The Weekend from hell that ended in heaven
Last night i talked to alecia, although i felt better for a while afterward, we still got into a fight. Seems to me that its going to be easier to do that. I realized something else last night, my thoughts traveled to when harry met sally. Harry says something at the end of that movie, "When you realize who the person is that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Go harry.
In other news, i feel 180% after i spoke my peace to her this morning i dont know if she believes the things i said but i sure as hell do. "Hope does not spring eternal, it must be brought with blood." Maybe now that she knows how i feel i feel better, i think she desperately wants me to see someone else, maybe someday i will, because this much i know i had 2 more years with the one and only person i could ever believe that i was ment for, i dont want someone just like me, who likes what i like. I might as well just be with myself if thats really how it is. I think that the way we agree on somethings and the way we disagree with others is marvelous, and yet we lasted. I do feel bad that I didnt tell her the things that i said earlier about my plans for the 2nd anniversary of Oct. 30th, how i was going to bring her to see "corpse bride", i know it sounds stupid but thinking back my biggest regret in life was not bringing her to go see Boyz 2 Men way back when they were in town. She wanted to go pretty badly but i was stupid, lol kind of like a certain other boyfriend of the phans *cough* chad *cough*, and because i didnt want to go, i didnt take her. A fool am I. She does make some good points at least and for that i am glad. I can now accept what may come, that we may never see each other again after high school, that we may never be a couple again, knowing that somewhere illogically in the universe there is a chance, there will always be one. ALWAYS. And if that means that i spend the rest of my life, getting married and such, a kid or two knowing i lost the one that mattered, well i suppose that is my fault, and if she wants me back she can have me. As i said before when i began the depresssion (although now short lived) "a single grain of rice tips the scale" if thats true than alecia janae phan is the biggest grain of rice. I Will never forget her or the love we had, but i will not let that slow me down. let her now pass in my mind from dream into legend for i will always alway always love her, even if that means my death for her to just smile just once. For you see friends that alot of people dont know that they have the person that they will trult love right in front of them, i can think of so many examples. But i know that i have seen the princess and now that she rides away on the so called metaphorical horse i can smile at her because it happened and never be said because its over. Let love set you free becuase is moves mountains, destroys kingdoms and will always be the ultimate force in the universe. Depression can suck my dick im here to stay
Go harry.
In other news, i feel 180% after i spoke my peace to her this morning i dont know if she believes the things i said but i sure as hell do. "Hope does not spring eternal, it must be brought with blood." Maybe now that she knows how i feel i feel better, i think she desperately wants me to see someone else, maybe someday i will, because this much i know i had 2 more years with the one and only person i could ever believe that i was ment for, i dont want someone just like me, who likes what i like. I might as well just be with myself if thats really how it is. I think that the way we agree on somethings and the way we disagree with others is marvelous, and yet we lasted. I do feel bad that I didnt tell her the things that i said earlier about my plans for the 2nd anniversary of Oct. 30th, how i was going to bring her to see "corpse bride", i know it sounds stupid but thinking back my biggest regret in life was not bringing her to go see Boyz 2 Men way back when they were in town. She wanted to go pretty badly but i was stupid, lol kind of like a certain other boyfriend of the phans *cough* chad *cough*, and because i didnt want to go, i didnt take her. A fool am I. She does make some good points at least and for that i am glad. I can now accept what may come, that we may never see each other again after high school, that we may never be a couple again, knowing that somewhere illogically in the universe there is a chance, there will always be one. ALWAYS. And if that means that i spend the rest of my life, getting married and such, a kid or two knowing i lost the one that mattered, well i suppose that is my fault, and if she wants me back she can have me. As i said before when i began the depresssion (although now short lived) "a single grain of rice tips the scale" if thats true than alecia janae phan is the biggest grain of rice. I Will never forget her or the love we had, but i will not let that slow me down. let her now pass in my mind from dream into legend for i will always alway always love her, even if that means my death for her to just smile just once. For you see friends that alot of people dont know that they have the person that they will trult love right in front of them, i can think of so many examples. But i know that i have seen the princess and now that she rides away on the so called metaphorical horse i can smile at her because it happened and never be said because its over. Let love set you free becuase is moves mountains, destroys kingdoms and will always be the ultimate force in the universe. Depression can suck my dick im here to stay