(no subject)
I'm going to make an effort to journal every day or every other day so I can put my thoughts and feelings down. Hopefully this little experiment to make me a better person will help me or at least help me function better.
I'm debating applying for the teaching program in Georgia and if I should accept it if they want me. I'm also debating taking classes to become a paralegal. I wish I knew what to do with my life. Maybe I'll go to grad school and find the answer there. Whatever I'm supposed to be doing it's not going to be here. I know that much.
There isn't a worry of me being too me centered with this, which is nice. No one will read this or comment on this, which is also nice. I hate Facebook and I'm considerating deleting it. I have no privacy there. I have no privacy anywhere, especially at home. Maybe I'll talk about that in therapy tomorrow. I'm scared to go to the therapist tomorrow and almost want to cancel but I have to do this for myself. If a year of therapy did me good then it'll do me good to do another year of it. This is the last year I have coverage anyway and what better way to stick it to them with expensive therapy bills?
Some days I feel so alone that I want to cry but I remember there are people around me. And nice, sane people don't break down crying in the middle of the day. Nice, normal girls don't do anything bad or crazy. Maybe I'm so far gone that I'm imagining I'm crazy? Am I sane if I wonder if I'm crazy? What is the definition of crazy? Maybe I haven't let all the crazy out but if I did then people would really think I'm crazy.
I'm debating applying for the teaching program in Georgia and if I should accept it if they want me. I'm also debating taking classes to become a paralegal. I wish I knew what to do with my life. Maybe I'll go to grad school and find the answer there. Whatever I'm supposed to be doing it's not going to be here. I know that much.
There isn't a worry of me being too me centered with this, which is nice. No one will read this or comment on this, which is also nice. I hate Facebook and I'm considerating deleting it. I have no privacy there. I have no privacy anywhere, especially at home. Maybe I'll talk about that in therapy tomorrow. I'm scared to go to the therapist tomorrow and almost want to cancel but I have to do this for myself. If a year of therapy did me good then it'll do me good to do another year of it. This is the last year I have coverage anyway and what better way to stick it to them with expensive therapy bills?
Some days I feel so alone that I want to cry but I remember there are people around me. And nice, sane people don't break down crying in the middle of the day. Nice, normal girls don't do anything bad or crazy. Maybe I'm so far gone that I'm imagining I'm crazy? Am I sane if I wonder if I'm crazy? What is the definition of crazy? Maybe I haven't let all the crazy out but if I did then people would really think I'm crazy.