and nothing like what I wrote today can
recreate this. We've been through so
much I cant believe we are still
together here today.
Hes everything that makes me complete
I just wish he knew it.
I wanna change cause things seem
bad but Ill never break down Ill never
give up. not with him cause hes everything I
think love is. I gave myself
to him and a part of me is always going
to be inside of him.
everything I do with him never fades away
from my mind. Love it what
happened.