032113 -- Breakfast at Tiffany's
Each person is different. Each person sees the world differently. Each one of us has our own reality.
Problems arise when realities clash.
You are afraid of me because I’ve hurt you in the past, and you’re afraid I will do it again. But I am afraid of you for the exact same reason. Because we both expect bad things from the other person, we cower in fear, we run away. But I’m the only person you have, you say. No matter what, therefore, you can’t really properly run away.
I’m all you’ve got.
The positions we are in now make it a lot easier, from a vantage point, to decipher what these trying times have meant. And it makes me see that each person does have their own reality. When two realities come together -- when two tracks meet -- we search for ways that our realities match. And we often find things we both like -- Breakfast at Tiffany’s -- and things we’re not so hot on.
And we overlook how the realities clash. At first.
But those are lives, realities, that we have made for ourselves over years and years and years. We are not so easy to budge from our prejudices, things we have been taught, ideals we hold for ourselves, ‘the way things should be.’ This is even more true when the realities clash so hard that it leaves your entire families reeling. What would it be like if I came home with someone from a different country, or race, or gender? What kind of clashes would I have to first overlook before I myself could bring that person home? Should I even do so? Furthermore, should these clashes be avoided at all costs, to make sure there is no hurt done and no feathers ruffled, or should we purposely leave muddy footprints all over ourselves? It’s a question of whether we follow or lead, and there’s not a right answer to either.
The only answer I give then is to choose what you want, and to be unwavering in your conviction for it. Whether that’s a music career or to marry the love of your life, as long as you are dilligent and fulfill your responsibilities to the utmost of your potential, you will live life with no regrets, you will live it in the way you want, and I’m sure God will somehow be pleased.
And one more thing -- do not let harm come to yourself or others. If all you are doing by being with someone is destroying both of you because neither one of you has an appropriate view of their reality, then something must be done.
From here on out, I have to live my life to the best of my reality as possible. But I’m also aware that other people do not share that same reality. It doesn’t mean that they are better and that my reality must mold to theirs (lest I stay worthless) -- it just means that we need to come to an understanding of what this truth, this shared reality, truly is. It means compromise, it means cutting the puffy sleeves off the dress but keeping the dress, it means meeting in the middle ‘neath that old Georgia Pine, it means when she leaves Amarillo to take that job in Tennessee, sometimes you have to quit yours so you two can be together. It also means I need to stop making references to old country songs.
But it means that the two of you create a shared experience, and that’s something nobody in this world can replicate. Your parents may prepare you for the world ahead, but they won’t have quite the hold on your sociology once you leave and discover things for yourself. We all rise, we all fall, and that impacts each and every single one of our realities. And we must decide for each and every one of us what is the truth in our lives.
Now, I’m sure someone is gonna argue me on this one, saying there is only one Truth. Okay. But what will you do if someone dosen’t accept that Truth? Ignore them, shun them, isolate and discriminate against them? Is that okay by your Truth to do that to them? There is no line between slave and free, black and white, male and female. If someone has a different version of reality, get over it.
It’s hard. It’s the most confusing and scary reality I’ve ever faced, one that is so similar and yet so different from mine. I have to play by your rules, by your system, in order for this to work. But I’m willing to.
Are you?
Problems arise when realities clash.
You are afraid of me because I’ve hurt you in the past, and you’re afraid I will do it again. But I am afraid of you for the exact same reason. Because we both expect bad things from the other person, we cower in fear, we run away. But I’m the only person you have, you say. No matter what, therefore, you can’t really properly run away.
I’m all you’ve got.
The positions we are in now make it a lot easier, from a vantage point, to decipher what these trying times have meant. And it makes me see that each person does have their own reality. When two realities come together -- when two tracks meet -- we search for ways that our realities match. And we often find things we both like -- Breakfast at Tiffany’s -- and things we’re not so hot on.
And we overlook how the realities clash. At first.
But those are lives, realities, that we have made for ourselves over years and years and years. We are not so easy to budge from our prejudices, things we have been taught, ideals we hold for ourselves, ‘the way things should be.’ This is even more true when the realities clash so hard that it leaves your entire families reeling. What would it be like if I came home with someone from a different country, or race, or gender? What kind of clashes would I have to first overlook before I myself could bring that person home? Should I even do so? Furthermore, should these clashes be avoided at all costs, to make sure there is no hurt done and no feathers ruffled, or should we purposely leave muddy footprints all over ourselves? It’s a question of whether we follow or lead, and there’s not a right answer to either.
The only answer I give then is to choose what you want, and to be unwavering in your conviction for it. Whether that’s a music career or to marry the love of your life, as long as you are dilligent and fulfill your responsibilities to the utmost of your potential, you will live life with no regrets, you will live it in the way you want, and I’m sure God will somehow be pleased.
And one more thing -- do not let harm come to yourself or others. If all you are doing by being with someone is destroying both of you because neither one of you has an appropriate view of their reality, then something must be done.
From here on out, I have to live my life to the best of my reality as possible. But I’m also aware that other people do not share that same reality. It doesn’t mean that they are better and that my reality must mold to theirs (lest I stay worthless) -- it just means that we need to come to an understanding of what this truth, this shared reality, truly is. It means compromise, it means cutting the puffy sleeves off the dress but keeping the dress, it means meeting in the middle ‘neath that old Georgia Pine, it means when she leaves Amarillo to take that job in Tennessee, sometimes you have to quit yours so you two can be together. It also means I need to stop making references to old country songs.
But it means that the two of you create a shared experience, and that’s something nobody in this world can replicate. Your parents may prepare you for the world ahead, but they won’t have quite the hold on your sociology once you leave and discover things for yourself. We all rise, we all fall, and that impacts each and every single one of our realities. And we must decide for each and every one of us what is the truth in our lives.
Now, I’m sure someone is gonna argue me on this one, saying there is only one Truth. Okay. But what will you do if someone dosen’t accept that Truth? Ignore them, shun them, isolate and discriminate against them? Is that okay by your Truth to do that to them? There is no line between slave and free, black and white, male and female. If someone has a different version of reality, get over it.
It’s hard. It’s the most confusing and scary reality I’ve ever faced, one that is so similar and yet so different from mine. I have to play by your rules, by your system, in order for this to work. But I’m willing to.
Are you?