052211 -- Continued Thoughts
Pulled open Photoshop; I might try to draw something before I go to bed. Coney Island is on my mind a lot. It depresses me; I should quit, think about Kings Island or Cedar Point or something. Why do I do this to myself?
Careers scare the flying crap out of me. And I think part of it is that, as a kid, I figured that my parents would take care of everything. And they did. Until they stopped doing it. Every time I tried to do something on my own, they would either take care of it or tell me I couldn't, and I would go back into my 'good girl' persona. Until last July, when they moved me out and I was on my own. I've done better, but it's been rough. I still want to move this summer. I want to find a career in something I like (career being used lightly, of course). Perhaps I could work with coasters. Or music. Or writing. Any industry scares me, though. They hold so much power. I don't know where to get started. I'm afraid. Not 'hide under my bed' afraid, especially with Dylan.
What am I going to do all summer? Perhaps write and make music like crazy, hide away in my hideaway, and then when the sun comes out again I can focus from there. I'm glad I have a job at this point.
I want a hug.
Careers scare the flying crap out of me. And I think part of it is that, as a kid, I figured that my parents would take care of everything. And they did. Until they stopped doing it. Every time I tried to do something on my own, they would either take care of it or tell me I couldn't, and I would go back into my 'good girl' persona. Until last July, when they moved me out and I was on my own. I've done better, but it's been rough. I still want to move this summer. I want to find a career in something I like (career being used lightly, of course). Perhaps I could work with coasters. Or music. Or writing. Any industry scares me, though. They hold so much power. I don't know where to get started. I'm afraid. Not 'hide under my bed' afraid, especially with Dylan.
What am I going to do all summer? Perhaps write and make music like crazy, hide away in my hideaway, and then when the sun comes out again I can focus from there. I'm glad I have a job at this point.
I want a hug.